


If My Fav Idol Made It To Seoul Olympic Stadium, I Would Die

by Savee



Category: GOT7, ITZY (Band), NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, 여자친구 | GFriend (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Depressed Min Yoongi | Suga, Idol Jeon Jungkook, Like Way Slow, Lots of Cursing, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Producer Kim Namjoon | RM, Producer Min Yoongi | Suga, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Underground Rapper Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Underground Rapper Kim Namjoon | RM, Underground Rapper Min Yoongi | Suga, and i guess i got every member of itzy in that first chapter, cursing, except all of bangtan, i cannot promise every single member of every single group mentioned will be part of the fic, inspired by If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It To Budokan, inspired by the anime but with a very different story, min yoongi is a fan, ten is a catch, the 97 line are their own idol group, yoongi is not all he seems to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 51,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23329594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savee/pseuds/Savee
Summary: "Just because they're idol fans they get belittled, but they're really incredible people. Honestly, it's not something that should happen just because they like someone."- Min YoongiMin Yoongi is not a stereotypical idol fan, but he has been devoted to Jeon Jungkook and his group, New Age for two years.It doesn't matter that Jungkook barely talks to him at fansign events and keeps more than enough room for an unspecified deity between them during photo-opts. It doesn't.Yoongi has given up on most goals for his own life, but he still has some dreams for Jungkook and New Age, including a sold out concert at the Seoul Olympic Stadium.Will Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok convince Yoongi to remember his own dreams? Will Jungkook get up the nerve to tell Yoongi how he really feels? Can Jimin and Taehyung make it through an entire month without causing a scandal? Are BamBam and Jackson safe from Yugyeom's jealous wrath? Will Mingyu ever tell Yuju how he feels? Are Sowon and Eunha the ultimate idol power couple? Will teenage girls stop making Yoongi feel old? Can New Age sell out a concert at Seoul Olympic Stadium? Read on to find out!
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Eunbi | Eunha/Kim Sojung | Sowon, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin
Comments: 106
Kudos: 212





	1. Chapter 1

It was early.

Too fucking early.

But, well, what was Yoongi supposed to do, sleep in when he knew N/A would be pre-recording at Music Bank?

“Yoongi-oppa, I’ll yell for Jungkookie if you promise to yell for Jaehyun.”

Yoongi clicked his tongue and took a sip of coffee before answering Lia. The girls often asked him to yell for their biases at events since his voice stood out among the mostly teen group of fans. But Chaeryeong spoke up before Yoongi had finished caffinating.

“Yah, Lia, you know it is disrespectful to call him oppa. You should refer to him as Yoongi-samcheon.”

Yoongi almost dropped his coffee. Chaeryeong kept an innocent look on her face while her big sister Chaeyeon cackled. Lia and Ryujin were giggling, Yeji was smirking around the straw of her boba.

“Heeey,” Yuna said, “That’s not very nice, Chaeryeong.”

Ah, Yuna, the sweet baby giraffe and another N/A fan with a Jungkook bias.

“Yoongi-oppa is too sweet and too cute to be called samcheon.”

She followed it up by patting his beanie-covered head.

Chaeryeong couldn’t keep up the act any more and started cackling just like her sister. Yeji almost snorted tea out her nose and started complaining that her sinuses were now burned.

Yoongi sighed.

He liked the girls well enough. They were obnoxiously young, and sometimes purposely stood next to him when Songbird Agency staff took crowd pictures because it made him uncomfortable. But they were nice girls, he didn’t mind standing next to them at N/A fan events.

Sure, it would have been better if Ten, a BamBam bias often bias wrecked by Jaehyun, had been able to get off work, but the girls were still fun. And even though Chaeyeon wasn’t really an idol fan, it was nice to have someone a little closer to his age there as well.

“They’re here! They’re here!”

Yoongi turned back to the Music Bank entrance. His breath caught. Here they were.

N/A, short for New Age, was a seven-person group made up of all ‘97 liners. They’d debuted two years ago with a company focused mainly on actors. But BM Entertainment had decided to make a smaller in-house agency focusing on idol music.

So, Songbird was born and their first group was N/A.

BamBam, Jaehyun, Yugyeom, THE8, Mingyu, DK and..

Jungkook, bringing up the rear, sleep-rumpled and smiling, eyes sparkling. His hair was fluffy today. The singer was in his preferred all-black, though a stylist seemed to have made a deal with Jungkook so he was in tight, ripped black jeans and a black tshirt.

“Ah, Lia, I don’t think Yoongi is going to be able to yell for anyone. He’s been Jungshook.”

Usually Yoongi would roll his eyes or complain about the catchphrase being applied to Yoongi instead of his favorite idol.

But, they weren’t too far off.

Just looking at Jungkook took his breath away.

Yoongi watched the members line up and wave to the crowds. Jungkook, as always, seemed shy but happy.

After a few minutes, a staff member motioned for the boys to move into the building. Yoongi felt his heart clench. Now, he had to yell now, as loud as he could.

“JEON JUNGKOOK, WE LOVE YOU JEON JUNGKOOK!!!!!”

Jungkook’s head popped up and swiveled in Yoongi’s direction, his beautiful eyes wide. The other N/A members giggled but they were also smiling.

Yoongi didn’t care. His only goal was to make it clear Jungkook had dedicated supporters, both to the company and to Jungkook.

That’s all Yoongi had wanted since he first stumbled upon Jungkook passing out fliers for N/A’s first performance.

Yoongi had decided to take the long way home through a park after a particularly demoralizing day.

Then his sorrowful walk was interrupted by Jungkook.

“Would, ah, would you, maybe, want to, t-t-to come to our concert? It’s free! A-a-and just over there, in like, half an hour!”

His hair was shorter then, and a stylist has put the singer in some kind of schoolboy outfit.

He’d looked so nervous, and Yoongi felt his chest ache. He knew what it felt like, to put himself out there knowing he would be rejected.

“Sure, I, ah, I don’t have anything better to do.”

Jungkook had flushed and looked down. Oh no. Too many emotions, Yoongi couldn’t be this embarrassed, regretful and smitten at the same time.

Fuck, how old was this kid? Yoongi could now add the horror of finding oneself to be a pervert to the list of emotions.

But he still attended the free concert.

All the New Age members were good. He didn’t particularly like their songs. Somehow they sounded both under-produced and over-bearing. Their talent still managed to shine through. It made Yoongi’s fingers itch.

Especially Jungkook. One song, the only one Yoongi kinda liked, Jungkook practically ran up and down a vocal scale behind THE8 rapping.

His voice was beautiful. The way he danced… Yoongi carefully did not think about that until he was handed another flier with information about each of the members. All born in 1997.

Well, if that was the case.

Jungkook danced like Yoongi’s most innocent and impure dreams rolled into one beautiful, worship-worthy god.

And that’s what Yoongi did for the next two years, worship Jungkook. He took on another part-time job, carefully dedicating all the funds from the second into supporting N/A, and supporting Jungkook in particular. Yoongi bought out Jungkook’s fansign tickets more than once in those early days. 

He bought stacks of N/A CDs, Jungkook posters and tickets for different concerts and events. Yoongi would even pick up additional work before N/A comebacks and tours so he could afford tickets to multiple concerts.

Jungkook couldn’t have missed Yoongi, certainly not in the band’s early promotions. Yoongi had been a little angry that he was one of Jungkook’s only supporters, certainly the singer’s most vocal supporter.

Yoongi wasn’t much. Jungkook deserved more.

Everytime Yoongi met Jungkook at a fansigning event, Jungkook would blush and struggle to meet his eye.

Yoongi didn’t blame him. Here was this old, scruffy guy showing up to events and telling the singer how amazing he was, how he deserved the world, how he’d work hard to make sure others understood Jungkook’s talent and hard-work.

But Yoongi kept going because Jungkook deserved it. Besides, Jungkook might remember his weird fan Yoongi, but he didn’t really know Yoongi. He didn’t really care about Yoongi.

Finally, finally, after a year and a half of hard work, both from N/A and from Navies, their fanbase, the group was gaining popularity and respect in the industry.

Yoongi was farther from Jungkook than ever before.

It hurt, but it was right, it was what he wanted.

“Yoongi-oppa.”

He broke out of his trance to look over, well up, at Yuna. She smiled. It was a pretty, slightly sad smile. Maybe he was little more transparent than he thought.

“Will you come with us to get breakfast? We’ll pay for your coffee and you can yell at any creepy men who leer at us.”

Yoongi snorted.

“Of course I’ll go with you, but what is this about you buying oppa’s drink? I know I’m not made of money, but at least give me some dignity and let me pay for myself and you, Yuna.”

There was a squawk next to him.

“Oppaaaaaa, why are you just paying for Yuna’s drink?” Ryujin pouted.

Yoongi very purposely looked away. He would not give in to her ageyo.

“Because Yuna is the only one with the taste to cheer for Jeon Jungkook.”

Yoongi walked with the girls to a nearby cafe and hoped Jungkook’s performance was going well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is Jungkook's point of view

The performance went well, the interview not quite as well, but Jungkook couldn’t complain. No one had asked him too many questions, even though there was still the boring conversation of who was the maknae of the group since N/A had members from the same year.

(It was Yugyeom, 110 percent Yugyeom, but officially the members said they took turns being the maknae because that sounded cuter, or something like that. Jungkook hadn’t paid enough attention in that meeting with a marketing team.)

There were also pointed questions about their sister group, GFriend. New Age’s debut was followed just six months later by GFriend. Jungkook still isn’t sure why, since most of GFriend’s members trained at least a year longer than New Age members.

Unlike other idol companies, BM Entertainment saw dating rumors as a way to get even more attention on their idols, similarly to how it viewed benign dating rumors about their actors, models and dancers.

So N/A and GFriend were often put together for family concerts, holiday projects and special features.

Jungkook thought it was funny, in that way where it wasn’t really funny, that commentators often guessed who in each group was dating. They never got it right, but that wasn’t surprising when the only true couple in either group was Sowon and Eunha.

The most popular pair with their fans and commentators was DK and Yuju. The two often bickered like siblings, which must mean they were childhood friends destined to be sweethearts. They both found it annoying, and Jungkook wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that the pair’s theatrics hid Mingyu’s obvious pining for Yuju.

Well, it was obvious if you really knew Mingyu.

But the girls weren’t there today, so it was easy to push the questions off with stories about how well all the girls cooked when they had family dinners for both groups and their personal staff members.

BamBam almost went too far in describing the juicy cheeseburgers one of the girls had made him for a birthday treat, but luckily Jaehyun reeled him in.

“Ya, Jungkook, your number one fan was here today!”

Jungkook looked over at Yugyeom through the mirror in their changing room. As expected, his bandmate wore a shiteatting grin.

BamBam and DK were giggling next to him while changing out of their stage pants. Jungkook could feel his face turn red. He turned to push DK over, but gravity took care of that for him when DK missed the leg hole of his jeans.

Karma.

“Leave Jungkookie alone, it's good he has dedicated fans, especially ones who’ve been there since the beginning,” Jaehyun said.

Yugyeom rolled his eyes and shrugged out to the white button down he’d worn on stage.

“Come on Jaehyun, you know what I mean. This fan is different.”

Jungkook looked down at his shoes and tried to ignore Yugyeom.

DK crawled over to Jungkook from his place on the floor, jeans only half pulled up his legs. He smiled and laid his head on Jungkook’s thigh.

“Jungkookie, we only tease you about your crush because it is too heartless to tease Mingyu about Yuju,” DK said quietly, so only Jungkook could hear. “And if we brought up Jackson around BamBam and Yugyeom, Yugyeom would turn murderous. We’d have to find a new member if Yugyeom killed Jackson and went to prison. Two, if he decided to take out BamBam too.”

Jungkook and DK giggled and refused to tell BamBam what was so funny.

Leaving Music Bank wasn’t as big of a production as the arrival, so they were able to all clamber into their vehicles and head back to the studio for a quick lunch before dance practice.

Jaehyun was right, Jungkook thought during the ride back to the studio.

He should be grateful for all his early fans who stuck around, who bought their CDs and their merch.

But, well, Yugyeom was right too, in a way.

Yoongi was a little overwhelming.

Jungkook remembered meeting Yoongi in the park right before one of their first shows. BM Entertainment had been willing to debut an idol group, but they weren’t willing to put too much money into the group, not at first.

This meant New Age promoted and performed a series of free mini-concerts in their first six months after their debut.

Yoongi had looked tired and sad and lovely in rumpled office wear when Jungkook got up the courage to approach the older man. He isn’t sure what he actually said, but it must have worked because Yoongi went to the concert. And the next one, and the next one, always cheering specifically for Jungkook.

Jungkook is shy and introverted now, but it was worse when he was 19, freshly debuted and determined to hide behind his other members, sometimes literally.

He loved to sing and dance, and the best way to do that all the time was to become an idol, but he wasn’t really excited about all the attention.

Jungkook learned to like performing on stage, then he began to love it, but it was still hard to break out of his awkward shell and put himself out there to potential fans.

No one hated him, or petitioned for him to leave the group, but few people bought his merch or stayed around after their concerts to interact with Jungkook.

Until Yoongi.

Jungkook had his own dedicated group of followers now, but Yoongi would always be special. And it was nice that Yoongi seemed to be a recognized entity in the N/A fan community too. Well, it was mostly nice. Some people would make nasty comments about a grown man showing so much attention to a group obviously marketed to teenage girls. But others, usually long-time fans, shared stories about Yoongi watching out for younger fans at events and still setting clear boundaries, giving his KakaoTalk information to parents and elder siblings to contact in case something went wrong at a concert or event while only interacting with younger fans on more public message boards.

“Besides, if you’ve seen the way Yoongi-samcheon reacts anytime he sees Jungkook, you’d know he only has eyes of one,” one fan had written.

That comment had burned into Jungkook’s mind and he felt warm, happy and embarrassed whenever Jungkook remembered it.

If that was true, if Yoongi really did like Jungkook as more than an idol, then maybe it was okay that Jungkook liked Yoongi as more than a fan.


	3. Chapter 3

Yoongi was trying to commune with the couch after a long day working shifts at both jobs when Seokjin, his former roommate, let himself into Yoongi’s apartment. It wasn’t even the same apartment they’d shared for three years. Yoongi still didn’t know what possessed him to give Jin a key.

He sighed and waited for the inevitable.

“Yoongi-ah!! This kitchen is bare! How am I supposed to feed anyone with kimchi and soy sauce?”

Yoongi wriggled around on the couch until he faced the kitchen.

“We’re Korean hyung, isn’t that enough?”

Jin tutted and put his hands on his waist.

“You don’t even have rice or ramyeon. Have you been eating?”

Yoongi pouted his lips and made his eyes wide. Jin usually fell for that shit.

“I get leftovers at the restaurant, so I keep putting off groceries.”

Jin’s (monstrously large) shoulders fell and he sighed.

“You can’t just live off cheap takeout Yoongi, even if the takeout is free.”

Yoongi pouted but nodded. He didn’t want to fight with Jin, especially since he hadn’t been totally truthful.

He had been eating leftovers from the restaurant where he worked as a delivery driver, but this equaled one meal a day at most.

He couldn’t afford much more. Between an equipment upgrade and N/A’s new EP, he was broke until his next check. Yoongi had budgeted for both expenses, but then his landlord demanded money to repair Yoongi’s door.

If Yoongi let any of that information slip to Seokjin, his friend would throw a small fit then demand Yoongi move in with a friend.

Yoongi could not crash on the couch at Namjoon and Seokjin’s place. He’d likely try to strangle Namjoon in the first week. And Yoongi would drive Hoseok crazy, even if Yoongi stayed there temporarily.

So, he’d deal. His clothes were big enough Yoongi looked skeltal even when he was eating right, no one would notice.

Seokjin sighed again and called Namjoon, asking his boyfriend to pick up some basic supplies before heading over to Yoongi’s place.

It made Yoongi a little uncomfortable to accept help from his friends. But, if it came from Seokjin, it didn’t hurt quite as much.

Seokjin had become Yoongi’s roommate their first year in college. Both of them needed the silence of their dorm room after a stressful day of classes, leading them to become perfect roommates even before they’d become friends.

They’d lived with each other throughout college and for the next two years after they’d both graduated. Yoongi was surprised they’d stayed together for so long because he’d expected Seokjin and Namjoon to move in together when Namjoon graduated.

But Yoongi had also thought they’d get together much earlier than they did.

Yoongi had fulfilled the painfully awkward roll of queer sensei for Namjoon and Seokjin. For Jin, he knew he was attracted to men long before he came to college and it terrified him.

Namjoon, of course, thought he was just an amazing ally who was comfortable with his own sexuality.

And even after they figured themselves out, it took another two years of dancing around one another before Jin finally asked Namjoon on a date.

Hoseok and Kihyun would laugh and laugh while Yoongi complained about Seokjin and Namjoon awkward flirting and embarrassing questions. So it wasn’t too hard for Yoongi to convince himself that he deserved a little babying from his hyung.

Yoongi was pulled from his thoughts when his front door banged loudly against the wall.

“Hyung!!!”

Right.

He’d given Hoseok a key too.

“Ah, I mean hyungs! Want me to help with anything Jin?”

Yoongi saw Seokjin flick his hand toward Yoongi’s small living room.

“Go bother Yoongi for me. His fridge was literally empty.”

Yoongi saw Hoseok’s heart-shaped smile flip over into a triangle frown. He groaned. 

“Seok-ah, it isn’t my fault, I didn’t have time to get groceries.”

Seokjin snorted and Hoseok raised a single eyebrow.

“If Hoseok is here already, we won’t have time to cook dinner by the time Joon gets here. I’ll order delivery. You both clear off the coffee table.”

Yoongi and Hoseok got to work while Jin called in their order.

Yoongi’s apartment was much smaller than Jin and Joon’s but Yoongi had a bigger television. It was actually a large flatscreen Jin had bought with his first check after graduation. But Joon had argued they shouldn’t have any kind of TV in their house when they decided to get a place together. After a very, very tense week the couple had compromised and bought a smaller television and left Seokjin’s baby with Yoongi.

To date, it was the couple’s biggest fight. Yoongi would not have put up with them if they regularly added that kind of stress in his life.

Hoseok also had a bigger place than Yoongi, but he lived with a roommate who was fucking awful, so that was no-go as well.

“Honies, I’m home!”

Namjoon also banged the door against the wall, but since his arms were filled with groceries, Yoongi decided he didn’t mind.

Yoongi got up and headed to his kitchen to help put food away.

Ah good, Namjoon really had just bought essentials. Snacks and beer for tonight, some ramyeon, rice and eggs.

“Thank you Joon-ah, you didn’t have to grab anything for me but I appreciate it.”

Joon smiled, dimples on full display.

“Of course hyung. Least I could do, especially since you agreed to watch an idol group that isn’t N/A.”

Yoongi groaned and walked back to the living room.

Tonight’s celebration was for Joon. He’d gotten a lucky break and one of his Soundcloud songs got attention from a producer at Songbird. It was one of Namjoon’s few sappy numbers he’d written for Seokjin. The producer had liked the melody, both the music and the lyrics, and asked if they could bring Namjoon on as an independent producer for the number.

Yoongi had heard the original, as well as some of the early edits on the song. He thought it was watered down of the original emotion, but Namjoon had pushed back enough so while it might be more of an upbeat pop song compared to Joon’s original, it was still good overall.

It helped that the producer who contacted Joon worked mainly with GFriend, who was performing Joon’s song tonight, instead of New Age.

New Age’s sister group was also talented and they had their own sound. It frustrated Yoongi that more of their music seemed to compliment the girls and bring out their natural abilities compared to New Age, who shined often despite their music’s production, not because of it.

Chicken and even more beer arrived right before the broadcast began.

It was good, even better than the last edits Yoongi had heard. He could tell Joon, and maybe another of the few talented producers at Songbird, had taken more control over the song’s direction. GFriend was great, unsurprisingly.

Yoongi looked over to Seokjin and Namjoon, both grinning with tears in their eyes.Yoongi leaned into Namjoon’s other side.

“Do you want to know an idol secret?”

Namjoon cocked his head to the side and nodded, wiping his eyes.

“See Yerin?”

Yoongi pointed to the lead dancer. Namjoon nodded.

“When the girls don’t like a song, she’s their tell. She makes a weird half-smile, half-grimace.”

Yoongi had seen them perform live at family concerts with New Age, and Yerin was a lot of things, but she wasn't an actress. At least not when it came to GFriend's music. If she didn’t like it, there was a small frown stuck in the corner of her mouth everytime they performed that number.

But now, singing Joon’s song about only wanting one, one, one, one to love, Yerin was smiling and happy.

“Oh, so..” Joon blinked a couple times. Yoongi knew Joon hadn’t been there for any of the recordings, he’d never interacted with the members.

Yoongi felt tears come to his own eyes.

“Yea Joon, they really, really like it. Not just the producers.”

They both started laughing and crying, hugging each other with Seokjin and Hoseok hugging them as well.

“Ya know, we’ve got a Halloween show in three months,” Hoseok said, after an appropriate amount of time was spent hugging and crying. “We could do the dance on stage, as like, a Halloween treat!”

Yoongi groaned. Namjoon looked horrified.

“There is no fucking way Seok-ah.”

But Hoseok had this look on his face. Yoongi groaned and threw his head against the back of the couch. Guess he was learning a girls’ group dance.


	4. Chapter 4

Jungkook really liked his band mates. They were friends, practically family at this point. But they all needed some time away from one another. Whether it was family members, an all night internet cafe or the apartments of their other friends.

For Jungkook, he went to see Jimin and Tae.

It probably didn’t make sense, escaping the noise and drama of the dorm at the home of BM Entertainment’s problem children. But they knew exactly how to take care of him, and each other.

“Food’s done!”

Jimin yelled from the kitchen.

“Just a minute Jimin-ssi, I gotta finish beating Tae’s ass!” Jungkook yelled back. He turned his attention back to the game, cackling as Widowmaker took out Taehyung’s Genji.

Taehyung whined while Jungkook continued to laugh.

“Come on, you two, I had to call my mom to make sure I got this right, so you too better eat it while it’s hot!”

They both headed to the kitchen, bypassing the dining room table in order to grab sides.

“I will exchange one kiss for one jar of kimchi, please,” Taehyung said.

Jungkook looked up from the two plates of greens to see Jimin beam at Taehyung before getting on his tiptoes to kiss Taehyung.

Jungkook snickered.

Jimin turned to Jungkook with a pout.

“I’m glad my hyungs are able to make their relationship work, despite the differences in altitude.”

Jimin squaked while Taehyung tried holding in his laugh.

Eventually all three made it back to the dining room along with their dinner.

Jungkook ate happily and let the voices of his two best friends pass over him.

They knew Jungkook well enough to know that's what he would prefer after the day he’d had.

Instead, Taehyung complained about the idiot photographer at his shoot. Someone young and cocky who assumed Taehyung would need a lot of direction, that he’d need to be controlled.

Taehyung rolled his eyes describing how he was told to sit perfectly still for over 30 minutes in an awkward pose.

“I’m not a diva on set, I’ve shot swimwear on a snowy mountain, I can deal with discomfort for a good shot. But I know when something looks good on me, and the clothes did not look good. I was all scrunched up! You couldn’t even see the statement sweater!”

Jimin patted Tae’s hand.

“Once you get your degree, you’ll never be like that to your subjects.”

Taehyung grumbled and took another bite of food.

Tae had been discovered by BM Entertainment as a model about a year before Jungkook came to Seoul. During his rise to relative fame, he’d also asked about whether he could continue pursuing singing. Tae wasn’t the only non-idol with BM could sing, though the talent level varied, which led to the company creating Songbird.

Taehyung had since put out a few very successful ballads and OST. Jungkook had asked Taehyung once why he hadn’t pursued music.

Taehyung had given Jungkook a sad smile and said he’s pretty sure he would have needed a team, other people to fight for, but he hadn’t found that many people in life he loved enough for that, none outside of his family, Jimin and Jungkook.

“Enough about my shitty day, how about you? How did refersal go?”

Jimin smiled and looked up, as if running back through his rehearsal in his head.

“It was good. Our next performance isn’t really contemporary dance, it's one of those learning-focused sessions, you know? We’re practicing salsa and swing right now, trying to decide which fits better with our current crew.”

Taehyung asked how the two are different. Jimin dove into the explanation and Jungkook half listened while enjoying his food.

Jimin was a contemporary dancer, one of the members of the Korean National Contemporary Dance Company. The company was fairly new for a dance company. Jimin had done some modeling and background dancing under BM when he first came to Seoul in order to join the company. The national endowment had increased since then so the dancers were actually paid a living wage, but Jimin still modeled at times. He admitted that he liked the attention, and it was interesting to find new forms of expression for his body.

“So, Jungkookie, do you want to talk about your day? Or was it a whole mess?”

Jungkook groaned and tipped his head back on his chair. The Music Bank performance and interview was a week ago and N/A had been practicing since then for a small family concert event. Practice had been fine, spending more time with GFriend was always nice, and Jungkook certainly preferred spending time with their choreo team over New Age’s production team.

But…

“They, ah, they’re talking about putting me on Masked Singer,” Jungkook said, avoid his hyungs’ eyes.

“Wah! Jungkookie!” “You would be so, so good, do you know what you’ll be yet?” “Ooo, maybe he’ll be a bee!”

Jungkook tried not to squirm in his seat.

“I- I don’t, ah, know if I wanna do it.”

Jimin and Taehyung stopped talking and stared at him.

“Jungkook, this is like the perfect promotion for you. You get to sing, maybe dance, all while wearing a mask.”

Taehyung vigorously nodded his head in agreement with his boyfriend. Jungkook whined in response.

“But-”

“I think I know why they want you Jungkookie, and it isn’t because you’re shy.”

Jungkook knew this was a trap. Well, maybe a trap. That was the voice Tae used when he thought he was being smarter about something than the other people in the conversation.

Jungkook looked over at the model anyway. There was a sly grin on Tae’s face.

“Your fans have been trying to petition for you to get on the show for like, ever. Especially one fan in particular.”

Jungkook felt his face and ears heat. He’d made a mistake. He’d made a mistake well over a year ago when he got drunk, something he rarely did, and cried to his hyungs about his pretty, pretty,older, male fan with the deep voice and the cute lips and the strong hands.

Well fuck.

“Well fuck.” Jungkook said then let his head fall to the table and sighed.

Of course Yoongi would lead petitions to get Jungkook on Masked SInger, because Jimin was also right. Jungkook loved being on stage, he loved performing, but he got nervous when he was doing it alone, with people judging him. Its why he’d never asked for a solo song, instead doing subunit numbers. But under a mask, well… It probably wouldn’t be so bad.

And Yoongi knew that. Yoongi knew Jungkook, he really did.

Jungkook sighed again.

“I’ll, I’ll tell management I’m interested.”

Taehyung and Jimin both cheered.

“Alright, this calls for a living room dance party, dishes in the sink, then let’s do this!” Jimin yelled.

Jungkook laughed and grabbed his own plate as well as some from the side dishes. A few minutes later he was dancing along to a Girls Generation song, giggling and enjoying his two closest friends.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, another chapter without any interaction between Jungkook and Yoongi.

Yoongi smelled like fried chicken and japchae, but there wasn’t much he could do about it 45 minutes before call time.

He’d finished his six-hour shift at the restaurant at 10:30 p.m., a pretty early night for him, then changed and washed his face in the tiny employee restroom. He’d attempted to wipe his neck and arms down with wet paper towels and re-applied his deodorant, but the smell of cheap delivery food still clung to his hair.

Yoongi growled and switched caps from the bright red and yellow cap he wore while making deliveries to a black hat he wore backwards with a mask. He carefully put in his cheap headphones and started his favorite hip-hop mix on his ancient iPhone. Alight, time to be Suga.

Then he ran out the back of the restaurant, hopped on his moped and headed toward Hongdae.

Before he’d increased his hours at both his jobs from barely part-time to almost full-time, Yoongi had been the first to arrive for a set at their regular joint. He’d help the sound engineers set up mics and talk shop with whatever DJ was working the soundboard before the live acts.

Now Yoongi often made it just before they went on stage.

It was harder to slip into his persona; Suga, underground rapper and producer, instead of Min Yoongi, perpetual part-timer and exhausted introvert. It also meant Namjoon and Hoseok had to do more of the glad-handing and showboating necessary to remain relevant in the underground scene.

Idol music to underground, it was really all the same. Every music scene had gatekeepers, and if they didn’t like you, no one would hear you.

Their little trio already had a limited group of dive bars and semi-legal concert halls that would let them perform since Yoongi blatantly rapped about getting with guys and girls and Namjoon had a boyfriend. Hoseok had once suggested they try finding more places to perform in Itaewon, but the music they performed didn’t really fit the club scene.

Yoongi broke a few traffic laws, but he made it that night’s venue with 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, they performed there regularly, so Yoongi could park his busted up moped in the employee lot and slip in the back door without any trouble.

“Suga! Hey man, haven’t seen you around since your last performance!”

Yoongi smiled at Minsoo, the sound guy. This particular venue was a shitshow, but Minsoo was Yoongi’s favorite tech in Hongdae. Indie rock or punk shows were always better here than at any of the other shit dive bars in Hongdae because Minsoo was the best.

“Hey man, who’ve you been? Anybody spill their beer on a mic tonight?”

Minsoo groaned and Yoongi laughed before slipping into the ready room.

Namjoon and Hoseok are just inside the door.

“Hey man, started to get worried they wouldn’t let you off in time!”

Yoongi accepted light side hugs from both his friends. They knew better than to give him a full hug after he pulled a long shift.

“RM, J-Hope, Suga! You guys are on!”

Hoseok handed Yoongi his mic, relaying Minsoo’s notes about the reverb the tech had been fighting all night. Another reason Minsoo was Yoongi’s favorite.

Yoongi was the last out of the room, through the dark hallway and up the steps to the stage. He tried to force himself into the right mindset. The music on the way over helped, but he knew Suga wouldn’t click into place until he looked out at the crowd.

He walked on stage, closed his eyes and waited for the night’s MC to introduce them.

“....and Suga!”

Yoongi opened his eyes. In front of him the crowd screamed and behind him large speakers blasted out the beat he’d created.

This was it, this is why he worked so hard, this is why he gave up sleep and food. And it was so, so worth it.

Namjoon took his stance at the center of the stage and opened their set with his verse, Hoseok prowling the stage around them. Yoongi bobbed his head and walked toward Namjoon for his verse. Namjoon got quieter once Yoongi reached his side, both of them slowly lowering until they were crouching at the edge of the stage, Hoseok joining them at Namjoon’s other side.

When Namjoon reached a whisper, all three screamed into their mics “but I guess you can’t sell out if no one wants to pay!”

They’d written the song about two years ago and it was still one of their most popular tracks on their shared Soundcloud. Namjoon had gotten some shit from other people in the underground scene about producing for music companies. It had led to some talk about Hoseok’s work as a choreographer and how Namjoon should be happy to live off his boyfriend, since he’d decided to play the woman in his relationship.

Yoongi had been furious when these so-called underground music leaders had started to compare Suga’s “disinterest in fake idol music bullshit” to RM and J-Hope’s “willingness to bitch themselves out to music companies.”

He’d written a rap that night calling out each of the rappers and DJs who had dared to post that bullshit then posted it with one of his own beats. RM and J-Hope had eventually written their own verses for the beat, and they started using it as their opening song.

The crowd screamed the line right along with them and Yoongi had to stop himself from laughing so he could rap his verse.

The entire performance was amazing. It wasn’t their largest crowd, but they knew most of their music and played along with the weird body roll contest Hoseok conducted during the brief delay when the sound board shorted out.

“Alright, we have Hongdae’s official second sexiest body roller! What you guys want to do next?”

Yoongi bit his lip and looked off stage to Minsoo. The tech held up both hands. Ten minutes and the new sound board would be in.

God, Yoongi loved that man. Too bad he was married with a baby on the way. Maybe his wife was also wildly competent at something and open to polyamory, and also willing to overlook Yoongi’s obsession with Jeon Jungkook.

“Suga, stop making heart eyes at the sound engineer, we’re doing the jegichagi song.”

Yoongi groaned. The jegichagi song was a dumb ploy to show off their ability to change flow in the middle of a song. It was really hard to do, but it never really came across right on stage so they’d ditched it.

“You still remember it?”

“Yea, yea, who is setting the beat?”

Namjoon pulled out his phone and pulled up a generic beat he’d made a few months ago. He then carefully set the phone and mic down with the phone speaker playing into the mic.

He grabbed Hoseok’s mic.

“We’ll pass the mics, now it's really like jegichagi.”

Hoseok laughed and the audience seemed confused. Fuck, they’d been having a really good night too.

Namjoon counted down above his head, so dramatic, then started the first verse. He rapped a few lines then “passed” to Hoseok, who pretended to juggle when he changed his flow four times before passing it to Yoongi.

THe first half of his verse was slow and melodic, more along the lines of a Soundcloud rapper, before he ‘passed’ it to Namjoon for a quick line, then took it back, rapping as fast as he could.

Once he was out of breath, he passed it back to Namjoon, who rapped the final verse just slightly slower than Yoongi, then dropped the flow every time he pretended to kick a jegi up in the air before pretending to kick it into the crowd for the last two lines.

The crowd didn’t exactly roar when they were done, but Yoongi was surprised that anyone in the audience cheered, it seemed some were more aware than others how difficult it was to change flows that much in one song. It was still the biggest applause the song had ever received.

Finally, Minsoo was back with the thumbs up. The sound board was back.

“Alright, we’re done with the gimmicks, back to the fucking show, you guys ready?” Yoongi yelled into his mic.

This time, the crowd did cheer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook and Yoongi!!!

Fansigns are the best and worst, in Jungkook’s opinion. New Age stylists flit around the member one last time before they head out to the stage. Jungkook feels a little silly in today’s outfit, but they’ve gotten popular enough that the stylists want them in different outfits for each of their five fansigns for New Age’s most recent EP.

A production assistant murmurs into their head set, then looks up and motions the boys forward.

“Hey Navies! How are you doing?”

Jaehyun’s greeting is almost drowned out by the screaming crowd.

New Age walks onto the stage and takes their seats. At first, Jungkook is a little worried to find himself between Bambam and DK, but Yugyeom is at the other end of the table next to Jaehyun, so maybe they’ll make it through the event without some kind of incident.

Navies may think it's funny when Bambam and Yugyeom flirt and snipe with each other, but they don’t have to go back and live in the same dorm with the chaotic duo.

Jungkook lets the others speak, zoning out while he looks over the crowd he wonders….

There. He’s here. Jungkook wasn't sure if Yoongi would make it.

The older man is standing on the opposite side of the room where Jungkook sits. He’s wearing his regular uniform of a black cap, a large, black New Age sweatshirt and tight, ripped black jeans.

He seems to have attended with another Navie Jungkook regularly at events, though he’s pretty sure the other man is a fan of Jaehyun and Bambam.

Jungkook watches the pair talk back and forth for a minute. But then, Yoongi is looking back at him. He looks… concerned.

“-kook-ah.”

Jungkook blinks quickly, feeling like he’s been pulled back into his own body.

“Ah, yes Minghao?”

The8 purses his lips and raises a single eyebrow.

“I said you’d been keeping me up at night with your gaming, right Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook felt himself blush and laughed.

“It's not any worse than when you keep me up watching your dramas.”

Minghao pretends to be offended and the rest laugh, as does the audience.

Jungkook smiles and looks back at Yoongi. The fan has a small, pleased smile on his face.

Eventually, their staff begin to herd fans into a line to meet the members.

It seemed like Yoongi is closer to the front of the line, thankfully.

Fansigns are wonderful because Jungkook and the others get to actually talk one-on-one with their fans, even if it is only for a minute.

But Jungkook’s energy and his ability to connect with the person in front of him is always zapped long before the final fan moves through the line. He knows he isn’t impolite, but he’s sure that he seems distant and he worries that his not being extroverted is one of the reasons he’s one of the less popular members.

He doesn’t want to be in that state when he gets to Yoongi.

It wouldn’t be the first time. During their last comeback for their last full album, Yoongi had been one of the last 25 fans in the line at a fansign.

Jungkook had a smile on his face, but when he looked across the table at Yoongi’s happy, then worried face, it cracked.

Jungkook is sure his smile turned to more of a grimace. He felt the tears gather in his eyes.

“I”m sorry Yoongi-ssi, I should-”

“Yah, Jungkook-ssi,” Yoongi had said, gently placing a hand over Jungkook’s on the table. “It's okay to be overwhelmed. You’ve done so well today, and you are close to the end. Here, hold my hand. Take a second for yourself, alright? They won’t get too pushy with a fan if you’re allowing them to hold your hand.”

Jungkook isn’t sure he would have made it through the rest of the day without Yoongi’s kindness, but he’d felt awful later for ruining Yoongi’s fansigning. Who knows how many CDs the man had bought just to see Jungkook and his members?

This time would be different.

Jungkook had admittedly been more worn down in general by their last comeback, and was much better prepared for a whole day of socializing with strangers.

He was ready to see Yoongi.

Jungkook let himself get a little lost in talking with each fan. He wasn’t as popular as some of the other members, but that was okay. Their company didn’t do favorite member voting or anything like that, and most Navies were still kind, still affectionate with all seven members.

Some asked him about his other members, or about Tae and Jimin since their close friendship was well-known. He’d shared some of his doodles in a V-Live earlier in the month, so some fans praised his drawings, leaving Jungkook blushing and stuttering.

“Jungkook-oppa, Yuna wanted us to tell you that she loves, loves, loves your cute bunny doodle, and she’s proud of how hard you worked on ‘Sweet Summer’.” 

The girl in front of Jungkook frowned and puffed out her cheeks. 

“She said she needed to focus on her studies, so she’s only trying for one fansign this comeback.”

There were a few groups of “super Navies” as DK called them who came to nearly every event. Jungkook was pretty sure this girl was one of the ones who often hung around Yoongi at events.

Jungkook smiled at the girl.

“Of course! Studies must come first!”

The girl smiled.

“I liked your bunny too, it looked just like you oppa!”

Jungkook felt himself blush and the Navie, who was probably five years younger than him, cooed.

She moved on to The8 and Jungkook greeted the next fan, another girl in that same group of Navies.

“Ah, Jungkookie-oppa! Here, I brought this for you, from Yuna!”

Jungkook hadn’t been given any kind of head band yet, but he should have known it would happen eventually. They always hurt by the end of the day.

Instead, she pulled out a small, pretty flower crown.

Thank god. Maybe he should have found the flower crowns emasculating, but they didn’t hurt his head like some of the ear headbands.

“Ah, mm, I’ll put it on? Tell me if it’s straight?”

The girl beamed and nodded. He put on the crown and she clapped.

“Perfect!”

The girl shook Jungkook’s hand, then also moved on to The8 with a squeal.

Jungkook’s breath caught. Just one more person until Yoongi.

“Hello Jungkook-ah, you worked so hard and did so well on this EP.”

Jungkook forced himself to focus on the Navie in front of him. It was Yoongi’s friend, Jungkook was pretty sure he’d heard Yoongi call him Ten?

“Ah, thank you, I will keep working hard for Navies,” Jungkook said while shaking the man’s hand.

Ten glanced to his left, where Yoongi was waiting his turn, then leaned closer to Jungkook.

“I think my friend here has missed you very much Jungkookie-ah.”

Jungkook bit his lip so he wouldn’t make a sound.

He was sure his face was bright red. He didn’t even notice when Yoongi’s friend moved on to Minghao.

He was too busy staring at Yoongi.

Finally, he was here in front of Jungkook. Yoongi smiled at him, small and pleased. Jungkook felt his heart flip inside his chest. He swallowed. He felt frozen.

“Jungkook-ah, your vocals tied the entire EP together. Your voice, the way it grew stronger throughout the five tracks, was beautiful. I loved the color of your voice in the first and last song especially. In ‘Sweet Summer’, it is hard to give that kind of emotion to such a soft, light, verse. But you did so well.”

Jungkook blinked twice. This was another thing about Yoongi. Jungkook always felt like he learned something when Yoongi talked to Jungkook about his own singing. Even now, after two years in the industry and four years of vocal lessons, Jungkook strived for Yoongi’s opinion.

“I,I-ah, I promise to perform them well, and ah, yea…”

Jungkook wanted to say he’d perform well and think of Yoongi, but that was too much.

Yoongi’s small smile grew, just a bit, and Jungkook couldn’t breath.

He reached forward to shake Jungkook’s hand. Jungkook shyly moved his own hand forward.

“Ah, here!”

There was another girl behind Yoongi. Jungkook hadn’t noticed her until she plopped a pink flower crown onto Yoongi’s head.

It matched the one Jungkook was wearing. They matched. Jungkook would probably never breathe again. From somewhere further down the table, Jungkook saw the flash of a camera phone.

Yoongi’s face was bright red and Jungkook was positive he was in the same condition. He could feel the heat in his cheeks.

“I, ah, yes,” Yoongi coughed in his hand, which he’d pulled away from Jungkook. No, not yet, it’s okay, Jungkook wanted to say.

But it was too hard. Jungkook was still trying to learn how to breathe.

“Well, ah, thank you for your hard work Jungkook-ah.”

Then Yoongi smiled again, obviously embarrassed, and moved on. Jungkook started ahead unseeing, until the girl who’d put the flower crown on Yoongi’s head patted his hand.

“It’s okay Jungkookie-oppa, I think you might need a minute.”

Jungkook resisted the urge to hit his head on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jungkook!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi's late lunch break

Yoongi was ready for his break. The coffee shop had just gotten through the afternoon rush and he still hadn’t eaten lunch. Not that lunch would be anything special. He’d packed two small containers, one with kimchi and the other with rolled omelet. He planned on swiping one of the pastries as well, whatever hadn’t been selling that day.

Yoongi was imagining the taste of Seokjin’s homemade kimchi as he rang out the last customer in line.

Then the bell over the door rang.

He was going to scream. Yoongi plastered on what was left of his customer service smile and turned to the door to welcome their new customer.

It was Hoseok. Yoongi pouted.

“You showed up right before my break. Now I have to wait until I finish your shit.”

Hoseok smiled and rolled his eyes.

“Maybe I came to hang out over your break.”

Yoongi smiled and rang up Hoseok’s usual order, swiped Hoseok’s card, then quickly made the drink before clocking out.

“I”m taking my break! I’ll be out back!”

Yoongi yelled to his manager in the back of the house, then grabbed a pastry and led Hoseok through the small hallway where employees kept their jackets, bags and food in a tiny employee fridge.

The coffee shop was part of a large chain. The food was fine, the coffee was fine, the ambiance was fine but nothing was really great. Luckily, the manager at this particular location was pretty relaxed and tried her best to treat people right when it came to scheduling, free food for employees and minor uniform violations.

But they still weren’t allowed to eat in the dining area. So employees ate in the alley, sitting on one of ancient folder metal chairs or wooden crates that had been collected over the past few years.

Hoseok pulled out a screeching metal chair for himself while Yoongi situated two crates to act as a makeshift chair and table.

“So, that group you like, they just released an EP and they're gonna put out a new album in like, six months right?”

Yoongi shoveled kimchi in his mouth while nodding.

Hoseok made a face. His fault for wanting to have a conversation during Yoongi’s break.

“Are you gonna pick up another job again, to save up for merch, concert tickets, all that shit?”

If it hadn’t been Hoseok saying it, and in that tone, truly asking and not judging, Yoongi would have gotten defensive, angry.

But, that was Hoseok’s ‘I’m worried about your answer’ voice. Yoongi hated that voice.

He looked down at his meager lunch and nodded.

Hoseok sighed and took a big swig of his drink. Yoongi kept eating, waiting for more.

“You know what I’m gonna say. And you know it isn’t because you’re a fanboy, like you shouldn’t spend your money on things you enjoy. But Yoongs.”

Hoseok leaned forward, face concerned.

“You can’t work yourself so hard you get sick, or skimp on meals to save money. Not for New Age, and not for Suga.”

Yoongi stopped eating. He wasn’t really convinced when Hoseok said he was fine with Yoongi spending his money on N/A. But, he’d brought Yoongi’s music into this too.

Hoseok smiled. It was beautiful, but sad.

“You’re the one who told me that, when I graduated and couldn’t decide if I should just wait around for a job doing choreo, or if I should look for office positions. You’re the one who told me I have to create and I have to eat.”

Hoseok leaned forward, tipping his head to Yoongi’s paltry lunch.

“I’m worried you aren’t eating. And I know you were in a long slump with your music before New Age, but you need to make sure you don’t support them at the expense of your own health.”

Yoongi wanted to scoff, roll his eyes, maybe make a joke.

But it wouldn’t be right to treat Hoseok’s concern like that.

Yoongi shoved more kimchi in his mouth, giving himself time to think. Hoseok sipped his rink and waited.

“How about, how about I try to get my hours first, here and at the delivery place. Adding hours will still be a lot, but I won’t have to run to another place on top of here, and I’ll still only juggle two work schedules. But, Hoseok…”

Yoongi finally looked up at his friend.

“I know I usually send all my pre-comeback savings on New Age, but I’ve got, like, 46,000 won in my bank account. And I just found out they're raising my rent. If I never bought New Age merch ever again, never went to another concert, I’d still have to do something.”

Yoongi had tried to ignore just how close he was to the edge, focusing on his music and New Age to escape his fucking terrifying reality.

“I’ve-” Yoongi sniffed, moved the rolled omelet around in its container. “I’ve already cut back on the merch anyway. I only got into the last fansign cause Ten managed to get two tickets. I only bought, like six CDs. I mean, you work two part-time jobs too, and you live in this fucking city too, you know how hard it is, how fucking expensive everything is.”

Yoongi shoved rolled omelet in his mouth.

Hoseok might have two part-time jobs, but his situation was very different. When he’d graduated, he’d taken a part-time secretarial job in a large office building, then managed to get a job at a local studio teaching classes, mostly to housewives and little kids. Both jobs had steady schedules and both paid better than what Yoongi made.

That didn’t mean it was easy for Hoseok. He still had to buy fancier work clothes for his office job, some equipment to do his part in producing their music, and he regularly attended dance workshops.

There was a reason Hoseok still lived with his asshole roommate.

Hoseok smiled again, the same beautiful sad smile, and nodded.

“So, how was the fansign?”

Yoongi paused again, rolled omelet halfway to his mouth.

“Fine. It was fine, got to tell Jungkook what I like from the new EP."

Hoseok smirked and nodded then sipped his drink, maintaining eye contact with Yoongi.

Yoongi sighed.

“Ten already sent you the flower crown picture, didn’t he.”

Hoseok threw his head back and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, back to individual chapters without much direct interaction between Jungkook and Yoongi. I've got some more individual character development/ side character introductions before we get back to our boys.  
> I did warn that its a slow burn.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is a little short.

Jungkook thinks there are too many things in his life that he loves and hates in equal measure. But maybe, maybe that’s just being an adult. Maybe as you get older, you get better at remembering all the negative things, all the bad possibilities and experiences associated with the things you love.

People talk about the death of innocence as like, when a person realizes people are bad, but maybe it's when you start realizing even things you like can be exhausting.

Or maybe Jungkook is just an introvert forced to sit in front of roughly 50 screaming audience members answering invasive questions with the other members of New Age and their sister group.

An elbow bigs into Jungkook’s side, bringing him back to whatever conversation the hosts are now having with Jaehyun and Sowon. He gives DK a panicked look.

Seokmin just smiles back.

Good, no one asked him a question or anything like that. Jungkook allows his shoulders to fall, but tries to pay attention.

He still thinks it is odd their company has New Age and GFriend hold any promotional events together. Maybe it is because Songbird is such a young company, even if BM Entertainment is part of the media establishment. He does think it has diluted the, what do they call them, is it ‘shippers’, because there are too many combinations for people to choose from. At least, that’s what Seokmin said, and he pays much more attention to the weird fandom things than the rest of them.

He’s claimed more than once that if he wanted to go back to school, he could easily get a degree in sociology and just write about all the weird things fans, idols and companies do.

Shit, Jungkook was drifting again.

“DK, did you watch Yuju’s performance on Masked Singer three weeks ago?”

Jungkook saw Seokmin’s jaw clench. He forced himself not to look at Mingyu seated further down the table.

DK smiled.

“We had a late practice that day, so I didn’t watch until later with the rest of the members. We all thought Yuju-ah performed well.”

One host, the man with glasses, leaned back and clicked her tongue.

“So Yuju didn’t tell you ahead of the program that you should watch?”

Seokmin’s smile became forced.

“Of course not! Yuju isn’t one to ruin a surprise.”

The host just hummed and folded his arms.

Jungkook hated all of this. Why couldn’t they just have friends? Why did they have to come on this shows and have people pick at them?

He was wrong before. There wasn’t anything he liked about coming on this shows. Except spending time backstage with GFriend, but that might happen at the company cafeteria, or during training if the girls decided to cook a meal for them.

And he didn’t need to be on some dumb show just to play games with the other members, or to see some of their fans. Plus, there were too many creepy fans at television shows, ones who paid producers to sneak in and see different idols and actors for clout, not because they actually care about the show guests.

“What about you Jungkook, what is your favorite food GFriend members have made you boys?”

Shit, he was spacing off again.

Jungkook felt his cheeks warm. It was the older lady host, who looked like Yugyeom’s mom, asking the question.

“Ah, well, they are all good cooks, but Eunha is good at everything. Last time they cooked for us, she taught me and The8 how to make yaki mandu.”

That had been a fun afternoon. Both bands and their managers had taken over the company kitchen to celebrate both group’s work on their upcoming releases; a full album for GFriend and New Age’s EP. 

BamBam had also taught them how to make one of his favorite foods from home and one of N/A’s managers made a huge pot of sundubu jjigae, along with what seemed to be hundreds of side dishes and a cake Yugyeom bough since “he can’t bake for shit”. 

Eunha had declared Jungkook and Minghao her ‘mandu servants’ then put both boys to work pinching and steaming the dumplings before frying them.

The lady host laughed.

“Who do you think is the worst cook, Jungkook?”

No, no, that was a bad question. Jungkook felt his eyes widening. There was no way the host would get away with asking more than one of them this question, why didn’t she ask someone else to be rude?

“Ah, they are all good cooks. But sometimes, SinB’s food is hard for me to eat because she likes spicy food. It is still good, but sometimes only SinB and BamBam can eat the side dishes SinB makes. She usually makes a spicy version and a mild version though, depending on the dish.”

The lady smiled, but she didn’t look pleased.

Jungkook hated this. He just wanted to shake hands with some fans and leave.

Finally, finally, finally, the interview portion was over. They’d already recorded their performances, so all that was left was thanking the crowd.

Jungkook felt a sense of relief. Until he noticed Yoongi’s friend in the crowd, and two of those younger girls who often stood by Yoongi and Ten at events. But no Yoongi.

It wasn’t like Yoongi had never missed an interview. A lot of fans skipped these kinds of events and Jungkook understood why. But, well, maybe seeing Yoongi in the crowd at the end of the day was the one reason he loved going on these dumb shows.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a long chapter to make up for the last short one, but it is mostly about Ten.

Seokjin had insisted on heading to Itaewon for their last night out before Yoongi would start picking up late night shifts.

Yoongi shouldn’t be surprised when he shows up to a little pub with a balcony filed with friends and acquaintances. 

“Yoongi-ya, I was wondering when you would show up! Chanyeol’s band will be on in five minutes!” his former roommate yelled at Yoongi from across the little balcony.

Yoongi felt the tension leave his body. For a second, he’d worried that Jin had gotten all these people together for him. That was way too much attention and effort.

This is why Jin was the best. Only Jin would find a way to get most of Yoongi’s people together in an environment that wouldn’t leave Yoongi exhausted in 20 minutes.

Yoongi greeted some of the other indie musicians, indie rappers and producers at the other three tables before heading to the back table with Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Ten and another man Yoongi hadn’t met.

He knew better than to guess and say the wrong name. Yoongi didn’t need Ten dragging him into some back alley to gut him for ruining his chances with his latest boy toy.

“Ah, hello, my name is John.”

The man next to Ten stood and started to hold out his hand, but dropped his arm and bowed instead. Ah, another foreigner, probably North American.

Ten had a type.

He looked over and smiled at Ten, then looked around the rest of the table.

“It is great to meet you all, I’ll be back over later.”

Ten smiled and nodded. John bowed again and went to one of the other tables on the balcony with some of Chanyeol’s other friends.

Yoongi smirked at Ten and slid into the seat John had vacated.

“John, huh?”

Ten took a sip of his drink and gave Yoongi a look then faux-huffed at Seokjin and Hoseok.

“I thought I was coming to this bar for a date, not to hang out with fanboy hyung and his friends.”

Hoseok clicked his tongue.

“I at least deserve to be called dance hyung.”

Ten chuckled and nodded his head in agreement.

Ten and Yoongi would have never met without New Age.

The younger man was Thai fine art student interning at a prestigious gallery where Ten now worked as an assistant when he decided to attend another New Age free concert with some friends. He liked the group and, as he told Yoongi later, he needed something that could truly be a hobby since he was making his love of art into his profession.

Even though they had little in common outside of New Age, Yoongi and Ten clicked. Technically, they weren’t that close. They rarely spent time together outside of New Age events, but when you trust someone and you spend hours standing next to them in line, you build a friendship.

For both, it was their first real, adult relationship they’d built outside of college or the places where they worked.

Ten was the only Navie who knew about Yoongi’s music, or his multiple part-time jobs. And Yoongi was the only Navie who knew about Ten’s experiences as a foreigner in Korea and his constant search for something new.

He’d also been the one to suggest Ten get back into dance by attending classes at Hoseok’s studio. Eventually, Ten met Namjoon and Seokjin as well.

Ten rolled his eyes at Hoseok’s comment and smiled, then looked at Yoongi before leaning over the table, so Hoseok and Seokjin could hear whatever he had to say as well.

“He introduced himself as John tonight, but he introduced himself to me as Johnny.”

Yoongi felt his eyes grow wide, Seokjin and Hoseok both leaned closer, and even Namjoon looked interested now.

It wasn’t hard for Ten to get a date. Attractive men, some rich, some artistic and a few who were both, came in and out of the gallery all the time. Yoongi and Hoseok heard about most of Ten’s flings; Hoseok because he liked to live vicariously and Yoongi because Ten liked to torture Yoongi in line for concerts.

But Johnny was different.

Ten met Johnny through the gallery. He was one of the few men who was both artistic and well-off. Yoongi didn’t know too much about the guy’s background, but he knew Johnny was a photographer, more editorial than artistic, though Yoongi thought his stuff was pretty good. He often worked events at the gallery and contributed to the gallery’s magazines and exhibit books.

Ten had been half in love with Johnny for over a year.

“Yah, Ten, why are you over here with us when your heart’s been burning for that guy for over a year?” Hoseok whisper-yelled.

Ten looked down at the table. Was he… nervous?

The man who regularly made Jaehyun blush, left Mingyu speechless and once made BamBam snort water out his nose, all with a smile, was nervous?

“Fuck, this is LOVE-love, huh?” Hoseok said leaning back.

Ten scowled at him.

“Ten-ah, he asked you to come and meet his friends, that has to be a good sign right?” Yoongi said while putting an arm around Ten’s shoulder.

Ten took a deep breath and shook his head, still staring at the table.

“I don’t know hyung. I knew we were going to watch his friend perform, I guess Chanyeol is your friend too?”

Seokjin made some comment about Chanyeol knowing everyone.

“But, I thought it would just be the two of us. I got, fucking, dressed up, and we show up here, and…”

Ten sighed and tipped his head toward the table where Johnny was now sitting. It was full of people talking and laughing. Yoongi grimaced in sympathy. Ten might be outgoing and a little brazen, but that was tough. Yoongi would have just laid on the ground and died if something like that happened to him.

“Ten-ah,” Yoongi looked at Namjoon.

He had a slight smile on his face.

“You should never regret putting yourself out there, not if you do it honestly and for something that you want. You are an amazing person, and even if Johnny does not see all that you are willing to offer him, he must think you are worth his time if he wants you to meet other people he cares about, that he also finds to be worth his time.”

Seokjin snorted.

“That’s all well and good, Joon-ah, but here is some real advice Ten-ah. Go over there and be your vivacious, handsome, quick-witted self! And show some of that collarbone, flash that cutsie smirk! Make all his friends fall in love with you, show him what he’s missing!”

Seokjin ended his little tirade by slamming his fist on the table.

Hoseok giggled into his beer.

Yoongi patted Ten’s back as he slid out of the booth, allowing Ten to get up and head to the other table.

“And if you need a breather, or it is too much, just come back to hyung, alright?”

Ten smiled and nodded. Yoongi resisted the urge to pat his head, and across the table Hoseok cooed.

Yoongi looked over at the other table while Ten climbed out of the booth. Johnny was already looking their way. From the look on his face, he’d noticed how close Yoongi and Ten had been sitting and Johnny hadn’t liked it.

Good, maybe next time Johnny wouldn’t side step taking his dongsaeng on an actual date.

The rest of the night was spent listening to good music, mostly played by friends or friends of friends, and eating good food. Ten came back over to their table a couple times, Johnny following with eyes each time. Eventually the photographer followed Ken over to their table, and the two ended up whispering to one another at one end of the table while Yoongi and his friends pretended not to watch and coo.

“Jinnie-hyung,” Yoongi tugged on Jin’s arm as they left the bar much, much later that night.

Seokjin let go of Namjoon’s arm and the other man immediately tripped. Luckily Hoseok was there to catch Joon, and the two held each other up while Hoseok laughed.

“Thank you for tonight. I know you planned it for me. And I saw that you paid for most of my drinks, and my food,” Yoongi said.

“Yah, Yoongichi, that is what a hyung does, I know you do the same for all your Navie babies!” Yoongi blushed and snuggled his face into Jin’s shoulder.

Jin wrapped his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders.

“Isn’t Jungkook’s birthday late this week?”

Yoongi sighed and nodded, face still buried in Seokjin’s shoulder.

“He’s turning 23. I didn’t go to New Age’s last appearance so I could help pay for a birthday billboard near their company’s building.”

Jin clicked his tongue.

“Oh, Yoongichi, I wish you loved yourself even half as much as you love Jungkook, or your Navie dongsaengs. Hell, I’d settle for a third of the love you give Namjoon, Hoseok and me.”

Yoongi just pouted up at Seokjin, who sighed again and led him over to the taxi Hoseok had called earlier to take them all to Jin and Namjoon’s place for the night.

“Will you still make me waffles in the morning, hyung?” Yoongi pouted up at Seokjin, making his eyes wide and his mouth small.

He was really good at this. He’d practiced a lot on his older brother. It always worked.

“Aigoo, you brat, yes, I’ll make your damned pancakes.”

Yoongi smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jungkookie celebrates his birthday

Jungkook waved goodbye to his parents and brother, then ended the video call.

His birthday hadn’t been perfect, but it had been pretty damn close so far.

Jungkook and his members still had to work, but the managers let him sleep in and they ate his favorite foods for lunch.

New Age only had one more performance for their EP promotion, then a small concert tour. They were scheduled for four concerts in Korea, a two week stint in China then two concerts in Japan, all with breaks in between, which Jungkook appreciated.

New Age had done a very brief VLive of the members singing and spanking Jungkook before heading back to practice. They’d properly celebrated his birthday the weekend before, teasing him about joining the ‘hyung line’. At this point, they knew each other well and Jungkook wasn’t one for huge celebrations.

After practice ended, Jungkook jumped in the back of a vehicle and headed to Tae and Jimin’s apartment. Jungkook had spent the half hour sitting in traffic on the way over talking with his parents, giggling and blushing every time he saw birthday wishes from Navies on billboards and buses.

Tonight, he’d game with Taehyung and probably do some living room karaoke just Jungkook, Tae and Jimin in their living room. His friends also promised to sneak him some chicken, beer and cake Jimin had ordered from his favorite bakery.

Then, they’d bundle him up for bed, probably letting Jungkook cuddle between them before waking him up in the morning for eggs and french toast, about the only breakfast food Jimin and Tae could consistently make without calling their mothers.

Jungkook waved to his driver as he jumped out of the car and skipped into the apartment building.

“JUNGKOOK-AHHHHH!!” Jimin’s voice echoed through the lobby when Jungkook buzzed their apartment on the top floor. Jungkook giggled and headed to the elevator, mumbling the little jingle he’d made to remember the code allowing the elevator to open on their floor.

Jimin and Tae didn’t live in the trendiest neighborhood. Their building was one of the first “fancy” apartment buildings that went up in Seoul during the early 90s. Of course, Taehyung had taken the out-of-date apartment and recreated it into a kind of time capsule from that period. He regularly made Jimin, Jungkook or his actor friends go with him on trips to junk shops, antique stores, estate sales and auctions for the perfect items.

Getting an older, out-of-date apartment also meant the couple could get a much larger apartment. One of the bedrooms was converted to a mini-dance studio for Jimin, another was dedicated to Taehyung’s painting, the attached bathroom acting as the dark room for Tae and Jungkook’s photography.

Jungkook loved their place, he’d have to convince Tae to help him someday when he moved out of the dorms and had to get his own place. Interior design was not one of his strengths.

He knocked on the door and waited for one of them to let him in.

Taehyung opened the door. His hair was pretty, vibrant light blue.

“Welcome to Chateau V-min.”

He swept his arm behind him.

“We have the perfect selection of junk food, sweets, beer and video games for only the discerning birthday celebrants.”

Jungkook laughed and walked inside.

An hour later Tae and Jungkook were sitting on the couch playing Overwatch when Jimin shoved a takeout menu in Jungkook’s face.

“Come on, I need your orders, this place has a special today and their delivery services just expanded to our area.”

Jungkook blinked a few times, trying to focus on the menu three inches from his face.

“Ahhh, hot and spicy chicken, gochujang bulgogi chicken, sweet potato, kimchi fried rice, radish, whatever else you guys want.”

Jimin nodded and skipped over to the dining room table, a gaudy glass and gold thing that perfectly fit the apartment’s aesthetic.

They switched over to Super Smash Brothers, anticipating their delivery. About 20 minutes later a loud buzz rang through the apartment.

Jungkook jumped in his seat.

“What the fuck?”

Tae nodded.

“That’s why Jimin yells at you when he buzzes you up.

“JUNGKOOK!!! TAEHYUNGIE!! GET THE BUZZER AND THE DOOR, I’M GETTING THE CAKE OUT!!”

Jimin yelled from the kitchen.

Tae and Jungkook shared a look, then raced to the buzzer. Another odd feature of the apartment was the buzzer placement in the living room.

Both men jumped over the couch, Jungkook managed to clear the back of the couch while Taehyung fell. Jungkook cackled as he ran to the intercom.

“Yes?”

A deeper voice, with a slight drawl answered.

“Ah yes, ah, I have a food delivery for a Park Taemin?”

Jungkook was familiar with the delivery code name the couple used for orders, so he told the man to head up and gave him the number code for the door.

He then turned to look at Taehyung still sprawled across the living room floor.

The older man grinned.

“I’ll race you to the door.”

Jungkook considered.

“Fine, but we start from when we hear the doorbell. Taehyung nodded.

“But you have to sit on the floor too.”

Jungkook agreed, and squatted down to his knees. Taehyung scrambled into the same position next to him, both ready to run to the front door.

“Ding, ding, ding!”

Jungkook jumped to his feet, dodging Taehyung’s elbow as he raced to the front door. He was going to win.

But he’d forgotten about Jimin in the kitchen. The smaller man was already opening the door when Jungkook and Taehyung crashed into him.

“Ya, you two are grown men! You should know better than to jump on an unsuspecting person when they are trying to feed you, do you have no manners!”

Jungkook, who’d managed to attach himself to Jimin’s back, giggled into the other man’s neck, before looking up at the person delivering their food.

It was Yoongi.

He was wearing a red hat with the restaurant’s logo and a thin, red windbreaker with the same logo on his left shoulder. His jeans looked worn, so did his boots.

But he was here.

“Yoongi.”

Jungkook felt Jimin stiffen underneath him, and Yoongi…

He’d looked a little uncomfortable when Jimin opened the door but now…

The color drained from Yoongi’s face and his eyes went before he grimaced and looked down at his feet.

Jungkook’s stomach clenched and his mouth went dry.

“Ah, here is the card reader, customer-nim, your total should be on the screen.”

Jimin took the reader and swiped his card, then completed the transaction. Taehyung grabbed the two bags of food from Yoongi. Yoongi’s empty right hand then went to the back of his neck, eyes still on the ground while he waited for Jimin to finish.

“Can I- um, would you like, um maybe, ah, an autograph?”

Yoongi finally looked up. He looked horrified, face quickly changing from overly pale to bright read.

Jimin shoved an elbow back into Jungkook’s stomach.

“Ow, or, ah, um, maybe a piece of cake? Or some water? Ah, if you’ve um g-g-got time?”

Jimin moved and Jungkook was staring right at Yoongi.

The older man seemed stared at Jungkook, eyes roving over his face. Jungkook knew he was doing the same, looking at Yoongi’s dark eyes, his cute button-like nose, his beautiful pouty mouth.

Eventually, eventually Yoongi shook his head, then stepped back. He smiled then, or, really made a face between a smile and a grimace.

He rubbed the back of his head one more time, looking away from Jungkook.

“Ah, well, Happy Birthday Jungkook.”

Then Yoongi turned and walked to the elevator. It opened quickly and Yoongi stepped inside, reaching out to hit the button without turning around.

Jungkook stood in the open doorway. His heart was burning and his stomach was doing flips. His head hurt too, right behind his eyes.

A small hand grabbed Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Hyung, I think, I think I really messed up somehow.”

He felt a sob push up and out his throat, then two sets of arms pulled him into a tight, warm hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after I wrote this chapter that I should probably add 'angst' as a tag.
> 
> The next chapter is going to pack a wallop as well, but after that there's only a few more chapters like that sprinkled throughout the story, don't worry.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am letting you know now! This chapter will likely be upsetting!  
> There is also a very, very vague reference to a character in a mental health crisis!

Yoongi was once again eating half a meal at an odd time in a smelly alley.

This time, it was behind the delivery place in between his back-to-back shifts.

He’d felt numb for the past three days.

Three days since Jungkook’s birthday.

Three days since he’d made a delivery to Seouls hottest “just roommates”, which in itself was enough to freak Yoongi out.

Taehyung and Jimin might be one of the only celebrity couples that everyone actually found interesting. They were constantly causing minor scandals due to their social media presence, leaving their beleaguered media team to once again claim the two were close friends and roommates, nothing more. Park Jimin’s versatility as a model and a dancer made him a favorite of Seoul’s young chaebols and he used these connections to become an emerging real estate mogul.

Apparently he was very good with numbers.

And Taehyung.

Taehyung was an enigma. It was impossible to define him by his many, many projects as an actor, a singer, a model, a fine art collector, a painter and an amatuer interior designer.

Yoongi, like everyone else in Korea, found them interesting. But what he’d always found most interesting was their close relationship with Jungkook.

Of course Jungkook wanted a quiet birthday celebration with his closest friends outside of New Age, to spend just one fucking night as himself, not Jungkook, New Age member on the vocal line.

And Yoongi had fucked it up.

His stomach clenched. Yoongi lost his apetite just remembering Jungkook’s face, his offer for a fucking autograph, but he shoveled the noodles into his mouth anyway. He’d need the fuel to make it through his second shift.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Remembering Namjoon’s promise to call later with his opinion on a beat, Yoongi answered without checking the ID.

That was a mistake.

“Ah, Yoongi-ah! And here I was convinced my son was ignoring me!”

Yoongi grimaced.

“Hey eomma, how are you and dad? Did he get the new washing machine set up correctly?”

His mother updated Yoongi on pointless neighborhood gossip after complaining about the way his father had hooked up the washing machine.

Every other week he had nearly the exact same conversation with his mother, sometimes he would briefly talk with his father as well. It was a kind of truce they’d reached about a year ago brokered by Geumjae, Yoongi’s older brother.

The fight between Yoongi and his parents, mainly his mother, had simmered for years before that particular bomb went off the week Yoongi was fired from his first job after college.

Yoongi had never followed the path his parents desperately wanted for him.

First, he’d scared them in high school when Yoongi's brother found him curled up on the bathroom floor late at night. Then he’d confused them two years later he’d tried to explain his sexuality.

If he liked men and women, it didn’t make sense to them that Yoongi would not just pursue women.

The blow up had almost happened when Yoongi went to Seoul for school. That was the first Min family peace deal. Yoongi had studied business administration and music production, though his parents didn’t know until Yoongi graduated that his minor was in business administration and his major was in music production.

College itself had been an extended cease fire. His family liked his friends, and his mother adored Kihyun. She didn’t mind Yoongi having a boyfriend at all if said boyfriend was a charming, dedicated young man like Kihyun.

But Yoongi’s relationship with Kihyun had already settled into more of a friendship than a relationship before their college graduation. In the six months after graduation, they became little more than roommates.

He’d expected his break up with Kihyun. They’d both cried, and there had been some hard comments from Kihyun about Yoongi’s lack of drive and purpose compared to the man Kihyun had fallen for back in school. Two weeks later, Yoongi moved into his shitty apartment, and a month after the break up he’d been fired from his shitty office job.

After a week of applying for other soul crushing office jobs, after running into a young idol singer in a park, after another abysmal interview, Yoongi mentally said “fuck it” and used the rest of his savings to buy a MIDI and the necessary software.

That’s when the Min family truce finally ended.

“Eomma, I have to get back to work.”

His mother was quiet on the other end of the call. Maybe now she’d finally get to the actual point of her call. He loved her, but he wished she was just a little more direct.

“Geumjae’s friend, the short one who also cooks, he got a head chef job in Seoul.”

Yoongi wasn’t sure where this was going. His mother filled in Yoongi’s long pause.

“Call your brother. If you,” his mother sighed. “If you insist on this path, at least use the few connections you have. I don’t-.”

Her voice broke and Yoongi felt like a piece of shit.

She took another deep breath, forcing her voice to stay light.

“I don’t like this path, you know, but you were always helpful at the restaurant. You should make yourself useful somewhere that will actually pay you for it. I swear, we paid our dish boys here in Daegu better than that place pays you!”

Yoongi sighed and nodded though his mother couldn’t see him.

“Okay eomma, I’ll call Geumjae, I promise. Now I gotta go.”

After exchanging goodbyes, Yoongi hung up the phone.

Maybe he should be happy. His mother was no longer emailing him job listings, but instead it felt bitter, like she’d given up on her dream for him, but still hadn’t accepted Yoongi’s dream for his own life.

Did he even have a dream? That hunger, for success, for happiness, for the fulfillment of the words and sounds flowing through his mind, it had faded.

Yoongi wasn’t content with his life. He was resigned to it.

Jungkook’s shocked face flashed through his mind, the question about a fucking autograph, his own greasy, pale and tired face reflected on the elevator door after delivering Jungkook’s birthday dinner.

He threw away the trash from his small meal, then went back into the delivery place to clock back in. He let the owner scream at him for taking too long on his meal break, then loaded multiple deliveries onto the scooter and took off toward the first address.

Yoongi didn’t know if he could afford to just float along his own life any longer, he was too close to-

What-

Yoongi was in the air, then, pain, more than Yoongi had ever felt in his life, from his shoulder. He realized he was laying in the middle of the road.

Vaguely, he heard people yelling, then something hit his shoulder. Yoongi didn’t know the pain could get even worse.

A scream, then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I promise this story has a happy ending!  
> And I am not writing some weird "let me use a disability as a plot device" fic, I promise!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this isn't a cliffhanger ending!

Jungkook knew his members and the N/A managers were worried about him when no one brought up their tight schedule when Jungkook asked about heading to Tae and Jimin’s place after the fan event.

He’d hoped to see Yoongi at the first fan event after Jungkook’s birthday.

After Yoongi delivered their food, Jungkook had curled up on the couch and eaten fried chicken and birthday cake while holding back tears, Jimin and Tae wrapped around him.

Over and over, it played through Jungkook’s head, each time he watched it like a short film with different edits, different coloring and scoring to bring out all the ways Jungkook had been an idiot.

He threw himself into practices for their last set of concerts in Japan, working until he couldn’t think about it.

Jaehyun and DK had been the ones to pull Jungkook aside, forced him to tell them what was wrong. The night before the fan meeting, all seven members sat around their living room eating light snack food with a Running Man replay on in the background, discussing how Jungkook should talk to Yoongi the next day at the fan event.

“Just like nothing happened, like nothing’s wrong. That’s what I’d do,” BamBam had said before trying to catch a fruit gummy in his mouth.

He was lucky Yugyeom had been sitting across the room, Mingyu wisely wrapping himself around their bandmate to stop Yugyeom from rightfully killing BamBam.

MingHao shook his head and gave BamBam a disgusted look.

“If you needed to know that was the worst option, there is your proof.”

BamBam looked offended and Yugyeom actually growled across the room. Mingyu, looking truly afraid, wrapped himself tighter around Yugyeom.

Jaehyun had sighed and put his hand on Jungkook’s knee.

“Apologize for making him uncomfortable, and admit that you liked seeing him outside of fan events.”

DK had laughed.

“Knowing Jungkook, he’ll stutter through the whole thing, but yea, that’s your best bet JK!”

So he’d written up a little script and practiced variations of the same apology the rest of the night, then again in the morning on their way to the event.

But Yoongi didn’t show.

Jaehyun asked Yoongi’s friend, the Thai guy, if he knew why Yoongi had skipped the fan event, N/A’s last before their Japanese concerts.

“I’m actually kinda worried. He told me a few days ago he’d see me here, but…”

One of the younger girls who often hung around Yoongi and his friend also said Yoongi hadn’t been active in fan chat rooms since right after Jungkook’s birthday.

That’s when Jungkook went numb.

He made it through the rest of the event on autopilot, knowing he’d feel guilty later for not giving Navies his full attention and energy. It seemed his fellow members were extra energetic and charismatic to make up for it. Jaehyun even let Yugyeoom and BamBam lose to have a dance battle.

Hours after the event, Jungkook is still numb.

He stumbled out of the vehicle and rushed into the building’s lobby to buzz the apartment.

“Yes?” Jimin answered.

He sounded annoyed, oh shit, this week his company was doing auditions for lead parts in their performance. Jimin had probably just got home from practice, or he was training in his studio and Jungkook interrupted him.

“Hey, hey, hey, its okay, you can always come here Jungkookie.”

Jungkook blushed and nodded, though Jimin couldn’t see him. He headed to the elevator and tapped in the code for their floor.

Jimin was waiting for him at the door.

Jungkook wasn’t numb anymore. Jimin pulled Jungkook’s head onto his shoulder and led him into their bedroom. He curled around Jungkook, singing in his ear until Jungkook fell asleep.

He woke up a little while later when the bed moved as Taehyung climbed onto the bed. Jungkook heard Tae and Jimin kiss, then felt Tae’s lips on his own forehead.

“Hey baby boy, I heard your day was sad.”

Jungkook smiled at Taehyung’s odd phrasing and nodded his head.

“Are you up to talking about it?”

Jungkook sighed and dug his face into Tae’s shoulder.

“Sure.”

“What? I can’t hear you when you’re eating my seventh favorite Gucci shirt.”

Jungkook turned his head.

“Yoongi didn’t come today, and the other Navies he hangs out with said he hadn’t told them he’d miss the event. Yoongi even told one guy he’d be there.”

Jimin ‘mmm’d and brushed his fingers through Jungkook’s hair.

“Jungkookie, I have an idea, but only if it's okay with you.”

Jungkook turned to look at Jimin.

The dance was biting his lip.

“Lets order chicken tonight. And when we call, we can ask about their delivery driver named Yoongi.”

Jungkook sat up in bed.

“That’s a great idea! Let's do it now.”

Jimin smiled and jumped out of bed, pulling Jungkook’s arm until he got up as well.

They headed to the kitchen, Tae following close behind. Jimin found the take out menu for the correct delivery place, then called, a goofy smile on his face.

“Yes, hi, ah, I ordered from the restaurant a couple nights ago, and ...ah...I believe my delivery driver may … have … accidentally taken something of mine? Turns out he and I have very similar taste in … bandanas? Yup, he left his bandana and took mine instead. ANyway, can you put me in touch with, I think his name is Yoongi?”

Jimin’s face fell.

“Oh, ah, do you have his contact information? Or! Or I can give you mine, to give to him?

Jungkook could faintly make out yelling on the other end of the phone.

“Okay, okay, yah! I get it!”

Jimin ended the call and looked at Jungkook, shaking his head.

“He doesn’t work there anymore.”

Jungkook sat down on one of the kitchen stools. How would he find Yoongi now?

“He quit? Just like that?” Tae said.

Jimin shook his head and sat on the kitchen’s other stool.

“I don’t think so. From what that asshole said, it sounded like he got fired because he got hurt. The guy was yelling something about having to replace the delivery scooter because of Yoongi.”

Jungkook looked up from his feet. He felt like crying again. Why did Jungkook think he was important enough to stop Yoongi from keeping his promise to his friends? Of course there was something else, something worse.

For a second Jungkook thought about calling his manager, trying to set up some kind of New Age visit to the local hospitals. 

But...

He’d done enough. If Yoongi came back, Jungkook would tell him he missed him. And that would be it. Yoongi was a real person, with real problems and goals. Jungkook was just his idol, just his distraction.

Jungkook could best help Yoongi by performing well and trying his best. Hadn’t Yoongi said the same thing over and over again?

He stayed with Tae and Jimin for dinner, then headed back to the dorms a little late. He ignored the closed door and lack of lights in Yugyeom and Mingyu’s room, just like he ignored Yugyeom’s grumbling as Jungkook crawled under his covers and rearranged his friend for better cuddling.

Yugyeom seemed to have more than the usual number of knees and elbows.

“Wh-what, ah JK?” Mingyu mumbled from the other bed, still more than half asleep

“Come on, get in,” Jungkook said.

Mingyu groaned, but he still climbed out of his bed and into Yugyeom’s, boxing Jungkook in and pushing Yugyeom up against the wall.

Jungkook let himself drift to sleep thinking about what he could do to show Yoongi that he was working hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one isn't so sad, see?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shortie

“YaaaaaAAAAHHHH! JUNG HOSEOK!!!!!”

Yoongi could sense Hoseok rolling his eyes from his perch behind Yoongi’s bent form.

“Hyung, this is the fifth time you’ve screeched in the past 20 minutes. I want to help, but I’d also like to keep my ear drums.”

Yoongi muttered something uncharitable about the irony of someone as loud as Hoseok worrying about their ear drums.

Hoseok leaned over Yoongi’s shoulder to scowl at him, but then he squinted, eyes moving over Yoongi’s face.

“Yea, you’re done for the day.”

Hoseok stood up and brushed off his knees.

Hmm, maybe Yoongi’s floor was getting a little dirty. It was hard to sweep with only one arm fully functioning.

“Wait really? I’m done?”

Hoseok must not have appreciated Yoongi’s cheery tone.

“You obviously sat at that damn chair all night working. Your shoulder is too sore for more shit today.”

Yoongi whined and rolled onto his side so he could stand up from the floor only using his good shoulder.

Hoseok steadied him when Yoongi stood and handed him his sling.

“Seok-ah, you know I really do appreciate you doing this for me, right?”

Hoseok gave Yoongi a tired, lop-sided smile and nodded.

Yoongi only spent 36 hours in the hospital after his accident. He was lucky he got away with mostly scrapes and bruises, aside from his fucked up shoulder. The doctor, a very small and passionate man, had pounded his fist against his desk when he told Yoongi the shoulder likely would have healed without an issue if Yoongi hadn’t been kicked while laying on the street.

The doctor’s resident told Yoongi he hadn’t technically been kicked, but it was very rude and medically dangerous to roughly turn someone over with your foot when they’d just been hit by a car.

The doctor had then screamed something about making sure the chaebol paid for his crime.

Yoongi, who had still been a little high from pain medication, felt like a side character in some medical Korean drama. And he was ready for that week’s episode to be over.

While his stay in the hospital hadn’t been long, it was the last few hours that were the most jarring. He’d sat with members of the hospital's administrative staff to talk about the bill for his stay as well as how he planned to pay for the following months of physical therapy.

The bill itself would wipe out half his savings, and he was pretty sure the rest of it would end up going to rent.

He’d sat there in the office until he felt himself shake, then he’d excused himself and called Jin, just as he’d promised to do whenever an anxiety attack started.

Yoongi isn’t sure what he said to Jin, but 30 minutes later Hoseok was there for Yoongi’s appointment with the hospital physio. Hoseok gently directed Yoongi to sign some paperwork, then Hoseok, the physio and, via phone call, the physical therapist at Hoseok’s studio talked through a kind of routine Yoongi could complete with oversight from Hoseok’s co-worker and Hoseok himself.

It wouldn't be as thorough, and Yoongi would probably have some struggle with his shoulder for the rest of his life, but that wasn’t too far off from what the hospital promised if Yoongi came in every week for the next six months.

And this way he’d actually be able to eat.

Yoongi had finally been discharged a few hours after that talk.

Jin and Namjoon had already been at his apartment. Jin had called both his employers. The delivery place owner had yelled about Yoongi fucking up the scooter and fired him. The manager at the coffee shop had been concerned, and said she’d gladly take Yoongi back when he was better, but if Yoongi couldn’t work both his arms, then he couldn’t work.

“Good thing it's close to the winter holidays, hyung!” Namjoon had said. “I’ve got a lot of jingles and theme songs sent my way, more than enough for you to take over some projects.”

That’s when Yoongi broke down the second time.

He’d spent the next three weeks practically glued to his office chair working on anything Namjoon sent his way along with some of his own work as well. A few checks had already come from advertising companies and Suga’s soundcloud and spotify page was active again. He’d been right, the rest of his New Age concert/ new production equipment savings had gone to rent.

And he wasn’t making nearly as much as he was before, so rent and food would continue to be a problem. But as long as he got good enough to work a full eight-hour day, and he kept in contact with the stuffy advertising people Namjoon had originally emailed on Yoongi’s behalf, he might be okay.

He just had to make it through the next three weeks.

“Alright hyung, I let you get of doing more stretches, but you know what I won’t let you weasle your way out of?”

Yoongi groaned. Hoseok nodded, hands on his hips.

“That’s right. Dance practice.”

That stupid GFriend dance. Hoseok had reworked the choreo so Yoongi could do it with one arm, then he’d gleefully worked it into their twice-a-week therapy sessions.

Hoseok was determined to perform it with Namjoon and Yoongi when they performed on Halloween.

“Why doesn’t Namjoon have to do this?” Yoongi whined.

Hoseok snorted and took his position.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I make Namjoon come and practice at the studio in front of a bunch of professional dancers. You’re lucky I haven’t made you come to the studio yet.”

Yoongi pictured Namjoon watching himself flail in the studio mirrors, professional dancers lining the back wall.

He grimaced and decided his best option was to just shut up and dance.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added this chapter from my phone, so please bare with any mistakes. But also let me know, I will come back and fix any screw ups!

"I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Everyone in the vehicle froze and looked at DK in the back of the 12-passenger van. He was frowning and looking down at his phone, seemingly ignorant of the bomb he’d just dropped.

They'd all piled into the van after flying back to Seoul from their final concert in Japan, completely exhausted.

But Jungkook didn't think anyone was that kind of tired, worn thin enough to quit on their dream.

Jungkook suddenly had a hard time breathing. Next to him, it looked like Mingyu was about to cry.

“Ah, Seokmin…” Jaehyun said, panicked.

DK finally looked up and seemed surprised at the worry and heartbreak on his fellow members’ faces.

He blinked a few times, maybe replaying his words, then his eyes went wide.

“Woah! No guys, not like that! I’m not like, telling you I’m quitting the band on our ride from the airport back to the dorms, what the hell.”

Mingyu sighed and plopped his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. BamBam punched Seokmin in the arm.

“Dude, ow! I mean, like, did any of you guys really like our EP?”

Jungkook winced. He usually liked at least half the songs on their albums, but this time the entire EP was handled by four in-house producers Jungkook just, didn’t like.They wrote catchy songs, sure, but they relied on repetition and creating earworms more than actually producing meaningful music.

At least that’s what Jungkook had gotten out of the 500-word long rant Yoongi had once written on one of the older Navie fancafes.

Jungkook had never liked those four, but he hadn’t ever been able to put it into words. But Yoongi could.

It was another reason Jungkook had found himself a little obsessed with his biggest fan.

“I liked Falling Star,” Mingyu said.

DK pointed at him.

“Yes, it was the only good song on the EP. And it's the only one those four fucks got from outside producers.”

The8 was nodding.

“Have you heard the original track the dudes from Sweden sent? It was like, way better. Minyeom, like, sped it up and brought it up an octave. That's why the chorus is a little weird.”

Jaehyun sighed and let his head bump against the window.

“So, what are we supposed to do about it?”

Jungkook chewed his lip. The company had told them before their most recent EP and GFriend’s album that they wanted to dedicate certain inhouse producers to each team in order to give both groups a more defined sound. While Jungkook didn’t think any of the songs on their EP had a lot of staying power, Falling Star excluded, they’d still brought in a lot of money. Enough that Minyeom had started referring to himself as the ‘lead producer’ for New Age.

BamBam pounded a fist on the seat in front of him.

“Fuck, look, they want us to have our own sound right/ I think we should ahve a chance to decide on that sound ourselves. Let’s put together our own album concept, get in touch with some outside producers and present our own idea to the company!”

Jaehyun and The8 didn’t seem convinced, but Seokmin was bouncing in his seat next to BamBam. Mingyu was nodding too.

“Yes! I know if we talk to the other producer they’ll help us out too. Everyone hates Minyeom’s crew, Sowon and Eunha fucking hate his guts.”

DKscowled.

“Yea, cause the guy was saying shit about them during a recording, asking them to make out for him and shit. Why do you think that fuckface and his friends don’t work with GFriend anymore?”

“Why does that creep have a job?,” Mingyu asked.

Jungkook had never seen Mingyu that angry.

“His sister is married to some BM Entertainment big wig,” Jaehyun said, also looking displeased.

That...made this whole idea sound more difficult. How were they going to go against someone with those kinds of connections?

“We’re not gonna get him fired.” 

Jungkook turned to Yugyeom sitting in one of the front rows.

He’d been quiet throughout the discussion. Jungkook should have known that was a sign Yugyeom was plotting.

“But that doesn’t mean we’ll give him control of our music without a fight. They haven’t really trained us in how to produce or write our own songs, probably so we couldn’t pull this kinda shit, but we’ve got connections.”

Yugyeom looked at Jaehyun and smirked.

“You and DK should talk with GFriend and the other producers about who they trust outside the company. We don’t wanna draw them into this, but I bet Eunha and Sowon have been holding Queen B back from literally wringing Minyeom’s neck. They’ll wanna help, and most of them started as trainees in other companies, so they have even more connections than us.”

DK was grinning. Jaehyun still didn’t seem totally convinced, but he nodded.

Yugyeom took a deep breath then looked at BamBam in the back of the van.

“Call Jackson.”

Jungkook heard Mingyu suck in a deep breath of air. Jaehyn looked like his eyes were about to fall out of his head.

Yugyeom smiled.

“He works with a lot of producers. And I know you’re bored with what they’ve let you and the other rappers do so far.”

BamBam gave a small smile and nodded.

Yugyeom took another deep breath.

“And Jungkookie, talk with Tae and Jimin. They’ve both put out some cool OSTs, usually with outside producers. They might have some names too, people they trust and like.”

Jungkook blinked and nodded. Tae and Jimin would probably love to help, and Tae was always good about figuring out who was phony within the first few minutes of meeting a person.

Seokmin started laughing, then Minghao. Mingyu started to giggle then Jungkook felt that same joy in his own chest.

By the end they were all laughing.

“Manager-ssi!,” Jaehyun yelled.

Sejin looked back at the group from his place in the front passenger seat, also smiling.

“You’ll keep our secret, right? Maybe even help out?”

Sejin nodded.

“You seven, you can do this. I believe in you,” Sejin said.

That’s when Jungkook and Mingyu both started to cry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be some mistakes in this chapter, I uploaded it on my phone.

Yoongi is just getting off a short shift as a cashier at the coffee shop when Geumjae called.

“Hyung, how are you doing?”

“Yoongi-ah.”

Yoongi winced and nodded to the coffee shop manager while he slipped out the back door. He really needed to thank her again for letting him back to work even though he could barely even work the register.

“Yoongi-ah, I had to find out about your accident from Seokjin.”

“I didn’t want mom and dad-”

“I’m not mom and dad! I know why you didn’t tell them, but, me?”

Fuck, Yoongi did not need to start crying in the middle of the street. His relationship with his parents was, complicated at best, but Geumjae had always been Yoongi’s corner, never judging, just there offering support.

“I’m, I’m sorry. I should have called you.”

He heard Geumjae sigh on the other end of the call.

“Okay, well, how are you doing?”

Yoongi huffed a laugh and moved around another person on the sidewalk. Maybe he should go find a park bench. It was one of the last nice days before the cold weather moved into Seoul.

“I’m, honestly okay? Not like, in the long term. Long term I’m fucked. But I’ve got enough money for food and rent for the next month.”

Geumjae hummed. Yoongi finally made it to the little park near the coffee shop and found a bench.

“Like, Namjoon set me up with some really basic freelance work producing jingles and shit. And I can take a few shifts at the coffee shop working as a cashier. But the fried chicken place fired me and took my last paycheck to repair the scooter.”

“Is that legal?”

“Probably not, but, what am I gonna do? Hire a lawyer?”

Geumjae was quiet on the other end.

“How long until you’ll be able to get back to work?”

It had been a little over a month since his accident, and Hoseok wanted Yoongi to come to the dance studio next week to see the studio’s physical therapist. The dancer was pretty sure Yoongi was almost back to normal, or at least to the place where Yoongi could get away with working if he regularly iced his shoulder and took over the counter pain medication.

Yoongi told Geumjae about his plan.

His older brother hummed again.

“I might have found another job for you. Eomma said she talked to you about my friend?”

Yoongi thought back to his last conversation with his mother.

“Ah, yea, literally right before my accident.”

This time Geumjae snorted.

“Well, I told him about you, and about your accident. They're just opening the restaurant, more fine dining than fast food, and they need some dishwashers and hosts. I thought you could do a pretty good job at either of those positions.”

Yoongi leaned back on the bench.

“How much does it pay?”

“Hosts make about what you were making at the delivery place. Dishwashers make more.”

Yoongi nodded, though Geumjae obviously couldn’t see Yoongi. It made sense, especially at a fine dining restaurant. Hosts weren’t too hard to replace, but a good, dedicated dishwasher kept the whole kitchen running, making sure they pet both the kitchen and the dining room supplied with clean pots, pans, forks, spoons, bowls, cutting boards, glasses and really anything else used in the kitchen.

But it was really fucking hard, a lot of manual labor. A lot of lifting heavy trays of dirty dishes.

“Fuck.”

Geumjae laughed.

“Yea, picked the wrong time to throw your scooter in front of a moving vehicle. Maybe you could work as a host for a month or two, then move to the back of the house.”

Yoongi groaned and leaned down, shoving his face into his knees.

“I hate people! I already have to work the stupid cashier at the coffee shop, why can’t I just be a mindless drone working in the back!”

Geumjae just continued to laugh and coo at his poor introverted baby brother.

His hyung promised to send Yoongi the friend’s contact information, then talked a bit about a new dish he was trying to work into the menu at his own restaurant in Busan, but the restaurant owner was resistant to adding more non-seafood to their offerings.

When Yoongi had his breakdown in high school, Geumjae had come back home from culinary school. While their parents tried to navigate their own fear, anger and confusion, Geumjae had been patient and careful. If Yoongi needed to talk, Geumjae listened. If Yoongi wanted to disappear into his room and his music, Geumjae would lay on his bed with a manga, appeasing their parents who were terrified of Yoongi being alone. And when anxiety began to creep up Yoongi's throat, to race through his veins, Geumjae would herd Yoongi into the kitchen and show his little brother what he’d been learning at culinary school.

Their parents would wake up to piles of prepped veggies and stews in the fridge ready to be reheated or brought to family.

“Geumjae,” Yoongi interrupted his brother.

“-uh, yup?”

“Thank you. Really, for this and, and everything.”

“Yoongi, the best way to thank hyung is to be happy in this life. That is how you thank hyung.”

Yoongi sniffed. Fuck, he didn’t want to cry in the middle of some park.

The phone call ended and Yoongi continued to sit on the park bench watching people walk by, letting memories and emotions rise and fall within him.

Maybe he was starting to understand why Namjoon said taking walks through the park helped him write.

A melody, and a bridge started to form in his mind. Yoongi’s head bobbed along to the seed of a song as he got off the bench and started walking home. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, likely a message from Geumjae with his friend’s information.

He felt a small smile on his own face.

Yoongi wasn’t sure he had any goals or dreams, but maybe he could just try to be happy, for Geumjae, for his friends, maybe even for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get a little, ah, interesting after this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been excited for this chapter.

Jungkook picked at his shirt. Letting Jimin dress him had been a mistake. When Jungkook first saw the outfit, he was relieved. It was all black and soft, something Jungkook always looked for in clothing.

Only when he’d slipped the shirt on did he realize just how thin the cotton was, and how lose it was around his neck. Jimin had also made Jungkook up in smudged eyeliner and eyeshadow, along with a strategically placed highlighter.

“If you weren’t wearing a mask, I’d put gloss on you too,” Jimin had said while he, Jungkook and Tae left their apartment.

The trio had piled into an Uber and headed to Hongdae, and now Jungkook sat crushed between his hyungs.

He was nervous.

It wouldn’t be the first time Jungkook went to a club, it wouldn’t even be the first time he went out with just Taehyung and Jimin.

But this is the first time he tagged long with them on one of their more clandestine outings.

It was amazing how well they’d transformed themselves. 

Taehyung wore black cargo pants muc like Jungkook’s, a rolled up long sleeve shirt and a bright red cap pulled backward over his hair. His fair was practically bare, just a touch of liner around his eyes. Taehyung has never been scared of makeup or dying his hair, and he was known for those creative expressions. It was amazing how easily he could hide if he just hid his hair and went out barefaced.

It was a little harder to hide Jimin, but he also wasn’t as famous as Tae, or at least as famous outside of his particular spheres of influence. He was dressed in ripped black jeans and a denim jacket. Under the jacket Jimin wore a light pink shirt with bold, black English print that read “Smells like the only Nirvana song you know.”

Jungkook was already planning how he would steal the shirt.

Jimin had also pushed back his hair, though his honey blonde locks were mostly hidden in a large black beanie. Instead of wearing little makeup like Taehyung, Jimin wore dark black liner and black and gray smokey-eye.

They looked amazing. Jungkook looked...okay.

“Here! Kookie, we’re here!” Jimin was practically jumping in his seat. The vehicle came to a stop and Tae pulled Jungkook from the vehicle.

The club was, well, not well kept. Groups of people stood outside smoking and talking. They all looked intimidating to Jungkook, but Jimin and Tae just walked through the crowd, through a door and down the steps to the actual club.

Jungkook was grateful the room was so dark, hopefully hiding his awkward shuffling.

“Come on, Jimin and I have an in with the owner, so we’ve got a table reserved,” Tae whisper-yelled in Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook looked where Tae nodded with his head.

The entire club was in a half basement, with a ledge lining three walls. On the back wall, the ledge had been extended into the club’s stage while the sides had small tables and chairs.

Thank fuck. Jungkook was already overwhelmed in the crowded club.

Jimin chatted with one of the bartenders, then led them to one of the small tables close to the stage. Once they sat down, Jimin put the large soju bottle he’d grabbed from the bartender on the table, along with three glasses.

“So, they’ve already had the first act, some kid just a step up from an open mic kinda thing. Guess he kinda sucked,” Jimin said while pouring soju in each glass.

Tae made a face, but took the alcohol. He shot the drink and made an even worse face. Jimin grinned and rolled his eyes.

“Ya, I’m in love with a baby.”

Tae pouted and Jungkook tried not to snort into his own glass of soju.

“So, who did we come to see?” Jungkook asked.

Tae went from pouting to hopping in his seat.

“I saw them here a couple months ago, when Jiminie was visiting Eomma in Busan and I came here with some friends. These rappers all performed together and they were really good. I looked them up later, and Jiminie and I have been listening to their stuff on Soundcloud since. He really likes them too, said a lot of their beats are really good to dance to, good beats.”

Jimin nodded while taking a sip of his soju.

The three chat for a little while, mostly about the people in the crowd, before some guy comes out on the stage.

“Hongdaaaeeeee!!! Make some noise for RM, J-Hope, and, finally, back from the muthafucking dead, SUGA!!!!”

The crowd screams as three men make their way onto the stage. The first to come out is a tall guy wearing a cap like Tae’s pulling his hair back from his face. He might be the only person in the entire club wearing white clothes, no wait, the clothes are all a really light khaki. The second one is shorter, his clothes all bright primary colors that shouldn’t work together, a black bucket cap pulled low over his face, though it doesn’t hide the man’s smile. The last man to come on the stage is the shortest. He seems to be a little stiff on stage, but it's hard to tell since the man is drowning in a bright red jacket.

The last guy is also the most covered with a black ball cap pulled down over his eyes and black mask on his face.

“The middle guy is J-Hope, the guy in khaki is RM and the guy in the coat is Suga,” Taehyung says in Jungkook’s ear.

“Who is your favorite?”

Taehyung hums.

“I’m not sure I really, really have a favorite. They’re all really good, really unique. But Suga, I think he’s the best like, traditional rapper. Does a good job of getting you all angry and fired up.”

“OKAAAAY PEOPLE!!!” 

The middle one, Hope?, yells to the crowd.

“We’ve been gone for a while I know, but we had to make sure Suga didn’t lose his fucking arm.”

RM laughs and Suga tilts his head back like he’s already over Hope’s commentary on his, his arm? What happened to his arm?

But then the music starts, Hope ‘whoops’ and RM jumps into the first verse with a rumble.

Jungkook is completely enthralled for the next hour. The trio are completely different from the kind of Korean hip hop rappers Jungkook has gotten used to during his two years in the music industry. The closest he can compare them to is Epik High, though their sound is completely different. And all three are very different from each other. It is most obvious when the other two step back and act as hype men during a solo song for the third.

They rap about having an actual mental break down, the ocean, the fear of ecstasy of being on stage, outer space, falling in and out of love, good food on a cold day, feeling empty.

And liking boys. It's obvious some members of the group are either inclined toward women or also like women, but RM very explicitly states during one rap that he isn’t giving up the man he loves to please a bunch of rappers with bad rhymes and fucked beats.

Suga also talks about making men and women come while Hope moans in the background.

So there’s that too. 

A bunch of rappers. And at least one is gay. Here in Hongdae. Just saying it, with the crowd cheering along.

And they’re good too. Really good.

Jungkook is stuck trying to catch his breath when they finally leave the stage.

“Soooo.”

Jungkook blinks a couple times and turns to Tae. He’s wearing a shit-eating grin, likely remembering how much Jungkook had whined about coming out in the days leading up to their little trip to Hongdae.

“Did you like them?”

Jungkook nods his head so fast he can’t see. He hears Jimin’s loud, cackling laugh.


	17. Chapter 17

Dishes littered Yoongi’s stained coffee table and a commercial for some new soft drink washed the tiny living room in color.

“Aigoo, this commercial breaks, why are they having a family concert on regular television?” Seokjin complained, stretching his long limbs.

Namjoon poked Jin’s side with his foot, trying to force his boyfriend out of his personal space. Hoseok and Yoongi were snuggled up on the floor in front of the couch, allowing the giant boyfriends to stretch out on the couch.

“They’re barely big enough to have a family concert, it's probably a good idea to put all of Songbird’s artists out there for the general public,” Namjoon said.

Hoseok quickly swallowed the food in his mouth, gross, before making his own comment.

“Yoongi, didn’t you say they were going to have some dance shit too?”

The commercial break was finally over and the actual concert was about to begin.

Yoongi looked down at his phone. Ten was sending him pictures and short videos from the crowd.

It was probably dumb to feel so disappointed. Tickets for the Songbird family concert went on sale the week after Yoongi’s shoulder got fucked up.

It had been completely unexpected and a lot of New Age and GFriend fans had already blown their entire fan budgets on merch and tickets.

Yoongi had the money.

He’d had the money.

But then, he fucked his shoulder, and lost his job, and had to keep up with rent.

Yoongi pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs.

He was trying really, really hard not to be angry, sad, bitter, or any of those other emotions Yoongi really couldn’t afford right now.

He had a new job, one that paid better than the delivery place, and he was making music again, both his own music and little tunes for ads.

Letting himself fall back into his previous fudge just wasn't an option.

An arm wrapped around Yoongi’s shoulder.

He turned to see Hoseok’s heart-shaped smile.

“Hyung, we promise not to laugh if you drool when Jungkook comes on stage.”

Yoongi punched Hoseok in the arm while Jin and Joon laughed above them.

Yoongi hadn’t done a great job of hiding his disappointment about the Songbird family concert. Hoseok, Jin and Joon had pushed their way into Yoongi’s apartment with food about a half hour ago so he wouldn’t be all alone for the concert.

“Oh, oh, oh! Someone is on the stage!”

It was Kim Taehyung. The man confidently walked to the center of the stage then looked out to the crowd.

He brought the mic up to his lips.

“You bring me warmth, even in winter,” Taehyung sang.

The music for the popular OST began and the crowd went wild. The song had been a major hit the previous year and it had catapulted Taehyung’s career as a singer. Already well-known as a model with a few minor roles in some dramas, he’d made others in the entertainment industry reconsider Songbird and the agency’s artists.

Taehyung was joined in the next song by Yuju from GFriend to perform yet another popular OST from earlier in the year. After that, GFriend came onto the stage and joined them.

They cheered when GFriend performed Joon’s song, then Hoseok sang along to one of the group’s most popular songs from their debut album.

Yoongi’s phone was blowing up with pictures and video from Ten at the concert and Yoongi could tell the fan cafe he frequented was also filled with posts from people at the concert.

He laughed at a clip of Yujin, Yeji and Chaeryeong dancing along to the song Joon helped produce. Yoongi handed his phone to his friends to show them the clip.

“Those are the teenagers who boss you around, right Yoongi?” Seokjin asked.

Yoongi sighed but nodded.

Taehyung, Park Jimin and a few other ballad singers came on the stage next for a kind of medley.

“Ah, New Age will be next!”

The ballad singers bowed and left the stage. Yoongi felt his breath catch, just like it did anytime he watched New Age perform, whether in person or through a grainy video on his phone.

The stage lights shifted, showing the silhouettes of the seven members.

“Ayo, ayo, ayooooo! It’s our time to shine!” Jaehyun belted the opening line of N/A’s first big hit.

The group jumped into their choreography and Yoongi felt caught on Jungkook’s smile.

It wasn’t a full concert, but they were amazing. Jungkook was amazing.

They performed five songs, then GFriend joined them back on stage for another four songs. Video, pictures and posts ran across Yoongi’s phone screen, but his eyes stayed on the concert itself.

Eventually the concert ended. Yoongi’s friends hugged him and helped pack the few leftovers into his fridge.

He had been fine, during the concert and when his friends were over, but sitting on his bed looking through all the photos and fancams Yoongi felt the bitterness creep in.

Sleep was the perfect excuse to push all those useless emotions away. He had a pretty early morning shift at the coffee shop, still working as a cashier, fuck.

Yoongi didn’t think he was that tired, but the next morning he woke up 27 minutes before his shift and it would take him at least 18 minutes to get there.

Yoongi brushed his teeth, pulled on a relatively clean pair of pants and his uniform shirt. He liberally sprayed himself with a relatively neutral smelling body spray after putting on some deodorant. Shoes, hat, jacket, phone, wallet, and Yoongi was out the door.

He made it with two minutes to spare, then clocked in for a grueling four hour shift taking orders from rich entitled housewives, grumpy businessmen and self-centered students.

Fuck, Yoongi hated working the register.

Luckily, he could go back home once his shift was over. While Yoongi was hurt, the coffee shop only used him during the morning rush and he didn’t have a shift at the restaurant until the next day.

His manager told Yoongi to go home 30 minutes early. It had been a short shift but Yoongi was mentally exhausted.

He looked at his phone for the first time that morning when he stepped out the back door of the shop.

Yoongi’s phone had about 50 notifications from Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok and, Ten? Why would Ten blow up his phone?

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Had something happened to Jungkook, to one of the other members.

Yoongi pulled up the Kakao message from Jin first.

“Yoongichi, please tell me you watched N/A’s v-live!!!!!!”

That-

Why would Jin care about a New Age v-live?

Yoongi opened up his group chat with Hoseok and Namjoon. That had been, VERY active.

But nothing they said seemed to make sense.

Instead of heading home Yoongi sat down on one of the crates and pulled up the v-live.

They were at the dorm, Mingyu and Jaehyun talking about the concert while the other members moved in and out of the frame, bringing food or making comments. Eventually someone asked The8, who’d joined the Mingyu and Jaehyun, for some song recommendations. Mingyu and Jaehyun joined in as did other members.

“Oh, oh, oh! I’ve got a recommendation!”

Jungkook

Yoongi was, surprised. Jungkook didn’t make many song recommendations. He did a fair amount of covers, and he liked to film and edit travel logs of the members with different ‘travel playlists’ edited into the films.

“Ya, JK, show us what ya got!”

Jungkook smiled, fuck Yoongi loved his smile, before dancing in and then back into frame.

“Taehyungie-hyung introduced me to these guys, they’re sooo good!”

Jungkook tapped his phone, and

That was-

What

WHAT

That was Yoongi’s beat, Namjoon rapping over it, Hoseok’s as libs interspersed.

And there was Jungkook, dancing along, mouthing the words. BamBam came into the frame and wrapped his arms around Jaehyun's shoulders.

“Ah ye, Jungkook showed me these guys, they’re good!”

The8, Mingyu and Jaehyun were bobbing their head to Yoongi’s beat as well.

“OH! Wait, this is my favorite part!”

It-

It was Yoongi’s rap. And Jungkook

Jungkook was rapping along. He knew every word.

Yoongi walked back home in a daze. He entered his apartment, toed off his shoes, then went to face plant onto his bed.

Jungkook knew his music. No, Jungkook liked his music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be awhile before I post the next chapter, so just, be aware.  
> Hope you like it!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get up, I had to do some reworking of my outline, but as you may have noticed, we have a set ending now! Yay!

“So, as you all know, we believe now is the time to begin work on the next album. Minyeom, why don’t you share your vision for the next New Age album with the tem?”

Songbird’s head of production finished speaking and motioned to Minyeom.

Jungkook felt Mingyu tense next to him. Minyeom began to stand, smarmy look on his face when Jaehyun spoke up.

“Ah, Ahn-sajangnim, we would like to discuss the production process for the album first.”

Minyeom looked confused, as did the two producers next to him.

Jungkook fought to keep his face blank. Sejin told them Mr. Ahn would not take them seriously if he did not believe they took themselves seriously. They needed to appear calm and resolute in the meeting.

Jungkook took a deep breath into his diaphragm, making sure his shoulders did not move, and let it out slowly, keeping his eyes on Mr. Ahn.

Ahn Hyunseung was the artistic head of Songbird, really the true leader of the offshoot since much of business operations not directly connected to music production and music marketing was still handled by BM Entertainment.

Sejin and one of the GFriend producers had given then a briefing on Mr. Ahn the previous night over dietitian approved sides from their favorite local take out place and grilled chicken breasts Sejin had actually cooked himself. Much better than the re-heated crap their dietitian dropped off, though Sejin used a lot more salt.

Jungkook blinked, forcing his mind back to meeting and away from Sejin’s ability to make gross chicken breasts actually taste decent.

Mr. Ahn leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

“Oh, what would you like to discuss?”

Jaehyun’s face remained pleasant but otherwise blank. Jungkook could see the sweat forming at his temple. Not for the first or likely last time, Jungkook was glad Jaehyun had volunteered to be New Age’s leader.

“We would like creative control over the album. Of course, all final decisions on songs and concepts would be made by you and your team, Ahn-sajangnim, but we believe it is time that we as artists take more responsibility for our music.”

The producer from GFriend had suggested they take this route. Mr. Ahn did not come to his position through the kpop system. He was unique, not just in this but also in his age.

Mr. Ahn had already been working in this world before Seo Taiji and The Boys debuted.

He’d started as a production assistant on early music programs in the late 80s. According to Sejin, he’d also given advice and tried to quietly make connections for emerging folk singers with messages too controversial for television programs. Mr. Ahn had continued to rise in the world of television music shows, with some influence on OSTs.

Then, Mr. Ahn had a very good thing and a very bad thing happen in the same year, 2005. He’d been pushing his company to book more punk bands, and he’d also suggested a particular song by Yoon Dohyun be included in a drama’s soundtrack.

In 2005, Yoon Dohyun’s ‘It Must Have Been Love’, the song suggested by Mr. Ahn, reached the top of the charts. And another music program faced the shame of two young men jumping up and down while naked during a performance by a punk band called Russ, a band Mr. Ahn had suggested BM Entertainment book for a program two months before.

Mr. Ahn was moved within the company to oversee OSTs, and eventually was chosen to head Songbird because of his experience with ballad singers.

Jungkook chanced a glance at Minyeom. He was still half standing, mouth wide open. One of his cronies looked confused and the other was furious.

He looked back to Mr. Ahn. Blank and pleasant, keep your face blank and pleasant.

Mr. Ahn just, stared at them for a while.

“Do you have any ideas, for your concept, your songs?”

Jaehyun’s face stayed blank, but Jungkook saw his adam's apple bob.

“We do have some ideas, some songs in the work, but felt it was not right to move forward in that direction without your explicit approval.”

It seemed Minyeom finally regained his ability to speak.

“Ahn-sajangnim, my team has already begun looking through our files, and we’ve already settled on a concept.”

Mr. Ahn’s lips pursed.

“Let me guess, springtime?”

Minyeom began to turn a little red.

Mr. Ahn sighed and looked at Jaehyun, then each of them in turn. Jungkook could only hope his determination shown through his nerves when Mr. Ahn stared into his eyes.

“We are not in such a rush that everything must be decided in this meeting. In truth, it would not have been decided anyway, since ‘springtime’ as a theme would not have been approved.”

Mr. Ahn’s eyes cut to Minyeom then. The other man was still standing, now bright red and obviously embarrassed.

“This delay can be a blessing, for both of our idol groups. We saw immense success with our family concert and our marketing team has already suggested we capitalize on this trend by releasing some covers between members of New Age and GFriend, as well as some of our other artists. I had been hesitant to move forward with the project because of New Age’s coming album.”

Mr. Ahn looked at Minyeom.

“But it appears the album is not where we had hoped.”

The leader of Songbird then turned to Jaehyun.

“Two months. Our marketing team would like to release at least one cover a week for two months, so that is how long you have to prepare your pitch for the album.”

Mr. Ahn turned back to Minyeom.

“Of course, your team will have the same amount of time to, restructure their ideas.”

Mr. Ahn then stood, and everyone else in the room stood to bow, which Mr. Ahn returned before leaving the room with his assistants.

Luckily, Minyeom and his team are too flustered to speak with the New Age members. Jungkook and the rest of the team leave the room in a daze, Sejin carefully directing them to the company cafeteria.

By the time they’ve sat down with their lunches, most of them are over the shock and are excitedly discussing the possibilities for their new album.

Across the table Mingyu is shaking Minghao’s arm and whisper-screeching. Minghao is trying to appear annoyed but his grin gives him away. Next to Mingyu, Seokmin and Yugyeom are discussing themes and talking shit about Minyeom’s “springtime” idea.

“So, we heard.”

Jungkook looks up to Eunha and Sowon with trays of food. He scoots down to give them room, pushing into BamBam scarfing down his lunch. Yuju pushes DK and Mingyu apart to make room at the table.

Mingyu, predictably, freezes and goes silent, eyes now on his food.

Jungkook watches for Yuju’s reaction, but a light elbow to his side distracts him.

He looks over to Eunha’s smiling face.

“Jungkookie, you know the rapper you said you liked on that live, RM? He produces too. He worked on our latest album.”

Before Jungkook can respond, BamBam is leaning over Jungkook.

“Waa, really? Do you think you can get us his contact? We’re gonna need all the fucking help we can get!”

“You will. We’ll make sure of it,” Eunha said.

It wasn’t that rare to see Yuju and the other girls fired up, but Eunha and Sowon were often the calm ones in the group.

Now they both looked ready to kill.

“You aren’t the only ones in this company who want you to succeed against Minyeom,” Sowon said before taking a bite of banana pudding.

Jungkook smiled at the two girls. They were right. New Age wasn’t in this alone. This was a fight they could win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will likely be publishing twice a week or so instead of every day for the rest of the fic.
> 
> Something of note, two real life events in Korean music are referenced here, I actually did research y'all! Yoon Dohyun’s ‘It Must Have Been Love’ is really good. And there are many lost treasures in Korean punk. But I'm not linking any of it, Google/YouTube exists and I'm laaaaazzzyyyy. 
> 
> ALSO!  
> Someone else is also working an idol JK fan Yoongi fic! It looks soooo good and I've subscribed to it, but I won't let myself read it until my idol-fan story is done! GAWH!  
> So that's another reason for me to hurry up and finish this!
> 
> I'm also trying to decide what I'll do next. I've had a lot of fun with this fic, but I think I'd like to get back into something with more worldbuilding, so either the sequel to Woven Threads (the fic where it seems people stopped reading when they realized I wasn't shipping teenage Bangtan. Like really? JK is like 14 in that fic, that's not happening until both ppl in the ship are at least 17) or a Royalty A/B/O fic.  
> Haven't decided yet. What do you think?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I lied and I'm posting the day after the last chapter was posted, but I had more time work on this than I'd expected.
> 
> Also, it is very angsty. Like, real angsty. Just a warning. 
> 
> Oh, one more warning! Yoongi gets down on himself in large part because he doesn't think he as a fan matters to New Age or to Jungkook. Obviously, that is not true within this story.   
> But I don't think that is true in real life either. I think MOST artists (whatever that art may be) truly love and appreciate their fans. You are loved as part of a special collective with a very special relationship with the artists who open themselves to you.

Yoongi is wet, tired, smelly and his arms ache. But he didn’t have to talk to a single stuffy, self-important person all evening.

So, still better than working as a host.

Yoongi quickly headed to the large walk in freezer to retrieve the weird ice pack sling Seojun had crafted for Yoongi to wear after his shift. He’d been surprised when the kitchen attendant had presented him with the gauze, athletic bandage and blue ice pack contraption. Seojun hadn’t been quiet either, humming the theme song from, Wakfu?, Yoongi was pretty sure it was Wakfu, before loudly presenting ‘warrior Yoongi’ with this specialized ‘healing pack’ so he could ‘boost his health’ after long battles with ‘dirty dishes, destroyer of kitchen efficiency.’

Yoongi had been embarrassed, but his new co-workers had just been amused. Seojun’s wrap thing worked pretty well, icing his shoulder all the way home then Yoongi would switch to heat with a large bean thing Hoseok had lent to him.

After grabbing the ice pack thing, Yoongi headed back to the employee area. He dropped his apron and over shirt in the dirty clothes bin, then wrapped Seojun’s invention around his shoulder and pulled another shirt on over that. He followed that with a thick, worn sweatshirt, a huge scarf his aunt knit for him in highschool and a thick beanie. Yoongi was trying to wait to pull out any of his real coats, knowing they wouldn’t be thick enough for the coming winter. It was better to let himself get used to always being at least a little cold when he was outside.

It might only be mid October, but Seoul was already cold, especially at night.

Yoongi didn’t pull out his phone until he made it to his subway stop.

Well, fuck.

He’d missed Jungkook on Masked Singer.

Yoongi ignored the messages from Ten and Seokjin about the show and pulled out his 5,000 won headphones to watch himself. He mentally debated waiting until he got home and watch on a bigger screen, but he was more interested in hearing Jungkook sing.

From what little Yoongi had read from Ten’s messages, Jungkook was supposed to be a fencing man? Yoongi searched Naver and found the appropriate clip.

Ah, okay, guess that made sense.

Yoongi stared at the screen while fencing man sang ‘If You’ by Big Bang. It was a good choice, giving Jungkook more opportunity to shine than most of the songs New Age released. It was beautiful. Why had he been de-masked?

Yoongi listened to the judges comments about fencing man’s performance, then skipped past to the next performance.

Ya, that was unfair. Jungkook was talented, and he had been well-trained. But talent, hard-work and training can’t beat those same three things plus experience. Jungkook had been paired to compete against an amazing ballad singer. Yoongi made a mental note to look on his regular fancafe and remind some of the less mature Navies not to harass the very talented singer for his well-deserved win whenever he was revealed. 

Yoongi skipped ahead again to Jungkook’s reveal.

The judges seemed amazed and they all complimented Jungkook’s vocal abilities. One even said he was too good to be an idol singer, which Yoongi thought a little offensive, but considering Jungkook’s abilities and how little he had been showcased on New Age albums, the judge was not completely wrong.

Yonogi put his phone away and decided to watch the previous week’s performance when he got home.

The longer Yoongi sat and waited for his stop, the more the good feeling his chest began to curdle.

Yoongi, along with other fans, had advocated Jungkook be on Masked Singer for about 10 months. It was the perfect program for someone as shy and talented as Jungkook. Yoongi was sure singing while masked would give Jungkook the opportunity to disappear into his performance instead of focusing on the cameras.

And he’d been so, so good. Yoongi was so proud.

But a quick search on Naver showed that Navies had suspected fencing man was Jungkook since his first challenge the week before. Yoongi had no idea. Between his two jobs and his work at home producing, he hadn’t had time to get on Navie fancafes, watch New Age lives or even attend a meet-up.

He’d basically disappeared from the fandom.

Yoongi got off at his stop and hurried home. Along with being relatively cheap, his apartment was also a three minute walk from his subway stop. He trudged up the stairs of his building and into his apartment, cursing the two broken elevators. Yoongi toed off his shoes then stumbled into the kitchen to heat up that bean thing. He knew as soon as he sat down, he’d be done for the night.

He was too tired after climbing six flights of stairs to watch Jungkook’s first Masked Singer trial.

Yoongi shed his many layers and removed Seojun’s contraption, then replaced it with the long, hot bean wrap.

He then carefully made his way to his bed and laid on his stomach so the bean thingie didn’t move. He tried to let the soft sheets and the warmth of the pack lull him to sleep.

But he kept thinking about Jungkook, and himself. Yoongi and turned the lights off when he entered the room, but he thought about the posters of Jungkook and the other N/A members plastered to his walls. Once or twice in the past two years Yoongi had thought about bringing a girl or guy back to his place. But even if they’d been understanding of his crummy apartment, which wasn’t too big a hurdle since a hook-up is likely to appreciate a lack of roommates, how would he explain away the idol singers covering his bedroom?Would a quick, meaningless orgasm be worth the jokes and awkward conversation? Probably not.

Yoongi knew he was using New Age, using Jungkook, to avoid the messiest parts of his own life. In the beginning, it seemed a fair trade. Yoongi would dedicate a large portion of his cash, time and attention to New Age and Jungkook…

Jungkook had at least one dedicated fan, one die-hard. He deserved more, so much more, but Yoongi decided that if he was going to use Jungkook and New Age to block out his own pain, then he’d make sure there was something in it for Jungkook as well.

But, had Yoongi really done anything for Jungkook, anything at all? Sure, he’d bought some albums and he’d helped with special birthday surprises.

That didn’t really do a whole lot though, not in the grand scheme of things. Look at how much better Jungkook had been since Yoongi stopped going to fan events.

The singer was more active on VLives, he’d agreed to go on Masked Singer and he’d even started using his Instagram again after six months of silence.

If Yoongi needed proof, there it was; having such a vocal weird, older male friend had held Jungkook back.

Fuck, was Yoongi the reason Jungkook was less willing to talk with other fans? Was Jungkook worried he’d end up with another Yoongi?

The beans had started to cool, so Yoongi let himself curl up on his side, the bean thing now covering only part of his shoulder.

Maybe Yoongi was just as pathetic as people say, obsessing over an idol.

He thought about Ten, about the group of teenage girls who’d somehow adopted him, of Mingyu’s goofy group of stans, the Thai college students who always made special banners for BamBam and the international fans he’d “bumped into” online and at concerts.

No, they aren’t pathetic, or desperate, or tasteless. 

But maybe he was. 

Well, not tasteless. 

Yoongi will always believe Jungkook is one of the most talented performers and singers of the decade, and the other New Age guys are also wonderfully talented and deserving. 

But that doesn’t mean Yoongi personally hasn’t used Jungkook and New Age to avoid his own dreams and responsibilities. He’d put so much of his broken self into cheering for Jungkook he’d stopped trying to be, well, to be human. 

Even if the singer didn’t hate Yoongi, who would want that for their fans? 

Either Jungkook would be better off without Yoongi’s visible support, or Yoongi was already letting Jungkook down by giving up on himself. 

Something had to change. What, Yoongi had no fucking clue, but he couldn’t move forward like this. He needed to move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was sad!
> 
> If you haven't noticed, I really, really like inserting random off-the-wall characters. I think of them as my own little versions of the cabbage guy from ATLA.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here....we....go!

Jungkook was playing his switch on Jimin and Taehyung’s couch while Jimin scrolled through Naver and Taehyung did….something on his own phone.

It was nice, to sit and do absolutely nothing with some of his closest friends. Usually they were all so busy that even nights in felt like an event. This week he’d managed to come hang out with the couple three separate nights.

Well, the night had been a little special. Jungkook had offered to cook for them and while the meal hadn’t been perfect, Tae and Jimin were both impressed Jungkook didn’t call “a real adult” once. Jimin’s mother purposely kept her cell phone next to her around dinner time because she knew Jimin would call for advice, likely the same advice she’d given him the previous week.

Jungkook lost his match and put the switch down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He stretched, purposely jostling both Jimin and Tae.

“I’m getting some snacks. Either of you want something?”

Honey crisps, of course.

Jungkook grabbed a large bag of honey crisps and shrimp flavored crisps. All that salty food would make them crave sweets, so he grabbed some chocolates as well.

He stopped to check the New Age group chat before heading back into the living room. His phone had been buzzing for the past 20 minutes, proof Yugyeom had stolen Jungkook’s phone and turned notifications back on for their chat.

Seokmin and Minghao had gotten in contact with an American producer they liked and were moving ahead on their music, with Jang Yijeong, GFriend’s lead producer, working on the track as well.

Yijeong, professionally known as El Capitxn, was also working on two songs with Gfriend’s other producers, Jaehyun, BamBam and Mingyu. According to the chat, Jaehyun wanted all of them to give feedback on one of the songs within the next few hours. The other group song El Capitxn was lead producing had hit a snag, so they wanted to get the “beachy song” completed in case things didn’t work out with the other piece.

Jungkook promised to listen and give his feedback later that night, then asked if Eunha had gotten in contact with the rapper who helped produce one of their singles.

BamBam liked Jungkook’s comment then filled the chat with question marks, exclamation marks and a few key smashes.

Jungkook slipped his phone back in his pocket, unwilling to wait around for Jaehyun’s reply.

“Yaaah!!!! Jungkookie, come watch this with me!!!”

Jungkook brought the snacks into the living room and reclaimed his spot cuddled up between his hyungs.

“What is it?”

Taehyung fiddled with his phone, casting a video onto their TV screen.

“There’s a video of RM, Suga and J-Hope performing acapella last month? I don’t even know how you do that!”

Jimin leaned forward squinting at the screen.

“ Jegichagi song, what the fuck does that mean?”

Taehyung had grabbed Jungkook’s arm and was bouncing in his seat.

“I don’t know, I don’t know, let's find out!”

He pressed play.

Jungkook recognized the stage from his trip to Hongdae with Jimin and Tae, but whoever filmed the video was standing right next to the stage instead of sitting at one of the tables. J-Hope was doing, body rolls? Even though there was no music?

Eventually J-Hope stopped and clapped for himself, as did RM. SUga wasn’t in the frame.

“Alright, we have Hongdae’s official second sexiest body roller! What you guys want to do next?”

J-Hope and RM talked briefly then both nodded before RM turned and yelled at Suga.

“Suga, stop making heart eyes at the sound engineer, we’re doing the jegichagi song.”

A groan could be heard on the video then Suga waddle-ran into frame.

The three rappers talked at the middle of the stage, then RM pulled out his phone and started playing some beat, holding his own mic against the phone speaker.

Suga grabbed J-Hope’s mic. Then turned to the crowd with a grin.

“We’ll pass the mics, now it’s really like jegichagi.”

And Jungkook

Froze

The song started with RM’s verse, then J-Hope, then Suga, each one changing the flow as they passed the mic.

Jungkook could hear Jimin ask what the fuck they were doing, as Taehyung geeked out, explaining how difficult it is for rappers to change their flow that often in one song.

But Jungkook wasn’t paying attention to his friends. He wasn’t really paying attention to the song either.

He was watching Suga. He was watching Yoongi.

Yoongi, no mask, not glasses, no hat, grinning and playing around on stage, spitting intense bars on a silly, gimmick song.

Jungkook had missed so many chances with Yoongi. Somehow this one hurt worse then all of them.

No, not worse than the time Yoongi delivered their dinner. But it still hurt. Did Yoongi know how much Jungkook admired him? Did he know how much Jungkook loved his music?

A lot of Suga’s music was cocky and angry, but Jungkook had cried listening to some of Suga’s other work detailing his mental health struggles, the fights with his family, his struggle to survive in Seoul.

All of that was Yoongi.

“Jungkook, baby, what's wrong?”

Jimin pulled Jungkook against his shoulder and wiped Jungkook’s cheeks. He hadn’t realized he’d started to cry.

“Jungkookie, you can tell us anything,” Taehyung said.

He slid off the couch and knelt in the little space between Jungkook’s legs and the coffee table. Tae took Jungkook’s hands in his own and kissed the back of the younger’s hands.

“Suga, Suga is Yoongi.”

Taehyung’s eyes went wide and his head whipped around to the TV screen. Jimin squinted at the screen again.

“Holy fuck Kook!”

Jimin nodded in agreement with his boyfriend.

“Yea, if Suga isn’t Yoongi, then they’re identical twins.”

All three sat and watched Yoongi rap.

“Wait, fuck, Jungkookie, fuck!”

Jungkook looked at Tae, who was once again bouncing up and down.

“RM is GFriend’s outside producer, and you guys are going to probably work with RM, and he obviously knows Yoongi!”

Tae was right. Tae was right.

Jungkook stood up and pulled his phone out from his back pocket.

Did Jaehyun reply?

Jungkook opened the group chat. Yes, there was a reply from Jaehyun.

He’d gotten in touch with RM and…

Jungkook sat back down.

“WHAT! WHAT!” Jimin was standing on the couch. Tae was pulling his hair, still seated on the ground.

“Jaehyun said he got in contact with RM. And RM asked we’d be interested in partners getting involved too.”

Jimin started punching the air and Tae screeched.

“Jungkookie, Jungkookie, you’re going to meet Yoongi! I know it, I fucking know it!”

Jungkook started to laugh. It probably sounded a little hysterical, but he didn’t care.

Jungkook opened up the group chat. He told Jaehyun to ask RM to bring J-Hope and Suga in to produce. Jungkook bit his lip, trying to decide if he should tell the guys now or when he got back to the dorm.

Fuck it, Jungkook never caused drama on the group chat. It was time he drop a bomb.

Yoongi is Suga

Jungkook typed it out then hit send. His phone started vibrating with all their replies.

Jungkook laughed again, then showed his phone screen to Tae, still sitting on the floor, then Jimin, still standing on the couch.

“I, I gotta go! I gotta talk to the guys!”

Jimin jumped off the couch.

“Of course! Do you need us to drive you back?”

“Actually, yea, I think that would be the fastest way to get back.”

All three were smiling and laughing.

He was going to meet Yoongi! He was going to work with Yoongi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, do guys really think its going to be that easy for Jungkook to see Yoongi again?


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so maybe its more like I disappear for a few days then come back with multiple chapters.

Yoongi felt his phone vibrate twice on his thigh. He’d have to take a look after they catch up with the lunch rush dishes.

Tuesdays and Wednesdays are usually slower, so they’d probably be caught up soon.

Kyuchul nodded his head toward some pots and pans from the kitchen. Yooongi nodded back and got to work.

Most of the plates, silverware, pots and pans can go through one of the two large dish washing machines. Yoongi and the other dishwashers carefully load trays and send the items through the 20 minute intense wash, then they pull out the tray and place the clean dishes back on racks to be used or scrub any stuck on food or soap residue that didn’t come off in the wash.

The restaurant is nice. Customers walk in and are greeted by a host who offers to show them to the bar or have them wait for a table. When their table is ready, customers wind their way through false walls and other candlelit tables to their own seats.

The menu focuses on international foods, like Italian, French and Spanish staples, though there are one or two traditional Korean staples available as well.

But the prices aren’t too high, and the decor is not too fancy. If Yoongi came to the restaurant, it would be a pretty big set back to his wallet, but he could imagine putting a little aside for three months in order to treat one of his friends or a date. For those making more than Yoongi, so most people in Seoul, it was the kind of place to have a nice date or family meal without it being so nice that it must be a special occasion.

One of the favorite items on the menu was lasagna. It was a weird dish Yoongi just couldn’t trust. The architectural integrity of the dish seemed suspect. Layered noodles and just going to stay in that shape, cut out into bricks?

But the worst thing about lasagna was the pans, plates and silverware. You couldn’t just run them through the dishwasher. They had to be scrubbed by hand.

Yoongi was elbow deep in the large pot they used for the in house pasta sauce, another item that had to be scrubbed, when he felt his phone vibrate again. He felt water splash against his crotch and mentally thanked Jin again for getting him a small waterproof wallet-thing to protect his phone while he worked.

He pushed the messages from his mind and let himself go back to the argument he’d been having with himself for the past week.

Should he still save up for New Age’s next comeback?

He’d already decided it would be best if he stopped going to fan events. Jungkook didn’t need Yoongi bothering him like that.

Yoongi would obviously still buy a physical copy of the album. And if there wasa coffee cup or water bottle that looked cool, something he could actually use, he’d let himself buy that.

But that was it.

The one question, the only thing Yoongi was still considering, would he save up for concert tickets?

He loved live music. And if Yoongi liked an artist, whether it was friend playing in Itaewon or scrounging enough money to see Eminem in concert when he was in college, Yoongi would make sure to see them perform live.

And N/A concerts weren’t just about seeing New Age. New Age concerts meant hanging out with Ten, watching over the girls and sometimes having grown up discussions with their parents. It meant meeting and helping international fans, catching up with some of the fansites and charity groups within the fandom.

N/A concerts meant being surrounded by a couple thousand people who understood this love. His friends were kind and completely accepting of Yoongi being a Navie. He’s pretty sure all three of them, even Jin, would have physically fought someone if they made fun of Yoongi for being an idol fan.

But they didn’t really understand. They didn’t share the same passion. Could Yoongi really give that up?

Could Yoongi go and watch Jungkook perform, watch him sing, dance, smile and laugh with his members, without falling back into that hole when Yoongi was trying to claw his way out?

He was trying to refocus on his own dream, trying to keep N/A as a hobby, not an obsession.

All the hand wash items were done. Yoongi got the all clear to take a quick break.

Yoongi pulled out his phone and read his messages. They were from Namjoon.

The first told Yoongi to call him.

Then Namjoon remembered Yoongi was at work, so he wrote it all out.

Some of the members from GFriend had liked RM’s work on their song and passed his contact information along to New Age.

Jaehyun had contacted RM about helping produce their next album.

And they wanted J-Hope and Suga too.

What….

What?

Yoongi, he, didn’t, what?

New Age, Jaehyun asked for him? For Suga?

Fuck

The pleasant buzzing inYoongi’s head crashed. They all knew what he looked like, as Yoongi. He’d made a fucking idiot of himself at enough fan events they’d likely remember him.

Fuck

But he’d made a promise, both to himself and to Jungkook, thought Jungkook would never know, that Yoongi would dedicate himself to his music.

That he would fight for himself, and take ever opportunity presented. That he wouldn’t use New Age as an excuse to run from those possibilities.

Fuck

Those were his options, weren’t they? Run from this, because it was so embarrassing and overwhelming, even the thought of New Age knowing he was Suga.

Or, or, he could do this and finally work with a real entertainment company, get his name out there, work on a project he believed in, though others might find it funny underground rapper Suga would work for an idol group.

Yoongi turned over the two options in his head.

He finished the rest of his shift in a daze, thinking about everything that could go wrong, that could go right.

By the time he left the restaurant, Yoongi had come up with a third option.

He called Namjoon while walking to his subway stop.

“Hey, Joon-ah, I’m in, but on one condition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any bets on Yoongi's one condition?


	22. Chapter 22

Today, Jungkook was going to meet Yoongi. All morning the other members had taken turns snuggling Jungkook, talking to him about the most recent adjustments in Overwatch, forcing him to join them in silly dances or planning future pranks.

(The wonder duo of Yugyeom and BamBam had something great planned for Mingyu. Jungkook had promised to film it on his actual camera in high res.)

It’s nice that Jungkook’s freak out can distract the other members from their own nerves about their first album production meeting.

Minghao had come up with this really cool, abstract idea for the album theme. He wanted all of their music to fit common emotions and experiences that happen in the times between night and day.

At first, Jungkook had been confused. Minghao tried multiple times to explain that feeling of in between that happens at dawn and twilight, that place one sometimes feels like they are rushing through, or other times it feels like a magic, minimal place about to disappear.

Finally, after most of their other members had grasped the concept, Minghao had sighed and grabbed Jungkook’s hands.

“JK, if we went out right now, me and you with your camera, and you filmed the two of us enjoying a day at Lotte World, from now, in the late afternoon, until 10 at night, what would it look like? What kind of shots would fit that time? What would you want your viewer to feel?”

Jungkook had gasped. He got it. He got it perfectly. He could almost hear it, the different music he’d want to play over shots of Minghao’s face smiling in different amounts of fading sunlight.

Minghao had smiled and nodded. Jungkook had nodded back. 

It was perfect.

And today they’d present it to their team, the regular GFriend producers, and…

And Yoongi, and his friends.

They’d reserved one of the larger conference rooms, and New Age had arrived first, all showing poorly concealed nerves.

El Capitxn took one look at their group and sighed before asking one of the managers to wait for the other producers at the front of the building.

“We wouldn’t want them to get lost and ask Minyeom or his groupies for directions.”

Jungkook heard DK grumble next to him.

Eunha had given them some advice for the meeting, which was good because they’d never really been included in the production of their own music. Bring notes on what they want, ask questions even if they sound dumb and write everything down. Jaehyun had directed each of them to bring a notebook and at least two pens.

Jungkook couldn’t stop playing with the pen cap.

He’d see Yoongi soon, he’d see Yoongi soon, he’d see Yoongi soon.

The door opened and, three men came in.

First Sejin, then RM, then J-Hope and-

Then they closed the door.

Yoongi wasn’t here. Jungkook couldn’t breath. He felt Mingyu grab his hand under the table. Jungkook squeezed back.

“Where is Suga? Running late?,” Yugeyom asked.

J-Hope looked at RM. The other rapper just smiled.

“Suga is a very private person. As a producer, he does not directly interact outside of his team. Surely you know this is common.”

Jungkook saw Yugyeom’s face flush.

RM just smiled again and the two rappers moved to sit across the table from the New Age members.

“It is common, but with the tight deadline, wouldn’t it be more efficient if Suga also worked with us in person?” Jaehyun said.

Jungkook was always grateful Jaehyun had taken leadership of New Age when no one else wanted to but, right then he was extra grateful to their leader.

J-Hope’s eyes turned into slits and RM’s jaw somehow clenched even harder.

“If you still want Suga to be involved in this project, you will accept that he will not be meeting with any of you in person. He is a very busy, very private person, and the only way I convinced him to join this project was by promising his time and privacy would be respected.”

Jaehyun maintained eye contact with RM, but his throat bobbed. Seokmin and BamBam both sent worried looks to Jungkook.

He felt like he was going to cry, but he wasn’t going to fuck this up for his memebers. Jungkkok forced back his tears and whispered to DK.

“Please, please start talking about the concept.”

DK grabbed Jungkook’s hand, the one not turning white in Mingyu’s grasp, and cleared his throat.

“Ah, so, that was weird, and there's this tension now, grows, but ah, how about The8 tell you our idea for the album concept?”

Seokmin looked down the table at Minghao. After an awkward moment of silence, Minghao jumped into his explanation.

RM’s face slowly shifted. His jaw unclenched and his eyes lit up. Eventually he was smiling and nodding. He had dimples. Jungkook was little surprised how different the rapper looked when he smiled.

“We’ve already almost finished one song,” El Capitxn said. “It’s close to a typical summer pop song, but our goal is for the song to have more a feel like something you’d listen to while on the beach, watching the sun set.”

The producer had pulled out his phone and pushed a button. THe rough draft of the song, along with Jaehyun singing as a guide, filled the room.

Both the rappers were nodding and smiling, then J-Hope cocked his head to the side at the bridge.

Wait, ah, go back….this, why don’t you slow it and distort the sound a little bit, give it an effect like the listener is underwater while the song is played above the surface.

The producer nodded back and quickly scribbled down some notes on his phone.

“So, what else are you all thinking about?”

Jaehyun, Minghao and Seokmin took turns answering RM’s question about the other songs planned for the album, both those New Age wanted the trio of rappers to produce, and the ones the Gfriend team or the American producer were completing.

J-Hope listened carefully while RM took notes.

“Okay so that’s…. 11 songs, right?”

Jungkook’s felt his throat close he hadn’t even talked about this with the others, but-

“I want a solo.”

J-Hope’s eyes grew wide. Jungkook heard Sejin cough from somewhere else in the room. Mingyu’s grip on Jungkook’s hand tightened again.

“I, ah, it’s, I’ve never had a solo track. I, I think it is about time I, I fully, ah contribute to this, this team.”

RM and J-Hope both stared at him. He felt his face grow hot. He’d already brought up the solo, there was no point stopping now.

“I think Suga should be the main producer on, on my solo.”

The room was silent for a beat, then J-Hope spoke up.

“Why?”

It was a fair question. Jungkook liked to play with progressions, sliding scales, things like that. Of the three rappers, J-Hope was the one who seemed to produce songs with those kinds of stylings.

Also, Jungkook’s covers were often slow, beautiful ballads, an area where RM had a fair amount of experience. Not that J-Hope and Suga couldn’t produce those works, but a quick look at their Soundclouds’ would have suggested RM was the best choice for Jungkook, maybe J-Hope, depending on the song.

Not Suga, unless…

Unless Jungkook had spent the past two years listening to Yoongi explain all little things he liked about Jungkook’s voice, his choices in covers, the color he added to certain verses. Yoongi had also talked about all the ways Songbird wasn’t doing enough with Jungkook’s amazing talent.

Yoongi, Suga, was the right producer for Jungkook’s first solo.

RM took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’ll talk to Suga.”

Jungkook nodded back then sunk back in his chair, letting the rest of the meeting drift over him. He should have engaged, this is what they’d asked for, to be involved in making their music, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how Yoongi looked in that video Tae found, smiling and joking, cocky and happy, compared to the last time he’d seen Yoongi in person at Jimin and Tae’s apartment.

At the end of the meeting, Jungkook scribbled his Kakaow ID on the corner of his notes, then ripped it off and hurried to catch RM and J-Hope before they left the conference room.

“H, h-here.”

Jungkook shoved the paper at RM.

“Um if, ah, if Suga decides he’s, he’s willing to work with me, or, ah work on my solo, I ah, want him to have my contact, if, if he, wants to, to talk or anything.”

The last few words came out as a whisper. Jungkook didn’t want to look up and see RM’s face, or J-Hope’s, so he just stared at their feet. He felt a strong arm around his shoulders, Jaehyun, then heard the leader ask Sejin to see the producers to the front door.

Once the rappers and GFriend’s producers left the room, Jaehyun pulled Jungkook into a hug. He let himself cry while Mingyu wrapped himself around Jungkook’s back. He felt a hand, probably Yugyeom’s, in his hair.

BamBam somehow burrowed his face through all the arms and rested his forehead on Jungkook’s temple.

“You’ve got us, no matter what, you’ve got us a whole fucking bunch of other people who love you and here for you, JK. We’ve got your back.”

Jungkook pushed his head against BamBam’s in thanks.

Even in this, Jungkook was so, so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jungkookie


	23. Chapter 23

“ALRIGHT EVERYBODY!!!!”

Hoseok shouted into the mic, reigniting the crowd.

“Now, I know Itaewon’s got Halloween on lockdown, but we’re gonna have a little early celebration right here in Hongdae tonight, are you ready!!!!!”

Yoongi laughed while the crowd cheered.

“So, you may or may not know that we also produce music and our very own RM here helped produce a very popular girl group song earlier this year!”

Some of the crowd laughed but there were also cheers.

Yoongi was really fucking glad it was Hoseok on the mic, he was good at getting people to see his side of things.

“That’s right, our RM is one versatile fucker, and not just in how he fucks, right RM!”

Namjoon was hiding his face in his hands. Yoongi was laughing and he could faintly hear Jin’s distinct laugh backstage.

“As I’m sure you all know, I don’t just rap, I don’t just produce, I also dance, that’s right! Hope on the Street make sure you’re following!”

Hoseok was strutting around the stage at this point. Yoongi pulled off his cap and pushed the hair back from his face then put his cap back on, though backwards. He loved Hobi, he really did, but he was ready to get this over with.

“WELL, I have forced my companions to learn the dance that goes along with “Second Go,” the song our RM helped produce. Are you guys ready to see it!”

This time the crowd all cheered, with some whistle and hoots as well.

Hoseok laughed, head thrown back.

“Now, we had to adjust it a little bit because of SUga’s fucked up arm, but here it is! Are you guys ready!!”

The crowd cheered again while Namjoon and Suga took their spots on either side of Hoseok. No way were they going to be the center of this mess. Minsoo, the great unfulfilled love of Yoongi’s life, started the song.

And they danced.

Hoseok hammed it up the whole time, Joonie sang along at the top of his lungs to the words he wrote. Yoongi could even see some of the crowd right in front of the stage dancing and singing along.

By the second chorus Yoongi couldn’t stop laughing.

That goofy, fun, all-together feeling lasted the rest of the show. They joked around a little more with the crowd than they usually did, and Namjoon even made a joke about Seokjin kicking him out of their bedroom if he wore his sweaty stage clothes too far into their apartment.

After the show, they practically skipped off stage to the back room where Jin was waiting for them.

“Ya, Jung Hoseok, I need to start taking lessons with you, Namjoonie too!”

Jin threw them each water bottles as they entered the room.

“Seokjin hyungie, it was such a good crowd, such a good crowd,” Yoongi said while stripping of his gross, sweaty shirt.

He wiped himself down with a towel Jin must have dampened before their set. Yoongi saw a small smile on Jin’s face in the room’s one mirror.

“Ya, Yoongichi, it's good to see you like that.”

Jin turned to Namjoon and Hoseok , also rubbing themselves down.

“It's good to see all three of you like that.”

“Aigoo, Kim Seokjin! I’m not having complexe emotions tonight! I refuse!”

The three quickly changed and dosed themselves liberally with perfume before leaving the back room. The club wasn’t closed, but they were the last performance of the night. Yoongi, Joon, Hbi and Jin made their way a few blocks down the street to their usual place. The food was good, quick and filling.

It was also more popular with people either getting done with a late shift or heading in to start work a few hours before dawn.

Yoongi scarfed down his jigaji when his phone chimed. He grabbed his phone off the table.

“Ya, Yoongichi, are you going to answer your phone right here at the table.”

Yoongi clicked his tongue at Jin.

“It's just a social media notification, relax!”

Yoongi pulled up the notification. Jungkook posted. He tapped to open the link.

It was a picture. It was dark, with stage lights from the background providing the only real light source. Jungkook and Park Jimin were in the foreground, smiling. And behind them was Yoongi.

The picture was from earlier that night in the club, taken while Yoongi, Suga, was rapping. Jungkook had been close enough to the stage that Yoongi’s face was clearly visible in the shot.

“Hyung, hyung, what’s wrong.”

Hobi grabbed Yoongi’s arm.

“Great night, Great show”- That’s how Jungkook had captioned the picture. 

Yoongi groaned and dropped his head to the table, then handed his phone to Hoseok.

“Oh fuck, Joonie, you were right.”

Yoongi felt Namjoon lean over him to grab the phone. Jin choked on his food. He must have looked over Joon’s shoulder.

After Joon and Hobi met with New Age a couple days before, Namjoon had told Yoongi he thought Jungkook knew who Suga was Yoongi. Hobi hadn’t been too sure, so Yoongi had ignored it.

That was the best way to stay sane.

But now he knew.

Jungkook knew Suga and Yoongi were the same person and he’d…

He’d asked Suga, Yoongi, to produce his first solo.

Yoongi felt Joon lean down so he was close to Yoongi’s ear. He also started rubbing Yoongi’s back.

“Hyung, I didn’t tell you before, because I thought it was for the best, in case he didn’t know it was you. But, he also gave me his contact, asked me to give it to Suga, in case you agreed to work on his solo.”

Yoongi took a deep breath, head still on the table. After another second or two he sat up. Seokjin was sitting across from Yoongi. He was shocked too. Good, Yoongi wasn’t the only one.

“What do I do hyung?”

Jin blinked a few times.

“Fuck if I know what to do about your idol. But right now, you put it away to deal with tomorrow and you eat your food. You earned it tonight.”

Yoongi nodded and went back to his food. Jin was right, Jungkook was a problem- no, never a problem.

The Jungkook situation was something Yoongi would deal with tomorrow. RIght now, he was going to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are ever so slowly moving forward.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is a shortie.

Jungkook was playing with his food. He should be hungry after such a long day recording for the still unnamed beachy song,but he was just tired.

“Hey.”

Jungkook looked up to see Mingyu, DK and Jaehyun walking his table in the company cafeteria with their own trays of food. DK and Jaehyun plopped their trays down across from Jungkook and started digging in. Those two, along with Minghao, had taken on most of the work from New Age’s side when it came to production of the group song.

Jungkook was pretty sure they’d been up all night working with El Capitxn and his team on another song that wasn’t coming together.

“Should have known,” Seokmin had joked earlier, “It's about waking up to watch the sunrise. Who the fuck wants to do that?”

They were all working hard on their subunit songs as well.

Mingyu, Seokmin and Minghao were working with another GFriend producer and the producer in America on a subunit song about missed chances.

Then BamBam and Yugyeom were working on….something, no one was completely sure what, but they’d asked Jaehyun to provide some vocals once it was completed.

Each of them would also be called into one of the GFriend studios off and on throughout the day for another group song Gfriend producers were trying to rework for New Age.

The song had originally been submitted for the girls, but it hadn’t fit any of their recent albums. Sowon had actually suggested giving it to New Age.

“Hey, how are you feeling about everything?”

Jungkook smiled at Mingyu, who just sighed and rested his head on Jungkook’s shoulder.

He hadn’t told them about going to Yoongi’s show on Saturday night, but they’d all seen the picture.

Yoongi still hadn’t called, or messaged him. RM and J-Hope, who’d eventually asked to be called Namjoon and Hoseok, were working on most of the projects, emails and sound files flying back and forth.

Sometimes there would be additional edits or suggestions on songs Namjoon attributed to Suga, but the third producer had not directly contacted any of the New Age members or the rest of the production team.

A tray touched down on the table, then another one.

Judging by the way Mingyu tensed up, one of the additional table mates was Yuju.

“Hey, guys, how is production going?”

Seokmin groaned and slid his tray forward, giving him room to hit his head on the table. Yuju laughed and reached over to pat his head.

“Ya, you’re such a baby”, Yewon said.

Seokmin’s head rolled on the table until one eye looked at Umji.

“Ya, don’t be such a weirdo. I’m glad you’ve already been paired with noona for the covers.”

Right.

They still needed to record their covers as well. Jungkook felt himself frown.

“Mingyu, do you already have your partner?”

Mingyu had been frozen in place since Yuju sat down next to him, but at Yewon’s question, Jungkook felt the other man start squirming.

“Um, haha, I ah, I was gonna ask Yerin! Maybe Jaehyun can join us too, right Jaehyun?”

Jungkook grimaced. 

Mingyu was panicking.

Jungkook leaned forward just far enough to see Yuju.

Her face was blank, a bad kind of blank, and her knuckles had turned white on the edge of her lunch tray.

Why did Mingyu pull this kind of shit? How was the girl, no, the woman he liked supposed to know he was interested when he acted like this?

It was hard to watch Mingyu go from a bright, loud, sweet person to a fearful, mostly silent and often rude person whenever Yuju was nearby.

For Yuju, it must have been exhausting, putting up with Mingyu’s shit.

“Jungkook.”

He looked back to Yuju.

Her face was still blank and she was staring straight ahead.

“Um, yes?”

“How about we do our cover together. I’ve got a song in mind. It’s a little simple, but that will give us more room to play.”

Jungkook nodded, then realized Yuju couldn’t see him through Mingyu, the idiot statue.

“Yes, yes, that sounds great.”

“Good, well, I’m going to go book studio time for us this afternoon. Enjoy lunch!”

She got up quickly, leaving her tray and ignoring Umji’s “unnie?”

Umji then gave Mingyu a dark look before punching his arm.

“Ya! Why are you punching me!”

Jaehyun snorted and Seokmin answered from where he was still laying on the table.

“Because you’re an idiot.”

Mingyu turned to Jungkook, eyes wide and lip out in a pout.

Jungkook had food in his mouth so he just nodded.

“After we’re done eating, you’re in charge of clearing her tray, got it?”

Mingyu nodded to Umji and went back to his own meal. Jungkook sighed and went back to his own meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song Yuju and Jungkook sing.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XjWeNm9o24
> 
> It is very cute and upbeat, but when I read the words I started thinking about some slight changes one could make to the underlying music as well as how the singers performed the song to add a little longing, a little sadness.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, since the last update was so short.

Yoongi did not take care of the Jungkook situation.

Over the next few days, he spent all his time working or going over songs with Joon and Hobi, Jin trying hard to keep them all fed and watered. He’d fought Yoongi into the bathroom for a shower at least once in the week after their early Halloween show.

Yoongi considered the work they still had to do while walking from the coffee shop to Joon and Jin’s apartment.

The subunit songs were mostly completed, at least on their end of things. Hoseok was working with the in-house producers on the beachy group song, and the other one they’d added about the moon and the sun was really, really rough. Yoongi wouldn’t be surprised if they scrapped it.

And Jungkook’s solo.

Yoongi was working on the final guide to a couple different options for the singer.

He still hadn’t contacted Jungkook, but he’d quickly given in and agreed to produce Jungkook’s solo.

Yoongi already had multiple songs on his hard drive he’d written with Jungkook in mind, as Namjoon less than delicately pointed out the day after their last concert.

Yoongi let himself into his friends’ apartment.

Jungkook was singing.

What? That-

Oh

Yoongi walked into the spare bedroom turned studio, where Namjoon and Hoseok were listening to a cover.

Jungkook and Yuju were covering “I Can Only See You”, a song from some show. Jungkook’s friend, Kim Taehyung, had been part of the cast.

He could feel Joon’s eyes.

“Did you contact him?”

Yoongi licked his lips and shook his head. He heard Hoseok sigh, but his eyes were still stuck on the screen of the computer. The company had filmed short videos of the two in the recording both to play over the audio.

If Yoongi remembered correctly, the original version was upbeat and simple, a little too simple for Yoongi’s taste.

The singers had further slowed down the song, and took turns with the melody and their own seemingly improvised harmonies. They’d turned a cheerful song about a crush into something sad and full of longing.

Yuju and Jungkook both showed off their full vocal range while begging this unnamed person to end their wait.

Yoongi’s hands itched for paper and pen.

“Hyung.”

Yoongi tore his face from the screen. He wanted to reach over and press play, listen to the song again and again and again.

Hoseok’s face was serious. He reached out and grabbed one of Yoongi’s hands. Yoongi felt Joon grab the other.

This was good, Yoongi was very pro-hand holding.

“Hyung, this is the point where you have to decide. They’ve asked us to come in next week and work in their studios, bang everything out in a couple all day, late night sessions.”

Yoongi looked down at his hand in Hoseok’s, swung them a little to avoid replying.

“Jaehyun.”

Joon paused then. Yoongi could hear the hesitation, like he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say. Yoongi wanted to tell Namjoon to speak, his clumsy dongsaeng rarely said the wrong thing.

Joon shook their hands, and Yoongi finally looked at Namjoon. He looked worried, worried for Yoongi.

“Jaehyun said Jungkook is giving up hope you’ll work with him on the solo. He’s talked about pulling it from the album.”

Yoongi’s chest cracked.

No

No, no, no

Jungkook couldn’t, he couldn’t give up. And Yoongi had made him feel like that.

He wanted to curl up in a ball and…

Didn’t matter.

Hoseok stood and wiped Yoongi’s cheeks. He’d started crying.

“Come on, cute hyung, lets go lay down on the couch.”

Hoseok led him to the living room and Namjoon soon followed. Yoongi curled up on Hoseok’s lap on the couch and Joon sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“You don’t have to, Yoongi, you don’t have to do anything. But this just, it feels like fate. You are the most talented producer I know, better than me and Hoseok.”

Yoongi made a noise in disagreement. He felt Hoseok’s chest shake with an uncontrolled laugh.

“I’m not saying we suck hyung, and we’ve both better than you at other aspects. This is our thing. And this is the singer you know best. From talking with Jaehyun, Seokmin and the GFriend producers, everything you’ve said about the band’s sucky production has been confirmed. You are the only fan who could actually fix it. And you would give them such a good album.”

Hoseok hummed and the sound made his chest vibrate against Yoongi’s back.

“I’ve heard some of the songs you’ve written for a talented tenor singer with a good range. They’re all pretty fucking phenominal. And I know you wrote them for him. You’d get all blushy.”

Hoseok poked his cheek and Yoongi gave a half-assed grumble.

Joon leaned forward, huge ass dimples right in Yoongi’s face.

“We’ll be there for you hyung, and you’ll be there for them, and for Jungkook.”

Yoongi closed his eyes and for once he let himself think of the best case scenario, of Jungkook in the booth singing something Yoongi produced, smiling and pleased with himself like Jungkook often was in those behind the scene clips when he did well. He thought about what he could draw out of Jungkook, and the other boys, what he knew was there, yet untapped. He pictured Ten’s slow smile and the girls’ shrieks when a new album came out, one that showed all that New Age had to offer. All that Jungkook could do.

He opened his eyes and stared into Joon’s, Hoseok now rubbing Yoongi's back.

“Yea, yea fuck it. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, also, sorry I switched tense for a few chapters?? That is a really weird and dumb thing for me to do, buuuuuutttttt, I'm also lazy, so I'm going to change it, at least for now, I'll prolly go change the opening author comment on the fic so people know what they're in for.  
> Sorry about that!
> 
> Oh, and get ready fro some studio fun!!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, fuck it, I had a long day and I'm going to re-outline the next few chapters, so I'll go ahead and post this chapter. For real, for real I probably won't post again for a day or two.

He’s actually coming today.

Last time Jungkook thought he would see Yoongi, there was enough uncertainty the singer could focus on his excitement.

But today he knew Yoongi would come to Songbird with RM and J-Hope.

Jaehyun had made Jungkook promise not to tell Taehyung and Jimin about the rap trio coming into the studio, otherwise they both would have shown up in full fan-boy mode. They’d gotten lucky the last time RM and J-Hope had come to the studio. Tae had been in Japan for a shoot and Jimin had been in the middle of preparing for a modern dance festival performance.

Jungkook had kept his promise, but it meant he hadn’t talked with his best friends about the growing anxiety in his chest.

He feels like he’s going crazy.

They were sitting in the same conference room waiting for the three rappers, the three producers to arrive.

Jungkook felt like he was about to jump out of his skin. Yugyeom as giving him concerned looks out of the corner of his eye.

Then, the door opened, and they came in, RM, J-Hope and Yoongi.

He was wearing black clothes, which was pretty typical for Yoongi, though they veered more towards comfort than fashion.

Had Yoongi dressed up at all those fan events?

Maybe, maybe not. But he’d never worn that hat.

Most of Yoongi’s hair was shoved back in a large, gray beanie, leaving his forehead on display. Is this what people on the internet made weird comments about New Age’s collective foreheads. Because he gets it now.

Why is it so hot in the room? Jungkook needs water, but there is no way he’s going to pick up the pitcher in the middle of the table, pour water into a glass, and sit back in his seat without something going wrong, like instead pour water all over the table, or himself, or someone else sitting at the table.

Fuck, his hands were clammy.

Jungkook more or less ignored the quick introductions, but he was glad none of his members mentioned seeing Yoongi before at fan meets, though they greet him more as an acquaintance than as a stranger.

El Capitxn begins the meeting, laying out what work they’ve done and what they still need to do. Jungkook is trying to focus, he really is. Thank god Yugyeom is taking notes next to him, maybe Jungkook can steal those later.

He can feel Yoongi’s eyes, but Jungkook knows if he looks up, he’ll lose it in front of everyone.

“Ah, thank you for that update PD-nim, could we possibly break for a bit, or maybe begin working on individual songs?”

It’s like he can feel Yoongi’s voice wash over him, calming and yet expanding his nerves. The effect feels weird in his stomach.

Then Yoongi looked at Jungkook.

“Is there a place I can talk with Jungkook about his solo?”

Sejin leads Jungkook and Yoongi from the room to one of the small alcoves tucked around the building, then leaves them alone at a tiny couch with a higher than normal coffee table.

He’s alone with Yoongi.

Jungkook’s heart is trying to climb out his throat.

“Ah, what’s, ah, what’s wrong Jungkook?”

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Jungkook felt his finger nails dig into his palms.

Yoongi didn’t seem quite as sure of himself, maybe this was weird for him too?

But he voice was still calm, and he looked at Jungkook like,

Like he cared, and he understood, and what he didn’t understand about Jungkook he still wanted to know, he still wanted to understand.

Jungkook laughs. It sounds a little hysterical.

“I, I-I, ah I’m nervous about, bout seeing you.”

Yoongi’s eyes grew wide and his cheeks went red.

The older man looked down and scratched the side of his neck.

Oh god no, Yoongi was even cuter outside of fan events. 

Maybe Jungkook shouldn’t have been so pushy about his solo. 

He could still run away, right? His Japanese was almost passable, he could maybe make it running a karaoke stand in Kyoto. Or maybe he could get a join on a fishing boat. He’d so busy trying not to lose his fingers he’d never even think about Yoongi’s pretty eyes or his cute round face, or, oh god, his hands were big and veiny? This was allowed? What?

Yoongi clears his throat, drawing Jungkook from his less than coherent thoughts.

He leans down and pulls his laptop out of his backpack then places it on the table. Jungkook hadn’t even noticed Yoongi’s bag, he was too distracted by, well, Yoongi.

“Ah, how about I show you what I’ve got?”

Jungkook nods and Yoongi gives him a tiny smile.

Jungkook holds back a sigh.

While the laptop boots up, Yoongi also pulls out some small convenience store headphones and offers them to Jungkook.

“Here, ah, I’ve produced a lot of songs with your voice in mind.”

Yoongi’s face gets redder and there is a bit of … not Busan, somewhere close to there? Probably Daegu? Just there at the end of his sentence.

Like maybe, maybe Yoongi is nervous too.

Yoongi plugs in the headphones and pulls up a file titled “for jungkook.”

The first one starts slow, with a soothing melody and a light but far more complex harmony over the top. It is so different from what Jungkook’s heard from Suga the rapper.

He’s surprised again when Yoongi’s voice comes in, raspy and sometimes a little off but deep and, and warm. Yoongi only lets Jungkook listen to the first verse and chorus before he pauses the song, shares a little about the song’s theme and how he imagines Jungkook’s voice within the piece Yoongi has already created.

The producer does the same for three or more songs. He offers a little more information with each song Jungkook hears, like he’s getting more comfortable.

Shit, shit, shit.

He still looks cute, Yoongi always looks cute.

There is a whole other level of attractive Yoongi reaches when he talks about his music. 

Jungkook forces himself to focus on the song, closing his eyes so he'll stop looking at Yoongi’s mouth or his wrists.

They’re all really, really good. Some would probably fit the album more than others but-

But they all fit Jungkook. So well. He can almost hear where he’d go a little higher than Yoongi on some parts, or a little louder, or softer, or where it might be nice to layer another voice under the main vocal.

Jungkook is used to making himself fit into a song. He and his members, their roles are set before they go into the booth. There is an exact tone, pitch, breathiness they are supposed to reach. There is no delineation, there is no testing things out, trying other options. New Age does as they are told.

It's one of the reasons Jungkook likes doing covers. He gets to take something beautiful and make it beautiful in a new way.

He doesn’t know how to say those things, or if he should. Isn’t rude to offer that kind of criticism of Yoongi’s hard work?

“So.”

Jungkook blinks his eyes open and looks at Yoongi.

The other smiles at him.

“What did you like?”

Jungkook has no idea what to say.

Yoongi, who always reads Jungkook so well, leans a little close to him.

“You know, it is okay if you don’t like how something in a song is right now. It should grow to fit you. And it is alright if you like a song, but fit the album or it doesn’t fit what you want to say,” Yoongi says.

He gives that little smile again.

“That happens all the time Jungkook-ah, it isn’t a song’s fault if it doesn’t fit into an album. I won’t be offended.”

Yoongi knows Jungkook too well for knowing him so little.

He looks down at his own hands playing with the headphone wire, both thankful and embarrassed.

He’s been an idol in the industry for two years, but outside of working on covers and hidden notebooks of lyrics, he’s never really ventured into this side of his work. 

Even then, he’s never had a solo and he rarely carries more than one whole verse on an album, instead acting as connecting background vocals. 

“Okay, why don’t you show me a few more?”

Yoongi looks at Jungkook, carefully then nods.

Jungkook tries to keep upbeat but somehow Yoongi must sense Jungkook’s unease.

He stops after the seventh or eight song runthrough.

The way he looks at Jungkook, like Yoongi can look into him, it makes Jungkook want to hide. It makes him happy and uncomfortable at the same time.

“I know it isn’t my place, but is something wrong?” 

Jungkook tries to smile. He looks down at his hands again, swings his feet in an attempt to force the nerves and discomfort from his body.

He could lie. It wouldn’t be hard.

Jungkook wants to tell Yoongi. Probably not a good idea, but Jungkook doesn’t want to think about it. He knows that means you either say it or shove it down.

“This is the most I’ve ever really done with, like, making one of our albums. I’m, I, I think it's a little embarrassing, how little I know about making my own music.” 

Jungkook purses his lips. He can feel Yoongi’s eyes. 

The other man shifts next to him, Yoongi’s hand flutters on his own knee, like he consider reaching out to Jungkook.

“It isn’t embarrassing Jungkook, not for you. It should be embarrassing for your company to waste your potential and the potential of your members, especially when the management of your sister group is reaching their own potential.”

Jungkook kinda feels like crying, but the good crying. The kind of crying where maybe you should have cried before, but something finally told you yea, that sucked, you should be upset.

He’s pretty sure he won’t cry if he looks at Yoongi. Jungkook thinks its probably really hard to cry and look at someone like Yoongi at the same time.

The other man looks a little said, but he also looks angry.

“It, it is sad,” Yoongi says. “But you and your members are fixing it now. And I think all the New Age members, but you especially, have so much more to offer.” 

Jungkook sniffs, not realizing how close he’d gotten to tears until that moment. Guess you could cry while looking at someone as beautiful as Yoongi.

The producer gave him another soft smile.

Jungkook knew then. He didn’t just have a crush on Yoongi.

On the surface, Yoongi was hard to read, and even when he wanted to let you in, it took time. Jungkook had been so confused by Yoongi, when the man not only showed up to that first concert but kept coming and kept supporting Jungkook specifically.

Over time he’d realized Yoongi was a complex person, and it was hard to know more about him, but Jungkook was pretty sure he knew the most important things about Yoongi. But he was dedicated, and he paid attention to detail, he could be a little goofy, he was unwilling to step away from his beliefs, and he was willing to make himself a little uncomfortable if he thought the person was worth it.

Yoongi had decided Jungkook was worth it.

Jungkook didn’t just have a crush on Yoongi, he was in love with Yoongi. 

“Could, ah- I know you don’t want to, to, um, work outside your, ah office, but um. Could I, maybe, meet with you again? Even after we pick the song? I, I like working with you. And, ahm maybe you could show me a little bit of how you make songs?” 

Jungkook knew his cheeks were a pink. His hands were clammy, he was so nervous.

Yoongi’s lips pressed together in a little line. 

No, no, no, Jungkook needed Yoongi to say yes.

Jungkook let his eyes get a little bigger. Jimin always complained it was impossible to say no to Jungkook’s puppy eyes.

God, he was shameless.

Yoongi’s own eyes grew and his shoulders fell. After a second, he sighed and nodded.

“Yea, yea, we could do that Jungkook. Anything you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we know, Jungkook is skilled at hyung wrangling.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have now fully outlined the fic, including the epilogue, I feel invincible!
> 
> So I decided to go ahead and post the next chapter. I am too excited with where everything is going!!!

Yoongi pulls his phone out of his pocket before he steps out into the frigid Seoul night. He hasn’t quite given up his layering instead of wearing an actual coat approach to the weather, but he knows it's coming.

The coat still isn’t that thick, but it does do a good job of blocking wind.

Jin is yelling at Hoseok about something over the group chat, it doesn’t seem that dire since Namjoon is egging them both on instead of pulling his “conflict resolution counselor” routine. (One six-hour seminar in highschool does not make someone an amature therapist, especially if they were required to attend said conflict resolution seminar because they’d been fighting in school.)

He had another message about an hour old from, from Jungkook.

It was a sound file. And a message.

‘How does this sound? Am I close?”

Yoongi pulled his bag off his back, then pulled out his cheap headphones, the same ones he’d lent Jungkook at the Songbird building.

He walked out into the back alley, getting out of the way of the rest of the kitchen staff working into the restaurant’s late shift.

Then he pulled in the crappy headphones and tapped the file.

Jungkook and Yoongi had narrowed the selection for his solo down to two songs. Jungkook sent Yoongi a file of him singing a part from one of the songs.

Yoongi could tell it was a phone recording of a studio playback, in part because it had that recording-of-a-recording static, but also because Yoongi could vaguely hear Jungkook and at least one other voice murmuring in the background.

It was still beautiful. Of course it was, it was Jungkook’s voice.

But it…. It could be better. Yoongi stood shivering the cold for a few minutes trying to figure out how to type what he wanted to say.

“Yah!”

Fuck it, he’d call him.

He’d call Jungkook.

He felt himself freeze.

What? No, he couldn’t, like, just call the idol.

That was not something Yoongi could handle.

Could he?

They’d already met in person, in a non-fan capacity. But still, for work. This was for work too.

Maybe, Yoongi could ask if he could call?

He sent Jungkook a quick message asking if Yoongi could call the singer, explain his thoughts. Jungkook replied with his phone number.

Oh right. Yoongi just had Jungkook’s Kakao ID, not his actual number.

Yoongi carefully saved the number, no name just a microphone emoji, in case he lost his phone. Yoongi was not going to be the reason Jungkook had to get a new number.

It was still cold, and he was still outside so Yoongi started walking while waiting for Jungkook to pick up. The other man picked up on the second ring.

“Hi, hi, ah, you called!”

“Uh, yea, didn’t really know how to type everything out.”

Yoongi buried his face in his scarf, glad even cheap headphones had microphones so he could keep his hands in his pocket.

“So um, on that part, I kinda think it might sound better if you let your voice, like, fall? THere at the end? Kinda like the opposite of how you ended the chorus in that cover you did with Yuju.”

“You-you listened to the cover?”

Jungkook’s reply shouldn’t irk Yoongi. But it did.

“Jungkook, I think you know I listen to all your music.”

Jungkook laughed on his end of the phone call. He sounded….nervous?

“Can I ask you something?”

Jungkook hesitated before answering.

“Um...sure?”

“Why were you nervous to see me, at the Songbird building?”

It hadn’t made sense, then or later on when Yoongi remembered Jungkook’s anxious twitching and pretty blush.

“Ah, cause it’s you?”

Yoongi almost stopped walking. That didn’t make sense. Yoongi isn’t anything special.

“I’m not anything special.”

“That’s not true.”

Jungkook’s answer was quick, his voice a little harsh.

“You are special Yoongi. You’ve always been special. At, at least, you are to me.”

Jungkook’s voice lost confidence and volume as he spoke, like he’d gotten nervous again.

Nervous talking to Yoongi, of all people.

“I’m just a fan.”

“No, you aren’t.”

Yoongi didn’t know how to respond to that. He was just a fan. Jungkook, confidence returned, filled in the silence.

“You’ve never just been a fan. You’re thoughtful, kind, honest. You respect our boundaries, you respect other fans boundaries, you try to make other people respect my boundaries. Most people don’t do that, even fans. I-”

Jungkook stopped and took a deep breath. Yoongi got to his subway stop.

“I have to tell you something, like a, a confession.”

This made no sense to Yoongi.

“Ah, sure, whatever you have to say Jungkook.”

“I-, I wasn’t as good to you, as you were to me.”

Yoongi wasn’t following, but Jungkook kept talking.

“The night I took that picture, at your show, I almost asked to go backstage, to,to, to see you and, and make you talk to me.”  
Yoongi sucked in a breath. That...would not have gone well.

“I knew you didn’t want to talk to me. You didn’t want me to know you were Suga. But, but I already knew, and you were avoiding me. So, so many people have done that to New Age. And it always made me feel trapped and used, like I was a thing. I almost did that to you.”

Yoongi heard Jungkook sniffle.

“Hey, hey, you didn’t do anything wrong Jungkook, even if you thought about it, you didn’t do it.”

“But I still posted the picture.”

Yoongi sighed. The subway pulled out and Yoongi climbed on board. It was one of the last stops of the night so it was a little crowded, but Yoongi managed to find a quiet spot toward the back of the car.

“I didn’t really leave you with many options, to show me you knew. I’m not mad, it’s not like I regularly hide my face when I perform.”

Jungkook sniffed again.

“You did the first time I saw you guys.”

What, that, what.

“Wah, you’ve been to more than one show?”

The idol hummed.

“Yea, Tae and Jimin took me to your show a few days before the family concert. THat’s how I found out about your music. Taehyungie is a big fan. Jaehyun made me promise not to tell him or Jiminie when you, J-Hope and RM came to the studio, so they wouldn’t show up.”

Yoongi snorted, but he was distracted by his own thoughts.

He didn’t know how to arrange all the information Jungkook shared.

“What, um can I ask what ah, what happened to you arm?”

Jungkook’s voice was quiet again, and gentle. Yooongi could say no.

“How do you…”

That’s right, Jungkook went to the first show after Hobi deemed Yoongi well enough to perform. And he’s mentioned it on stage.

He took in a deep breath, then let it out.

“It wasn’t my arm, really. It was my shoulder. A few day after, after I made that delivery-” 

And fuck did Yoongi want to forget that night.

“-I got hit while out on a delivery. The guy fucked my shoulder. Lost the delivery job.”

“What! They fired you! What do you mean the guy fucked up your shoulder, not the car? What the fuck!”

Yoongi buried his face in his scarf, this time hiding his blush and smile.

“It's okay. Hoseok, ah, J-Hope? He helped set me up with like, a physio plan. And I got a new job.”

“Oh, good. What do you now, when you aren’t producing?”

Yoongi didn’t want to say.

“..... I’m a dishwasher….”

“Huh.”

There was a pause.

“Aren’t you a little small for a job like that?”

“Yah, Jung-. If I was not in a public place, you would be hearing it right now! I am not small!”

Jungkook giggled on the other end of the call.

Fuck. Yoongi’s heart literally lurched, fuck, he didn’t know that was an actual thing, what the fuck.

Eventually the idol’s giggles stopped.

“Is that why you stopped coming to fan meets? I missed you.”

“What? Yea, but you-.”

Yoongi laughed, incredulous.

“I didn’t think you’d notice. Or like, maybe, if you did, it would be a good thing yea? Idols only really remember fans they don’t like, right?”

Jungkook made a disagreeing noise.

“What kind of people do you think we are? Of course we remember fans we like. If you didn’t think I’d remember you, why did you keep coming?”

Fans we like, he remembers fans he likes. He remembered Yoongi.

“Ah, I wanted you to, ah know you had support and, and I wanted the company to know too.”

“Yoongi.”

It was finally his stop. Yoongi could get away from all these people who could see how red his face had become.

“I- I got through a lot of events because I knew you were there, or watching. Not, not like, I knew my ah, my fans were there. Because you were there.”

Jungkook sighed.

“When we decided to make your own album, I thought about all the things you’d said over the past two years. I wanted to make the album for me, and the other guys. But, I liked thinking that, maybe, maybe you’d come back, if you liked what I made.”

No, no that wasn’t right. Yoongi wasn’t supposed to be someone Jungkook would cry about.

“Jungkook.”

Yoongi looked up at the Seoul night sky. Too much light for stars. Yoongi thought about camping out on the mountain, back home. Would Jungkook like camping?

“I’ll always like what you make. Even if I hate it.”

Maybe someone else would have been more delicate, or more eloquent. But, Yoongi was starting to realize, he did know Jungkook, to some degree. And Jungkook knew Yoongi too, in the same way.

Jungkook laughed, high and bright.

Yoongi grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooo......  
> ~~~eyebrow waggle~~~


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a logn chapter for you all.
> 
> It has been a very long year already. If you are out protesting, stay safe, stay hydrated, keep numbers of a local lawyer and a local emergency contact on your arm. Also, it is good to rest and recharge.
> 
> I'm putting my thoughts about the whole Jim Jones sampling in the end note. Not that my opinion is very important. Feel free to skip if the whole thing has left you exhausted or is further stressing you out!

They had a week.

Sejin had cleared a whole week for them to spend in the recording studio, then booked out two additional booths. The GFriend producing team had also cleared their week, the producer in the US had adjusted his sleep schedule so he’d be more readily available, and Yoongi and his two friends wouldn’t be going in to work.

Sejin, Yijeong and Jaehyun all thought the best way to get a leg up over Minyeom and his guys would be to present a nearly completed album.

Everything would still be rough, of course it would be rough, and there might still be changes to the final song lineup for the album.

But they weren’t going to present a concept. They were going to present the first draft of an entire album.

It would be a long week.

Jungkook piled into the back of a town car with Yugyeom, Minghao and Mingyu, him and Mingyu curled up “like sleepy kittens” according to Yugyeom.

He was tired. He’d spent the whole night going over the notes Yoongi had made on all the New Age song so far. Jungkook and Yoongi had talked a bit about the two songs still in consideration for Jungkook’s first solo, but he wanted to better understand how Yoongi approached music.

It had led into a kind of rabbit hole of information while he looked over the notes from the other producers as well, first so he’d have a way to compare them to Yoongi then because it was fascinating in its own right.

Jungkook had started to piece together the way RM, J-Hope and Suga worked together on their joint works. RM often acted as the foundation, usually with his lyrics but he was also skilled at making beats almost flow in and out of words. J-Hope seems to be a kind of rhythm master, in Jungkook’s very humble opinion. His goal seemed to be making people move, no matter how happy or sad or abstract the song. J-Hope wanted you to feel it.

Yoongi made the connections, smoothed out the rough edges and figured out the best parts.

It was hard to picture at first, which is why Jungkook had started looking at other producer comments and contributions, as well as looking at the credits on Yoongi’s previous works.

A lot of the time Yoongi was credited for arrangements as well as producing a song’s bridge. Jungkook was once again embarrassed that he needed to do so much research about something he should have already known. Yoongi was the one who took all the different versions of what could be the final song, and found what things fit together best, creating bridges and raps to connect the mismatched parts or themes.

Jungkook got the feeling Yoongi might be one of those people who like complex puzzles, or putting together furniture.

He thought about seeing Yoongi again today, actually working with him, Mingyu’s soft breath in Jungkook’ ear. He must have fallen back asleep.

Sejin gave all of them coffee as they tumbled out of their cars, then he ushered them into the reserved studios. It was good to see the GFriend producers were just as tired as the New Age members.

Adora yawned behind her own coffee cup, and Frants was buried in a hoodie.

El Capitxn stood with a yawn of his own then cleared his throat.

“Alright guys, we’ve got a pretty long schedule for the day, as soon as the other three get here we’ll split up between the three studios. Adora and Frantz are sticking to this studio for today, I’ll be in the middle studio because it has the best set up to work with our American friend and the last one will mainly be out outside producers.”

He was reviewing the schedule with Jaehyun and Sejin, deciding which artists needed to go where, when the other three arrived.

Yoongi looks sleepy and really, really cute in an over-large black sweatshirt and black leggings. He’s wearing the large gray beanie too.

Mingyu and DK tried to hide their giggles next to Jungkook.

Oh god, he must have made some kind of noise, that was embarrassing.

How was he supposed to make it through a whole week of this?

RM and J-Hope didn’t look any more ready for the day. J-Hope looks like he’ll kill a man if it means he could sleep for another hour.

“Jungkook, Yugyeom and Minghao, you’re with the trio this morning.”

Oh God. Jungkook forced himself to listen to El Capitxn and not freak out about being in the same room with Yoongi again.

“RM and Minghao will work on his rap for the subunit, and J-Hope and Suga can work with our singers on getting their vocals recorded for the dawn song.”

Their assignment must have been last because after that everyone stood up and walked down the hall to the row of recording and mixing booths.

J-Hope and Suga sat at the mixing station while Yugyeom and Jungkook headed into the booth. RM and The8 sat on the studio’s back couch and pulled out their notes.

J-Hope reached across to turn on the intercom.

“You two warm up and let us know when you’re good to go.”

Jungkook felt himself nod, then went into some basic warm ups with Yugyeom. Yugyeom did his warmups around a smile, pointedly looking between Jungkook and Yoongi, then doing weird things with his face.

If they weren’t in a sound booth, Jungkook would have tackled him.

It doesn’t take long for them to warm up, they give a thumbs up, then they start working on different options for background vocals.

Jungkook usually finds himself closing his eyes when he records, focusing on the sound of his own voice.

Today he has to keep his eyes closed otherwise Yoongi’s dark, steady eyes distract him. Yoongi and J-Hope both give them direction through their headsets and Jungkook tries not to jump every time Yoongi’s warm voice is in his ear.

They’re in the booth for about an hour and a half when Yoongi and J-Hope tell them come out for a real break.

RM and Minghao seem to get along well, discussing some famous long-dead Daoist’s work.

“Ya, Joon-ah, you and The8 are up! Are the lyrics ready?,” J-Hope yells back to them.

RM and Minghao both get off the couch.

“We’re ready hyung!”

J-Hope gets out of his chair and stretches.

“You guys have a cafeteria right? Let's go get you guys some tea.”

Jungkook meets Yoongi’s eye briefly while he and Yugyeom are ushered out of the room.

Yugyeom takes point, leading them to the caf. He gives Jungkook a careful look and Jungkook tries to glare back.

No, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“So, J-Hope-nim, Jungkook said you dance?”

J-Hope smiles at them.

“Ah, yea, you two are on the dance line?”

Okay, Jungkook would have to apologize for glaring at Yugyeom. The three of them talk about different choreographers, J-Hope’s background in street dance, Yugyeom’s own experience popping and Jungkook’s time training in the United States.

“So, ah J-Hope-nim, you’re a choreographer too, right?”

Jungkook and Yugyeom are drinking their tea. J-Hope has a couple bottles of cold coffee tucked in his arms when Jungkook asks about his other job.

J-Hope’s eyes are searching, almost wary, but he’s got a slight smile on his face.

“If we’re going to be working together, you can call me Hoseok. I have done some work choreographing different songs, but most of that was back in high school. Now I teach dance, produce and rap, and then also work as an assistant in an office.”

J-Hope, Hoseok, grabs some kind of snack pack thing and balances it on top of the coffees before shooting Jungkook another smile. This one is sharper.

“I'm using vacation time from both jobs to be here this week. Yoongi doesn’t really get vacation, so he’s taking unpaid time.”

Jungkook thinks about what Yoongi told him over the phone about losing his job, about the medical bills and making rent.

He knows producing a song, producing more than one song for an idol group can lead to other big projects. But is it really worth risking his jobs, especially when he just got hired on at the restaurant a few months before? What if he’d only agreed because Jungkook asked?

He didn’t know he’d do if Yoongi lost his best source of income just to help Jungkook.

“Here, can you carry these oranges?”

Jungkook looked at Hoseok again. His face was softer now. He tilted his head to some oranges on the counter.

“Yoongi’s got a thing for fruit. Which is good because otherwise he’d end up with scurvy. That fucker eats too much instant ramen.”

Yugyeom snorted and their little group headed back to the studio.

When they get back, Yijeong is in their studio sitting in the chair previously occupied by J-Hope, no, Hoseok.

He and Yoongi are tooling around with different combinations from Yugyeom and Jungkook, along with a rough recording of Minghao’s rap.

“This?” Yoongi does…. Something on his computer screen. El Capitxn nods.

“Perfect, we’ll just add DK beat boxing underneath.”

Yoongi falls back in his chair laughing, loud and scratchy and goofy.

Yijeong laughs a little too then shares a smile with Yoongi.

Yoongi, who’s smile covers half is face, big and gummy and cute, with how it pushes up his cheeks.

Jungkook has never seen Yoongi smile like that at any fan event, either in line with his friends, or when he’s in the audience of some show and Jungkook catches a glimpse or even when he’s standing right in front of Jungkook.

Yoongi finally looks over at them still standing by near the door, Yugyeom sipping his tea and Hoseok trying to find enough space on the tiny side table.

The producer makes eye contact with JUngkook then looks down, his smiling falling. He plays with the little bit of hair peaking out from under his beanie, right behind his ear.

“Ah, um , Hoseok-ssi, he ah, said that you like fruit.”

Jungkook knows he looks dumb biting his lip and handing yoongi a bunch of oranges, but he needs to leave.

“Ah, thanks Jungkook, I apprec-.”

“I, ah, I’m going to use the bathroom, back in a bit!”

Jungkook tries very, very hard not to run out of the room. He doesn’t know how he feels about everything that happened in the last 15 minutes, but he knows he doesn’t really feel good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First about the fic, hmmmm?????  
> A little protectiveness from Hoseok? A cute mental image of sleepy New Age? More information on the album process? Our Jungkookie maybe getting a little jealous?  
> HMMMMMM?????
> 
> Now  
> I have thoughts on the most recent sampling Jim Jones controversy, but like I said my thoughts really aren't all that important. There is a large group of Black ARMY with a wide range of opinions on the sample itself, ranging from being very hurt to being very empowered. All of that is completely valid and doesn't make someone a fake fan.  
> Were ARMY who were uncomfortable with RM's hair or the underlying message of WOH fake? No. Were the ARMY who didn't want BTS to go to Saudi Arabia fake? No. Were the ARMY excited about BTS performing in a Muslim majority country fake? No.  
> If a fandom claims to be a family, they need to have different opinions. Not can have different opinions, but should. ARMY can't say its global, can't say its family, can't say we are more than mindless stans, if there is not loving disagreement and discourse. That is really REALLY hard but necessary. And always listen to the people who are hurt. That doesn't even mean you need to agree with them! But listen! And don't call them racist things, especially when videos of black death and torture are the only other thing they'll see on their screens.  
> And that is how BTS grows as global artists eventually leading their own projects. That is how younger ARMY grow within the fandom into wonderful human beings instead of little monsters, because they've seen good online behavior and have learned how to spread that same love.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu kinda sticks his foot directly in his own mouth.

This morning, Yoongi is on arrangements.

He’s almost entirely taken over the couch at the back of the recording booth he, Joon and Hoseok have mainly used all day. Most of the audio files from yesterday’s recordings have been copied and transferred over to Yoongi’s laptop or the producer in the U.S. They’ve been emailing back and forth, Yoongi’s decided he likes the guy.

So far today, he’s spent three hours trying different arrangements of background vocals on the full-group song they’d almost completed the day before, noise cancelling headphones allowing him to work without disturbing the rest of the people in the room.

Hm, he needed to go over this part with Joon, or Yijeong. They could either split the vocal line along four different variations of the harmony, or they needed to all sing together. But right not they had two singing the same line and the other two singing different variations of the harmony.

It wasn’t bad, but something about it was off balanced. That wouldn’t bother Yoongi if it had been made that way on purpose but that was not the case.

Mingyu and Jaehyun would likely need to re-record. Maybe Jungkook and Yugyeom too, depending on which version they wanted.

He grumbled and looked for his phone to shoot the other two producers a text.

Oh, Jungkook was recording again.

Yoongi slipped the headphones off his ears.

Jungkook, Jaehyun and Mingyu seemed to be taking turns in the booth, probably completing the background vocals for Yugyeom’s last verse in the dawn song, as they’d been calling it. 

Jungkook’s eyes were closed, a small line between his brows while he sang the high note, steady and crystal clear.

Yoongi watched and listened, mesmerized.

His phone buzzed, shocking Yoongi out of his trance.

“So…”

Shit, Yoongi was not the only one sitting on the couch. Jaehyun and Jungkook were in the booth, Mingyu was sitting on the other end of the couch waiting to rotate in.

Yoongi tried to look interested in the text from Joon. He liked the split harmonies idea. Well, they’d need to do some more recording then, and there wasn’t anything Yoongi could do with the section of the song until that was completed.

That means he didn’t have any more work to do, at least on his laptop, nothing else to hide behind.

He glanced at Mingyu.

The singer was still looking at him. Yoongi was probably lucky it was Mingyu who caught him staring and not…. Yeah, any other member of New Age would have been a worse option.

Yoongi took a chance.He’d act clueless.

“Ah, yes? Is there something you need, Mingyu-ssi”

Mingyu tried to hold in a giggle.

“No, just, you really are Jungkook’s fan. It's nice to see.”

Yoongi tried not to scowl. He’d been coming to fan events for 18 months telling Jungkook how much Yoongi admired his skills and his performances. Mingyu had been there, why was he acting surprised.

“No, ahh, not like that! I mean, you've been all professional the whole time you’ve been here, and that's great, that’s what everybody wants but, it's good to know you still like him.”

Yoongi wasn’t sure what his face was doing but Mingyu’s eyes grew wide. He looked horrified.

“Ah! I mean! That you like us! I know um,”

Mingyu glanced over at Jaehyun and Jungkook still working in the booth taking direction from Hoseok.

He then slid closer to Yoongi, eyes still on the group working in front of them.

“-I know Jungkook seemed a little worried yesterday, that he might not, ah live up to the hype? I guess?”

Yoongi did not know what to do with that. It just didn’t make sense.

He’d been frustrated yesterday. It felt like he was right back to square one with Jungkook, uncomfortable and unsure of himself, hiding behind his professionalism.

Jungkook had told Yoongi he was nervous to work with Yoongi. That still made no real sense to Yoongi, but, maybe if he tried to look at it from Jungkook’s perspective, it would be nerve-racking to actually work with a fan.

But if that was the case, wouldn’t Jungkook appreciate Yoongi staying professional when they were working together.

Mingyu once again drew Yoongi’s attention.

“And, well, you are obviously really comfortable with El Capitxn after just meeting, so that probably didn’t help.”

That- wait, what?

How did their in-house producer have anything to do with Jungkook? Wasn’t it a good thing he got along with one of the in-house producers New Age actually liked and trusted?

He was so, so confused.

“Alright!”

Hoseok clapped then rubbed his hands together.

“Time for a lunch break. We’ll move around after we all eat.”

Yoongi followed the group out of the studio, feeling like he was in a daze. He noticed Jungkook kept looking back at him. He tried to smile, but it felt off. It must have looked off too, because Jungkook frowned and turned back around to talk with Jaehyun.

Yoongi followed Hoseok around the company cafeteria then sat next to him, careful not to completely curl up in Hobi’s lap. They were in public.

Hobi looked over Yoongi, then turned back to his tray and started to eat. Jaehyun and Adora sat across from them. Hoseok started sharing the progress their made in the third room with Adora, Jaehyun chiming in this his own thoughts.

Yoongi ate and let the conversation drift over him. He tried to put together all the things Mingyu had said, and what Yoongi had noticed, but nothing really fit.

“Hey guys!”

Namjoon sat his tray down on the other side of Yoongi. Yoongi knew his dongsaengs were having some kind of silent conversation over his head, but he chose to ignore it and stick to his meal, and his own confusing thoughts.

Jaehyun and Adora both finished their meal before Hoseok and Namjoon, the last to join their table. Jaehyung went to talk with his members at another table and Adora went to say hello to GFriend members who’d just walked into the cafeteria.

Yoongi played with the last three noddles in his bowl.

“So, hyung, why do you have that thinking pout?”

Yoongi signed and put down his chopsticks.

“Mingyu said Jungkook was, I guess upset, that I get along with Yijeong. I can’t understand why.”

They were having another silent conversation. Yoongi would really appreciate it if they clue him the fuck in.

“Hyung, why might you get upset about someone clicking with Jungkook better, or quicker than Jungkook did with you?”

That was a dumb question.

“That’s a dumb question Joon-ah, I’d be jealous.”

Joon smiled, that cute, dumb, ‘see I’m so smart' smile. This kid, why did Yoongi like him so much.

Yoongi looked at Hobi, who was wearing a different face. It was the ‘why are you so fucking stupid when i just laid out everything you need to know in detail’ face. What? 

Hoseok sighed and picked up his tray.

“Just think about it hyung, maybe this afternoon when you're recording the chorus for Jungkook’s solo.”

Shit

Namjoon laughed and wraped his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders.

“Have you ever considered that your crush might not be so one-sided?”

That- no. Nope. Yoongi sat in his seat staring at the wall while Namjoon walked away with his own tray laughing.

Yoongi chanced a glance at the other table where all the members of New Age were sitting.

Jungkook was staring back. The singer blushed and looked away. A hysterical laugh tried to climb up Yoongi’s throat.

There was no way, right? No way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we will have more real interaction with Yoongi and Jungkook, I promise!  
> These boys are just shy, poor dears!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another longer chapter

Jungkook is trying really, really hard.

Well, obviously, they’re working on his first solo. He likes the three-part chorus and it made him warm when Yoongi said he’d actually originally written this particular song for a subuni., but he knew Jungkook could tie the whole song together on his own.

Jungkook knew he was turning red, remembering how many files Yoongi had in that desktop file named “for jungkook.”

“Are you okay JK, do you need a break?”

Jaehyun looked concerned from where he stood behind Yoongi, Namjoon and Adora squeezed together in front of the controls.

Jungkook forced himself to not look at Yoongi. He was probably even more red now. Jungkook shook his head no, but took a sip of water to gather himself.

He could feel Yoongi’s eyes on him. That’s what was so difficult.

“Ah, actually, I could use a break, and I think the rest of us are needed in the main studio right? Didn’t Yjeong say we’d start work on the fourth group song at 5:30 p.m., then break for dinner before getting back to it?”

Yoongi and Adora both nodded.

Jungkook tried not to show his frustration. He wasn’t happy with the third part of the chorus yet. The emotion was always too strong or too soft. He knew there was a perfect place in the middle, but he hadn’t gotten it yet.

“How about Jungkook and I join you in about 20 minutes?”

Jungkook looked at Yoongi and found the producer was looking back at him, even though he was talking to the group.

“Jungkook still isn’t pleased with the end of the chorus. We probably won’t get it perfect before the album is due, 20 more minutes could only help, and its not a strenuous part.”

Jungkook could tell all three of the other people in the room were looking at him, but he was looking back at Yoongi.

“Is that what you want to do JK?”

Jungkook nodded to Jaehyun’s question, then took another sip of water so he could break eye contact with Yoongi but he didn’t have to look at any of the others.

The others left the studio. It was just him and Yoongi.

The other man smiled.

“Ready?”

Jungkook nodded and Yoongi started the music. They didn’t talk between each take, but Yoongi gave him advice every couple breaks, or Jungkook made a suggestion. By the time they hit the 20 minute mark, Jungkook still didn’t feel it was perfect, but it was close. The transition from one particular line to another was off, but it was good enough for a first edit.

“Yoongi-ssi, can you put a mark between those verses? That it still needs some work there?”

Yoongi looked down and began typing while Jungkook left the booth.

“Yoongi-hyung.”

“What?”

Yoongi looked up from the computer, a smiled tucked into one corner of his mouth.

“You can call me hyung….um, if you want.”

Yes, yes I ah, yup, thank you, Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi smiled that samecute, funny smile that puffed out his cheeks.

“You go ahead, I’m going to start shutting down equipment. Yijeoung said we’d only use this studio again tonight for arrangements.”

“Ah, can I help?”

Yoongi blinked twice then turned to the sound board, scratching the back of his head.

“Nah, I mean you have to kind of know how to do everything.”

Okay, okay Jungkook, either give up and leave or ask…

“Co-could you show me, show me how?”

“Um yeah. Yeah, I can, come sit down.”

Jungkook wanted to scream, yes!

Over the next 10 minutes or so, Yoongi told Jungkook what every piece of equipment did, how it connected to the other electronics, and why Jungkook should only shut things off in a particular order. He listened. He really, really did. But he’d get distracted by Yoongi’s hands. He talked with his hands. Or the weird but cut way he’d suck on his teeth when trying to remember a certain word.

“Alright, let's join the others in the big studio.”

Jungkook nods and Yoongi just, stares at him for a minute.

It's a little thrilling. He’s always had an uncomfortable relationship with attention. Jungkook gets embarrassed and shy when he receives too much attention from random strangers, or when someone notices him out of the blue. But he craves it too. He used to think that made him a bad person, but enough thoughtful conversations with his father, with Sejin, with his other members and with their group therapist convinced Jungkook he shouldn’t beat himself up about his desire for attention. It wasn’t like he demanded or even wanted to have a person’s undivided attention or to be their sole focus.

Jungkook liked being one of seven. He liked Jimin or Tae snuggled up against him while they talked to each other over his head. He liked sitting around a table with his family, good-natured bickering and teasing while his parents and brother kept scolding him for not putting enough food on his plate.

There is only one person Jungkook had wanted to look at him no one else, to notice him above everyone else.

That was Yoongi. And right now Jungkook had all of him.

Eventually Yoongi blinked and turned away. He looked back at Jungkook and tilted his head toward the door, a little smile on his face.

Jungkook nodded again and followed him out.

They walked down the hall to the large studio without talking. Jungkook pushed down the desire to reach out and hold Yoongi’s hand.

He put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants to make sure his hands behaved, didn’t go rogue.

They got to the studio and waited outside for the all clear that they could come in without interrupting anyone’s recording. Eventually Yoongi got the ‘good to go’ text from RM. Yoongi opened the door and tilted his head. He wanted Jungkook to go in first.

“Wait! Don’t close the door!”

Oh no.

Jungkook looked inside the studio. Jaehyun’s eyes were large, face a mask of despair. He must have heard them too.

Jungkook turned around and looked down the hall. Yep, Jimin and Tae, dressed to emotionally kill and carrying large bags of takeout with Taehyung’s manager carrying additional bags behind them.

Both of them were smiling like angels, so Jungkook was probably in trouble.

He looked at Yoongi. The other man seemed frozen, watching Tae and Jimin skip down the hall to the open studio.

Jimin got to them first. He gave Yoongi a dazzling, sweet and very intimidating smile.

“Hi, I’m Park Jimin, my boyfriend and I are huge fans. We brought you dinner!”

Jungkook could hear Tae’s manager sigh.

“Suga! You are so cool and tough and cute! I’m such a fan, do you think I could try rapping? Will you guys partner with one of the noraebang companies? I’m pretty sure I’d finally beat Jiminie and Jungkookie if I could rap to your songs!”

Taehyung joined them. Yoongi had glanced over at Jungkook when he heard Jungkook’s nickname.

“Oh, and I’m Kim Taehyung, it is a pleasure to meet you! Where should we put the food?”

Jaehyun, thankfully, came to the door of the studio. He looked nervous and scared, as he should.

“Ah, Taehyung and Jimin, what brings you to Songbird studios? I didn’t think either of you had a project in the works!”

A mistake, oh, what a mistake.

Jimin turned to Jaehyun with a very sultry, very scary smile.

“Jaehyunie, did you plan your recording schedule around your loving hyung’s schedules so they wouldn’t be around.”

“Oh Jiminie!”

Taehyung spoke up now, with that one grin on his face.

“Oh Jiminie, there is no way any of our New Age dongsaengs would be so calloused. They love to have us around! We’re a joy to have in the studio! Isn’t that right Jungkookie?”

Jungkook was going to die, either at the hands of Tae and Jimin or due to his own embarrassment. He could feel Yoongi standing next to him shaking slightly from contained laughter.

For the first time ever Jungkook had a strong urge to either step on Yoongi’s foot or poke him really, really hard in the side.

“So! Jaehyunie, where do you want the food for your dinner break, here or in the caf?”

Jaehyun sighed, realizing he had no other choice.

“Why don’t we spread the food out on the coffee table in here.”

Jimin and Tae cheered. The food was spread out on the table, people piled onto the couch and the recording chairs as well as the floor around the long coffee table. Tae’s manager left after bullying Tae into a promise to not post on social media.

After the man left Taehyung snorted and began putting food on his plate.

“Why would I even want to post on social? That’s what Jiminie’s for.”

Jimin laughed and kissed his cheek.

Introductions were officially made and Jungkook’s two best friends found a way to fawn over RM, J-Hope and Suga while also sharing embarrassing information about every member of New Age.

“Why doesn’t he say anything embarrassing about Adora or the others?” Seokmin quietly grumbled from his place next to Jungkook on the floor.

But Taehyung must have heard because he leaned over and patted Seokmin’s shoulder.

“That’s because Adora and the producers never do anything embarrassing.”

Taehyung pulled back to his side of the table. He’d left a sauce stain on Seokmin’s sweatshirt.

Further down the table Yugyeom grumbled something about Taehyung being the producer’s favorite.

The meal may have started out awkward, but it quickly moved into Tae asking the three rappers about different songs and performances, then Yugyeom restarting their conversation from the day before about dance, this time including Jimin. Tae also asked Yijeong, Adora and RM, who’d told them all to call him Namjoon, about how their recording was going.

There were still some parts of the album that weren’t completed and that wouldn’t be completed. Jaehyun admitted it was frustrating, but they all still thought focusing on the sound of the album was the best bet.

“What do you mean?”

Tae looked very serious and concerned even while shoving and overstuffed lettuce wrap in his mouth.

Jaehyun sighed and leaned back. Minghao answered for him.

“We’ve got the album theme, we’ve got a really great song list, but we don’t have any images or marketing kinda shit. Most album proposals have more of that stuff and less of the actual music, outside of like, maybe a song or two.

Tae and Jimin did that thing where they glanced at each other and had a whole conversation.

“We’ll do that for you.”

Tae nodded and swallowed the ridiculously large amount of food in his mouth.

“Yep, just give us you notes and I’ll have it done in the next three days. It’ll be rough, but I’ve got a pretty large backlog of photos I’v taken for school projects and while traveling. Have Sejin send me a bunch of your behind the scene stuff, especially traveling, early morning and nighttime pics.”

Jaehyun sat back up.

“Wait, are you serious? You’d do that for us?”

Tae nodded, another large bite of food in his mouth. He tapped Jimin with his elbow.

“Of course he will. He made sure his schedule was open this week, and luckily our showcase got done so I can act as his assistant. Tae’s already got some ideas. We might need to wake you guys up early one morning and get some pictures on the roof, but otherwise you can focus on the album. We’ll handle the rest.”

Jaehyun looked like he was going to cry. Jungkook kinda felt like he was going to lose it too.

“You’d do this all for us, without us even asking?”

BamBam’s big, pretty eyes were all watery.

Jimin laughed and reached over to pinch BamBam’s cheek while Tae answered.

“We would. But it will also help me. I’ve been trying to get more control on my shoots, have more projects where I’m running the show. Its why I went back to school and why I like to OSTs since my favorite producers give me more control.”

Tae and Adora shared a smile then. Jungkook knew they hadn’t started as friends due to a misunderstanding about Adora accompanying Tae on a song instead of Jimin, but now all three were fairly close. At least one of them tried to show up whenever she busked in Seoul.

“Well hey,” Hoseok drew their attention, grin on his face. “If Tae’s any good, Joonie, we’re gonna have to save up so we can hire him to do the visuals for our next CD instead of using Yoongi’s cheesy freshman year photography knockoffs.”

Yoongi squawked while Taehyung practically lunged over the table to grab Hoseok’s hands, promising he’d do their album for free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Taehyungie and Jiminie*


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would describe this chapter as...building.  
> Oh, and there is lots of cursing, as well as very unflattering and untrue things said about New Age toward the end of the chapter.

Yoongi started the day in the bigger studio with Joon and Hobi recording the rap line for one of the group songs. El Capitxn had some company meetings he couldn’t avoid and the other two Songbird producers were recording one of the promotional covers with Eunha, Sowon and Jaehyun in the smaller studio where Yoongi had spent most of his time in the building.

They had been taking turns throughout the morning, monitoring the recordings and working on the arrangements for the other songs, but after lunch Joon had sent Yoongi to sit on the back couch and work the arrangements while he and Hobi finished with recording the verses and adlibs.

“Don’t whine hyung, it will be good for you to disappear in your work for a little while, and you’re the best at arranging songs anyway.

Joon had been right.

Yoongi was exhausted mentally. He liked all the producers, he liked the guys in New Age, he’d even liked hanging out with Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung the day before. But his social battery was drained.

So Yoongi put on his huge noise cancelling headphones, pulled up the files in their shared dropbox file, and got to work.

He wasn’t completely sure how long he’d sat on the couch working, but eventually he needed to pee. Yoongi saved his work, re-uploaded it to the cloud and closed his laptop. He was surprised to see the entire group was back in the studio. He must have worked longer than he’d thought. Yoongi stood up stretched and checked to make sure they weren’t actively recording while mumbling something about going to the bathroom.

It didn’t take that long to amble down the hall, take care of business, wash his hands and amble back. He text Namjoon before heading back in to make sure he wasn’t interrupting. He got the all clear to come back in less than a minute later from Hobi.

“Hey! Who are you? You aren’t authorized to be here!”

Yoongi had already opened the door to the studio when the man started yelling. He turned around to face the stranger. The guy was in his late twenties or early thirties. Taller than Yoongi, but just a bit, with a relatively attractive though round face and some poorly styled thinning hair.

The ugly scowl and the red face did take away whatever, whatever the guy might have had going for him.

“Ah, Minyeom-nim, outside producers are allowed in the building as long as they are working with Songbird artists and their presence on company property has been approved.”

DK had come to the door of the studio. He was smiling, but it was one of those jaw clenched, if only I could punch you smiles. Yoongi knew Seokmin was smart and well-spoken, but whoever this guy was, DK seemed to hate the man.

Yoongi looked past the rapper's shoulder to Namjoon. Joon gave a short nod and pulled out his phone, thank god.

The stranger pushed past DK and Yoongi into the studio.

“There are others, not just this one? And you let them use our equipment.”

Minghao stood, lazy and slow but sneering.

“Seokmin just told you, they’ve been approved to be here.”

The man let out a small huffy laugh.

“I bet they weren’t approved to use equipment without supervision from a Songbird producer. I’m New Age’s lead producer, I would have heard otherwise.”

Ah, now Yoongi knew who this was. Fuck this guy, he was a shitty producer and also seemed to be a prick.

Yijeong and Jaehyun walked into the studio, slightly out of breath, like they’d run from the studio where they were completing the cover.

“Ah, Minyeom-nim, what brings you to the main guest studio? I thought your studio was on the third floor.”

The other producer crossed his arms and sneered at Yijeong.

“I’m pretty sure you know where my studio is, since you’re on the same floor.”

Yijeong nodded.

“Yes, but separate hallways, I never see you in the third floor break room, so I forget.”

Minyeom sniffed and turned to Jaehyun.

“So you set this up, behind our backs.”

Yoongi could almost hear Jaehyun’s teeth grind together.

“No, no Minyeom, it was nothing like that! The boys wanted some help on their album concept, and since both our teams are so busy, I got in contact with some people I’ve worked with in the past to help them out.”

“Ah, so you’re the one trying to sabotage their next album. You should know their capabilities, you’re forced to work with these idols often enough for collabs and covers. I know you’ve managed to get an artsy, indie vibe out of your girls, but Yijeong, their fans don’t care if their music is good. They care if it's catchy and fast enough the boys will dance and hip thrust on stage, or sappy enough they can pretend their idols are crooning to them while they get of.”

Minyeom looked around the room and Yoongi did as well. He’d been so focused on his work he’d missed all the other New Age members, excluding Jaehyun, coming back to the studio earlier in the day.

They were all there, listening to this man degrade them as nothing more than masturbatory toys.

Even Jungkook.

The singer looked angry but also like, did he believe this piece of shit?

Yoongi opened his mouth and took a half step forward but Hosek grabbed his arm and squeezed tight. 

Yoongi looked at his friend. Hobi shook his head.

“You know, most say the harder ones to corral are the male fans, so obsessed with their idol girls. But Buddies like it when GFriend is experimental, when they try things-,” Yijeong looked Minyeom in the eye, “-when they’re happy and fulfilled. New Age doesn’t have the exact same talents as GFriend, but they do have their own talents. I think they’ll surprise you, Minyeom-nim.”

Minyeom snorted again and shook his head.

“If they had any real talent, we would have seen it before now. If you’ve got strange producers in the building, make sure at least one company producer is supervising them, or I’ll be making a report.”

Jungkook had tears in his eyes now, both of his lips pulled in a straight line while he tried not to cry.

Hoseok was digging his nails into Yoongi’s arm by the end of the conversation between the two Songbird producers.

He was shaking with rage.

“Fuck that, fuck him. Ya know, if you all have been singing shitty songs only good for a bad masturbation soundtrack that’s because it's the only shit that fucking hack can make. Any single good thing, in all the music he's put out has been from you seven, not him. If he really thinks that shit, if he REALLY thinks that and still brags about being New Age’s lead fucking producer, than he’s a piss poor producer who only makes soulless music. How can he settle for that? You aren’t! You’re here, busting your asses, determined to give yourselves more, and give the people who love you more. Fuck his shitty ass music. He had seven amazing artists. Do you know what I would have given, making music in my shitty little apartment, to have even one person as talented as you all? You are artists, but, it sounds fucking creepy, but you’re also instruments. And he didn’t know what the fuck to do with seven fucking beautiful instruments. But you know what to do with yourselves. And you’re doing it. Fuck that guy.”

Yoongi ends his rant staring at his own shoes. Maybe he went too far.

BamBam starts giggling first, then Mingyu and Yugyeom. DK, El Capitxn and The8 start clapping and Hoseok rubs his arm. Yoongi glances up to see a heart-shaped smile on his friend’s face.

A hand clasps his should, scaring the fuck out of Yoongi. It’s Jaehyun, a beaming smile and tears in his eyes.

“Thank you Suga-hyung.”

“Man Jaehyun, why didn’t you get us a Navie producer earlier?” Yugyeom said, DK and The8 voicing their agreement.

Yoongi looked down at his shoes, again, pleased and embarrassed before looking up at Jungkook. Their eyes locked.

The tears weren’t gone. Yoongi knew it didn’t work like that, tears didn’t just disappear. But he was smiling. Not like Yugyeom, or DK, or Jaehyun. Jungkook’s smile was somehow both content and wanting, like, like that feeling people get watching old home movies, or reading books about happy people in places they’ll never visit, or the feeling, the ache in Yoongi’s chest, when he looked at Jungkook.

Oh, oh

Jungkook’s smile grew, even happier, but still content, still wanting. He was beautiful.

Inside Yoongi’s chest, he burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo.... what do ya think?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one for ya

“So, watch, this is how I’m fading your voice out to sound more distant and echoed.”

Jungkook watched Namjoon slide one of the many switches on the soundboard, listening to his own voice become faded and distant.

“I already did the same effect to the rest of the vocal line, so lets put them back together...bring in The8 over top...and… this is what we’ve got.”

Jungkook listened to Minghao rap about waking up to a new day when the previous one never seemed to end, when you never wanted it to end, New Age’s vocal line present but faraway.

Oh, it was perfect.

This is what Seokmin wanted when he said he couldn’t keep working with their old producers. None of them had the vocabulary to describe what they wanted, but this was it. Their regular producers watched line distributions and put in dance breaks because they needed a dance break. Suga, RM and J-Hope didn’t really pay any attention to who did what, though Suga was a little more mindful that some fans did care about those things.

Jungkook had watched the three friends and producers bicker about it over dinner the night before when Jungkook and BamBam had joined their table in the employee cafeteria.

“If we have to perfectly balance every member in the band in every song, then we’re not making music, we’re making marketing material,” Hoseok had argued.

Yoongi shook his head and finished chewing before he responded.

“I’m not telling you to balance out each member in each song. That’s dumb. I’m telling you to keep it in mind in relation to the whole album. The band doesn’t need to be equally distributed in each song, but try to make sure they each shine within the entire work of the album. Not because of marketing, but because all seven are part of telling that album’s story.”

Hoseok had squinted and tilted his head while thinking about what Yoongi said. Then the other producer had nodded and gone back to his food.

Jungkook and BamBam had shared excited and slightly awed looks over their own dinner. Their producers weren’t arguing over who’s vocal or verses would be the most popular, they were discussing the artistic and musical integrity of their album.

The three outside producers, as well as the GFriend producers, had taken time to show the New Age members some small parts of the production process. Adora had told Jungkook and DK it was fun for the GFriend producers to show them the ropes. The women in GFriend focused their artistry on the performance side of things, spending more time with vocal coaches than the producers.

“I don’t think that makes their music less impressive! How many idol groups can sing that many of their songs completely acapella?”

Adora had then gone back to showing Jungkook and DK some tricks you can play with how you layer sounds.

El Capitxn’s careful schedule had eroded as the week went on, producers and singers hopping between studios regularly as ideas popped up or problems arose. Everyone had gotten a little punchy too.

Hoseok had started forcing dance breaks. Adora would start singing random warmups. Mingyu had taken to screaming into pillows and Ygyeom and BamBam had been found wrestling in a surprisingly empty studio.

(Ah, hm, Jungkook was pretty sure they were wrestling. If they weren’t, he’d have to deal with that later.)

Two different times, Jungkook had watched Yoongi whine at some unexpected problem, then slowly collapse into a ball on the ground where he continued to whine. Yugyeom had been in the studio the second time it happened.

“God, really? Even when he’s crying in a heap on the ground?”

Apparently Jungkook’s heart eyes had been on full display and continued to appear throughout the week, especially when Yoongi did something right on the border of cute and too much.

Jungkook partially listened to Namjoon’s lesson, but mostly he was thinking about Yoongi.

Over the past few days everyone spent longer and longer hours in the studios. Jungkook had seen Yoongi tired, bored, overwhelmed, annoyed, hungry, frustrated and loppy from different combinations of those other feelings. 

He never yelled, well, unless he was in a very goofy mood. Then he did this weird thing where he yelled and wiggled his arms. It was cute. Weird, but cute.

Yoongi needed quiet time. Namjoon or Hoseok would regularly push Yoongi down onto a couch and tell him to work by himself or read some webtoons. Just like how Jaehyun or Yugyeom often forced Jungkook to go sit in a corner with his sketch pad or switch when he started zoning out too much.

Jungkook hadn’t just learned about Yoongi from watching him. The older man would also mention little things about himself in conversation, throwaway comments Jungkook valued like pieces of treasure.

Yoongi had an older brother who’d taught him how to cook.

He liked putting things together and working with his hands.

In high school, he’d rarely gotten in trouble.

Yoongi was from Daegu, and he loved camping on the mountain when he was younger.

He and Namjoon shared an interest in space.

The studio door opened and pulled Jungkook from his thoughts, er, his lesson.

“Alright, come on, everyone in the studio out in the hallway, now!”

Next to Jungkook Namjoon groaned. Jungkook giggled.

“Oh buck up Joon, I know you’ve missed pilates this whole week. How much grief do you want from your instructor when you go back, hm?”

Namjoon grumbled about athletic perky people trying to force his limbs into unnatural shapes when he needed to work, but they both got up and walked out the door.

Hoseok had started forcing everyone through a nightly stretching-dance routine. New Age was excused if they had a real dance practice earlier in the day, and Adora had been excused the day before when she’d taken an early morning kickboxing class. But she was also better at remembering to get up and stretch when she’d been sitting for a long time.

Jungkook positioned himself between a still grumbling RM and Jaehyun. He didn’t see Yoongi.

Hoseok started the music on his phone before Yoongi left one of the studios. Jungkook followed along with the stretches, which built in difficulty but could all be done standing in a hallway.

Where was Yoongi? Hoseok hadn’t excused him from the previous three late night stretch sessions.

They moved into a dance, something easy and silly but fast, so it would get them moving. It wasn’t hard to follow along without giving Hoseok his full attention.

Was Yoongi sick? Or too far behind on work?

Finally it was over, and Jungkook could ask.

“Hoseok-ssi, ah I mean Hoseok-nim, where is Yoongi-hyung?”

Hoseok’s brow rose out the nickname and Jungkook could feel his face heat.

The producer shared a look with RM before answering.

“His shoulder is acting up. He’s icing it in the far left studio. Joonie, I think we should work there with him for the rest of the night?”

Jungkook heard RM agree, and he bit his lip. You have to ask, you have to actually open your mouth.

“Can, ah, can I...come with you? To, to s-see Yoongi-hyung?”

Hoseok and Namjoon shared a look before Hoseok answered.

“I don’t see why not, but let me check on him first. What do you still need to do tonight?”

“Tomorrow I’m finishing up my solo with hyung, but tonight I have to be around for background vocals and then the bridge of one song.”

Hoseok nodded then walked to the far left studio. Namjoon and Jungkook went to get their things in the studio where they’d been previously, now occupied by Minghao, Jaehyun and one of the GFriend producers.

Jungkook’s fingers tightened around his sketch pad as they walked to the other studio.

Namjoon softly knocked and Hoseok opened the door.

“You can both come in. He’s kinda in and out right now. I need to switch to the heat pack in about 15 minutes.”

“I can do that.”

Jungkook bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t take it back. Hoseok gave him a long look, then a small smile.

“Yea, that’d be great Jungkook, much appreciated.”

In the studio, Yoongi was laid out flat, face-first on the couch, a funny looking ice pack contraption strapped to his shoulder.

“Hey, hyung, Hobi said your shoulder is wack.”

Yoongi grunted in reply to Namjoon’s comment.

“Did he help stretch you out?”

Yoongi grunted again, this time in the affirmative.

“Ah, Jungkook needs some quiet, so he asked if he could chill here with us while we work on some arrangements, that good with you?”

Jungkook winced when he saw Yoongi’s back tense, but the producer's muscles soon relaxed again. Yoongi hummed and Namjoon smiled at Jungkook, motioning with his head for Jungkook to follow him into the studio.

Jungook sat on the floor with his back against one wall. From here, he could see Yoongi on the couch as well as the two producers working at the soundboard. He pulled out his sketch pad and just let himself drift, Namjoon and Hoseok discussing the edits from the American producer in the background.

A little while later a timer went off, surprising everyone in the room.

“Ah Jungkook! Can you take this to the breakroom microwave? Put it in for five minutes, then bring it back here.”

Jungkook nodded and jumped up, leaving his sketch pad on the floor to take the weird bean-thing from Hoseok.

He thought about Yoongi on his way to the break room, and while he was heating up the bean-thing. Of course he was thinking about Yoongi. Jungkook couldn’t shake off this feeling that it was his fault.

It didn’t make sense.

He wasn’t there when Yoongi got hit, Yoongi wasn’t delivering food to him and they hadn’t been talking or anything like that.

But he still felt guilty. He just did.

He brought the bean-thing back and tried to give it back to Hoseok. The other man shook his head.

“Yoongi can do this part. He just needs a little help getting the ice pack off, but you can do that.”

He-what?

Jungkook looked at Yoongi. He was still laying on the couch, but now his head was turned. He looked up at Jungkook and smiled.

“Its okay, hyung can do it.”

“No, no! Let me help you!”

Jungkook moved to the couch and knelt down. Yoongi still did most of the work getting himself out of the ice pack wrap thing, but Jungkook offered his assistance getting the wrap over his head.

Yoongi sighed and rolled his shoulders once it was off.

“Alright. Now the heat pack.”

Yoongi resettled on the couch, this time facing Jungkook. Jungkook, still kneeling next to the couch, listened to Yoongi’s instructions in how to place the pack.

He watched it move up and down with Yoongi’s breath.

“Hey, no sad face, I really am alright.”

Yoongi must have seen some of Jungkook’s guilt on his face. The producer huffed out a small laugh.

“Really, most of the time it doesn’t hurt that bad, just at the end of a long day. Even that’s getting better. I just spent too many days in chairs without doing those fucking stretches.”

Jungkook put his chin on his knees and pouted.

“Then don’t skip anymore and I won’t make sad faces.”

Yoongi laughed again, the corners of his lips curling.

“These demands on your hyung. Is this how you get your elders to do what you want.”

Jungkook nodded, chin still on his knees. Yoongi laughed harder.

Jungkook has always liked watching people laugh. It isn’t a popular opinion, but Jungkook thinks people look odd when they laugh, even pretty people don’t look pretty. Their faces scrunch up, their lips make weird shapes, all these little lines show up. Some people make weird noises, or move in funny ways.

But he likes that.

When people really laugh, they look a little ugly and Jungkook thinks that’s beautiful.

When a person really, really laughs, they don’t look fake. They aren’t lying, they aren’t hiding, they’re happy. He can trust it and be happy too.

When Yoongi smiles, his eyes get small and his mouth opens wide, stretching across most of his face, showing his gums and almost showing his molars.

It isn’t pretty but it's beautiful.

Fuck, this hyung is beautiful.

His laugh stops, but the smile is still there.

“Show hyung what you were drawing.”

Jungkook blinks. He doesn’t even know what he was drawing, but he stretches out on the floor to grab his pad anyway. The page is still open and present Jungkook is kinda pissed with Jungkook-from-five-minutes-ago, because that means Yoongi sees Jungkook’s drawing at the same time as Jungkook.

It's the beginning of a face, definitely more of a quick sketch than a real drawing, but it doesn’t look like anyone in New Age. It doesn’t look like Tae, or Jimin, or any of the producers or another artist under their label. It doesn’t look like Jungkook either, and therefore doesn’t look like his brother or parents.

It looks like Yoongi.

The man looks down at the picture, studying it in silence. Jungkook’s chest feels tight.

“You are so, so talented Jungkook-ah.”

“Hyung, you, ah, you don’t have to-to call me by my given name.”

Yoongi looks at him, mouth in a pout and a little line between his brows that Jungkook will not touch. The older man looks confused.

“What else would I call you?”

“Ah, you know, just a-an-anything you, um, you wanted to call me, like any, um, nickname or, or um, you don’t, ah, you don’t have to! Like, ever. You can just, eum, call me what, a what you like.”

Jungkook should go to one of the nearby construction projects and see if there was any drying cement he could throw himself into.

Yoongi smiled again, this one small. And special. It made Jungkook want to lean in close.

“I’ll keep that in mind, but I like your name.”

Jungkook could stare at Yoongi for hours, if he could, if it wasn’t too much for his poor little heart.

His eyes were so pretty. And Jungkook liked Yoongi’s eyebrows? Was that weird?

RM interrupted Jungkook’s weird eyebrow focused inner monologue. It was embarrassing, but Yoongi seemed to jump a little bit too.

“Ya, hyung, it's time to go! Jin came to pick us up.”

Yoongi groaned and sat up, letting the bean-thing fall to his lap. He stretched and rolled his shoulders again, then stood.

“Here, Jungkook-ah.”

He reached down with his good arm to help Jungkook to his feet.

Jungkoo knew he was blushing but it's not like he was going to turn down an opportunity to hold Yoongi’s hand.

Oh, Jungkook thought while Yoongi helped him to his foot. Oh, Yoongi has nice hands. A little rough in the places where he picks at his cuticles, nails bitten down, but otherwise his hands are calloused but still soft, like he works hard but regularly puts on lotion.

Jungkook grabbed his things and checked his phone. Half his members had already gone home and Sejin promised to arrange a car for the rest whenever they were ready to leave. Jungkook text his manager back asking a car to meet him at the same entrance Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok use.

In his own head, Jungkook was shameless. Anything to spend a few more minutes with Yoongi.

“Ah, can I walk out with you guys? I’m heading home too.”

Hoseok’s look was a little knowing, but all three producers nodded. Jungkook tucked his chin to his chest and went to grab his own things while the producers put on their coats.

Yoongi had a ridiculous number of layers on. Jungkook tried not to giggle until Hoseok said something about Yoongi looking like a little kid dressed by his mother on a cold day. Then Jungkook couldn’ hold back his giggles. He almost fell over laughing with Hoseok.

Yoongi just watched him with this, look, Jungkook couldn’t describe. But it made it hard to breath in a different way.

Eventually they started walking to the exit, though halfway there, RM realized he forgot something. He sent them ahead, Hoseok and Yoongi grumbling about how often Namjoon loses shit or forgets important things, like his identification or the keys to his apartment. Jungkook watched his feet and giggled as their stories about Namjoon’s forgetfulness became more and more extreme.

“There is no way he lost his passport on a plane,” Jungkook said while opening the side entrance door.

He braced himself against the cold air that rushed past all of three of them into the building.

“Its true! You can ask Jin!”

At Hoseok’s comment, Jungkook looked up to see a very tall, very beautiful man standing on the curb next to an older Hyundai.

He looked a little cross and he was stomping his feet, likely against the cold.

“Ya, Yoongichi, you better get over here, I’m freezing my perfectly formed ass off for you.”

Jungkook watched Yoongi grumble and walk over to the other man while fighting a smile.

The tall man hugged Yoongi and the producer seemed to snuggle up to the other man.

Oh, oh

That, of course. 

Of course.

Why would someone like Yoongi be single?

Jungkook should know, he should know, Yoongi’s just a fan, and now a producer. A very nice producer, but that’s it. There’s no reason for Jungkook to imagine he’d ever have a change with someone like Yoongi.

Sure, he’s famous. But he’s quiet and weird. And even if Yoongi didn’t decide he hated after Jungkook after getting to know him, he’s got this amazing Jin person, and he’s obviously in-

“Hyung!”

Namjoon barrels bast Jungkook, who is still standing two steps in front of the door. He runs up to Yoongi and the tall guy named Jin. He wraps a hand around the tall guy’s neck and pulls him down to-

To kiss him.

Yoongi makes a face and Hoseok starts laughing.

“Ya, Namjoon-ah! Can’t you wait to kiss your boyfriend until he’s no longer using me as a heater?”

“Why would Jin use you as a heater? You’re a little block of ice all the way through. Come on Jin, you know Hoseok is the better option.”

Yoongi squeaks his protest while Hoseok nods.

Then, Yoongi looks back at Jungkook.

“Ah, Jungkook-ah, would you like to meet Jin, Namjoon’s boyfriend and our other best friend.”

“What kind of question is that, Yoongichi, of course he wants to meet me!”

It feels like Jungkook floats over to their little group.

“Hello, Jeon Jungkook of New Age, I’m Kim Seokjin, their keeper.”

Namjoon snorts while the other two complain.

“Ah, hi, it really is nice to meet you. They talk about you a lot but they didn’t, um-”

Shit, that sounded bad, like, I’m-weird-to-gay-people bad.

Seokjin just gives Jungkook a knowing smile. Kinda like Hoseok’s knowing smile, which is also not welcomed. Jungkook does not need to be exposed like this.

“So, you didn’t know that I’m with Namjoon, not Yoongi.”

Jungkook feels his face turn bright red and he sees Yoongi freeze out of the corner of his eye.

Thank any fucking god or demon or Taehyung’s angels, just literally anything, because the car for Jungkook pulls up right then.

Jungkook isn’t sure how gracefully he says good-bye, but he says something and runs away to the car, where he throws open the door then throws himself in the back seat where he curls up in a little ball, too embarrassed to look out the car window as the car drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Jungkook!
> 
> Will Yoongi get this EXTREMELY obvious clue?


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Yoongi

Tomorrow is their last day at the Songbird studios. Yoongi has done a really good job of ignoring all the feelings related to that countdown.

“That was good Jungkook-ah, lets run it one more time, but this time I actually want you to also sing the next line too.”

In the booth Jungkook smiled and nodded, floppy hair momentarily covering his face.

Yoongi carefully ignored the way his breath caught in his throat and started the music again, along, then hit record.

“Lights” was written to be a group song. Yoongi still showed the song to Jungkook because he believed the singer had the vocal range to perform the full three-part chorus. And it fit the theme of the album.

Yoongi had furiously worked on writing three verses for the song, getting help from Joon, Hoseok and the GFriend producers. The last verse had actually come in part from Jungkook.

A few days before he’d come into the room blushing and stuttering with a notebook in his hand. Namjoon had told Jungkook to bring his old lyrics to Yoongi.

“What is love? If there’s an answer, I want to know right now.”

Yoongi was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be a lyric, just a note of frustration, but Yoongi crafted the last verse around that question. And now Jungkook was singing it.

Eyes closed, face tilted up, almost whispering that question.

“What is love? If there’s an answer I want to know right now.”

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at Yoongi.

Right, that, that was what he asked Jungkook to sing.

“Alright, good job Jungkook-ah, let's get the rest of this verse done and maybe we’ll get done in time to get an early dinner at the caf.”

Jungkook smiled and nodded again.

God, he was something.

Yoongi started the music and hit record.

It was hard being around Jungkook. All these little glimpses Yoongi had before, that was enough to drive him crazy and make him pretty much fall for Jungkook. The kid was warm, sweet, talented, goofy and just, so good.

He’d do anything to make sure Jungkook succeeded.

Yoongi wasn’t blind or dumb. He’d gotten a lot of shit from Jin the night before about Jungkook’s obvious crush.

So what? Jungkook had a crush.

If it was because of the near constant attention Yoongi gave him, then Jungkook’s crush was a little sad, both for him and for Yoongi.

If the kid actually liked Yoongi, well, that was flattering.

It was still just a little crush. Yoongi wasn’t going to force his devotion and general desire for a serious relationship on a kid with a crush on his hyung.

Yoongi was Jungkook's hyung. He was taking that responsibility seriously. Jungkook could flirt and stare and blush and Yoongi would let him without pushing further or pulling back. Then, when Yoongi stopped being in the studio everyday, Jungkook’s crush would fade, but it would be a happy memory of a hyung treating him kindly instead of some terrible story about getting his heart crushed or being stuck with some loser right when his career was taking off.

That’s what’s best for Jungkook.

“Alright, final recording, then we eat.”

Jungkook let out a cute little cheer, then they did their final recording.

Yoongi looked at his watch.

“Shit, the caf is closed. Lets see if the others want to get dinner.”

“Ah, hyung, I can help you shut everything down?”

Jungkook was out of the booth now, looking down at Yoongi, both nervous and excited. Yoongi nodded and lightly kicked at the chair next to him. Jungkook had remembered most of the steps, but he made sure to ask Yoongi before he hit any buttons just in case.

Yoongi liked seeing Jungkook like this, calm and attentive, happy in a quiet, content sort of way.

After shutting everything down, they head to the larger studio.

Inside, they’re still hard at work on a subunit song and Yijeong tells them the others are still working too.

Fuck, Yoongi’s hungry.

“Ya, Jungkook, take him to that Halal place, the one with the lamb skewers!”

Yoongi feels Jungkook almost vibrate next to him at Yugyeom’s suggestion. Yugyeom was the picture of innocence, but BamBam was trying not to giggle.

Yoongi pointedly ignored Namjoon.

“Sure, it's in walking distance? Is that okay with you Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded with a small and slightly goofy smile on his face.

They got ready to brave the cold, Yoongi in his layers and Jungkook in a long coat with a thick scarf. He’s not wearing any kind of headgear.

Yoongi clicked his tongue.

“Aigoo, are your ears not important? Did your mother never scold you properly for going out without covering your head?”

Jungkook giggled and patted his head.

“I don’t want to mess up my hair and make the stylist noonas mad, so I usually don't keep a hat on me.”

Yoongi clicked his tongue again and pulled out his spare headband.

“Come here.”

Yoongi pulled the headband over Jungkook’s head, down his neck, then pulled it back up, adjusting his hair around the band.

“There.”

He pulled his hands away from Jungkook’s hair and looked the other man in the face. Yoongi hadn’t really thought about how close they were standing.

The way Jungkook looked at him, like he was special somehow, it made Yoongi’s heart clench. Soon, soon Jungkook wouldn’t look at him like that. If Yoongi was careful, maybe Jungkook would still care about the random independent producer who helped him with his first solo.

But he wouldn’t look at Yoongi like this.

Yoongi turned away and cleared his throat.

“So, ah, which way are we headed?”

Jungkook shook himself, cute, and then started in the direction of the restaurant. Yoongi fell into step next to Jungkook.

They are led to their table by a young woman in a headwrap who asks Jungkook if he and the others are eating enough. Jungkook blushes and nods before sitting down across from Yoongi/

“So, you come here a lot?”

Jungkook nodded and grabbed one of the menus.

“Yup, everyone with SIngbrid does. Well, most people at Songbird.”

Yoongi hummed and the girl came back to their table with small glasses of water.

“Do you need some tea? Seems like you’ve been recording rather late, is he the one making you work?”

She tilted her head toward Yoongi. Jungkook giggled and shook his head.

“No, I want to work this late! You can’t tell anyone, but we’re working on a big project. We’re all excited, even Minghao.”

The girl blushes and Jungkook tries to hide his grin. Yoongi covers his own laugh with a very fake cough.

She promises Jungkook a small glass of tea instead of a whole pot, then leaves the table.

“The8 bias, huh?”

Jungkook laughs again. Fuck, Yoongi loves his laugh.

“No, she doesn’t really listen to idol music, she's more into R&B, and her folks like all that old stuff parents always like.”

Yoongi laughs then, before asking Jungkook’s advice on the food. They decided to do with the skewers and a couple different side dishes.

The young lady came back with tea, for both of them, and took their order.

“They really just let you guys walk down here?”

Jungkook nodded and finished swallowing the tea in his mouth before answering.

“Yea. It's close to the main building, they don’t tell because they like a lot of us and people cater from here all the time. And the managers don’t get nervous about us being here alone because they don’t serve alcohol.

Yoongi hummed again and sipped his own tea.

It was awkward, but the kind of awkward that comes with butterflies in your stomach, not discomfort.

“Are you excited to present the album concept?”

The singer pursed his lips and looked down at his hands.”

“Yea, but more nervous. It, it could really go wrong, really easily. And I don’t know what we’d do, if something like that happened. I don’t know how the others would react or, or how I would.”

Jungkook looked up and shook his head.

“I don’t know how to go back to before, after this week. I’m actually a part of this music. It's different. And I love it.”

Yoongi didn’t know what to say. There were a lot of things he wanted to promise Jungkook, but he couldn’t. He refused to tell Jungkook something that might not be true.

So he told him something true instead.

“I always, always knew this was in you. And if things go bad, I’m still proud of you.”

The girl brought back their food before Jungkook started crying.

They dug into their food quickly. Yoongi groaned over the absolutely amazing meat.

“Fuuuuuck, Jungkook, how do you not eat here every day!”

Yoongi opened his eyes. He’d closed them to fully appreciate the perfect piece of lamb. Jungkook was blushing, his eyes wide.

Ah, Yoongi had pretty much moaned in public. So, that happened.

He felt his own face heating and looked back down at his food.

“Um, ah, when, ah, when did you meet Namjoon and Hoseok, and, ah, Seokjin?”

Yoongi thought about the day before watching Jungkook run away when Jin had alluded to the younger man’s crush.

“Seokjin was my roommate in college, and I met Namjoon through rapping. Hoseok and Namjoon were in the same year at college, and I met Hobi through Joon.”

Jungkook nodded again. He pushed the food on his plate around with his chopsticks.

“I lived with Jin for years. He’s a great roommate, best ever, but watching him and Joon pine after one another for well over a year was painful.”

Jungkook glanced up.

“What, ah, what did you study, in school?”

Yoongi sighed.

“I did music production and business management. The business management was to keep my parents happy. It sucked. Most things about school suck. The only reason I liked music production was so much of it was really hands on. Well, some of the gen ed classes are cool, but its not like you get to chose them, or make sure you don’t end up with a fucking terrible professor.”

Jungkook relaxed as Yoongi talked. His reaction confused Yoongi, until it didn't. Jungkook hadn’t gone to college. Some of the other members took online classes, but Jungkook wasn’t one of them.

“So, Jungkook, now is the time to tell hyung which of the fan rumors are true. Who snores? Who never cleans? Is it true Minghao curses you all out in different languages?”

Jungkook laughed again, putting up a hand to hide his mouth full of food.

“You already know that last one is true. And none of us are great at cleaning. Sejin threatens us with bland dinners and unwanted photo shoots to make us clean up.”

Yoongi snorted and moved some food to Jungkook’s plate. He didn’t like thinking of the idol’s diet, even if it wasn’t extreme.

“Hyung, do, ah, do you like your new job?”

Yoongi stopped eating. Jungkook looked worried, and a little guilty. It didn’t make sense to Yoongi, but he knew the singer took on unnecessary guilt. He didn’t want to talk about working as a dishwasher with a famous idol singer, but if that’s what he needed to do to take away any guilt Jungkook felt, he would.

“I do like it, at least I like it a lot better than my last job. The people are nice, and now I don’t have to talk to customers. One of my co-workers actually made me that ice pack wrap.”

Yoong went back to his food but kept talking.

“My brother is a chef, trained for it and everything. He’s friends with one of the guys running the restaurant, so he got me the job.”

“You have an older brother?”

Yoongi nodded, and told Jungkook all about Geumjae.

Jungkook told Yoongi about his brother as well, and the rest of his family, all the things an idol carefully keeps away from their fans. It led to stories of both of them growing up, then stories about their current group of friends. Somehow they got into a debate about the best Korean gang movies, then their favorite Marvel superhero movies. Yoongi already knew Iron Man was Jungkook’s favorite. Then they moved on to other topics.

They avoided the heavy things. But they avoided those things with a warm smile, an agreement to save those things for another time, not to hide them.

Yoongi was talking about how much he hated Show Me The Money when the girl came and told them the restaurant was about to close.

Oh

They’d been sitting at the table for hours.

Both men awkwardly laughed and put their layers back on for the long walk back to the Songbird building.

Yoongi tried not to compare this feeling in his chest to the way he felt after his first date with Kihyun.

He tried not to think about the smitten look on Jungkook’s face, or the way he couldn’t stop grinning.

“Hyung?” Jungkook said, when they could see the building’s side entrance. 

“Yes, Jungkook-ah?”

“Can, um, can I still talk to you? After this week?”

He looked nervous but happy. He was biting his lip but his eyes were shining and bright.

Fuck, he should say no. But that’s not what a nice hyung does. And that’s not what Yoongi wanted to do.

“Of course Jungkook-ah, we can talk whenever you want.”

Jungkook gave Yoongi a big, dazzling smile.

Yoongi was screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys....


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big day for New Age!
> 
> Also, my one user subscriber, this one is for you!

Jungkook was either going to pass out, throw up or astral project.

He tried to steady his breathing.

In, and out.

In, and out.

The New Age members stood together down the hall from the meeting room, Sejin keeping watch for Mr. Ahn or Minyeom’s team.

“Okay guys, okay. Okay.”

Jaehyun tried to give a speech, like he did before their concerts or award show performances. But he was shaking. Mingyu tucked himself under their leader’s arm and rubbed his back.

DK looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin and Yugyeom was terrifyingly still.

“Hey.”

The group turned to Minghao.

He smiled at them.

“I came to Korea to make music, and a little bit to find myself. I have been blessed to work with you six. I am blessed that you are my friends. No matter what happens in there, I’m proud of us. The producers who worked with us, our managers, the stylist noonas, our sisters with GFriend, they are proud of us too.”

Minghao wrapped an arm around BamBam and grabbed Jungkook’s shoulder with the other.

“If I have to go through two more years of this contract with their shitty music, I’ll do it, I’ll make it through only because I’m doing it with you. Once this contract is done, we can do all of this again, just a little different.”

Minghao giggled. He actually giggled.

“I still need the vocal line to back me up when I release my first solo album you know? So at least you guys, I need to keep on good terms.”

BamBam pinched Minghao’s side and Seokmin laughed. Mingyu hid his own giggles in Jaehyun’s chest.

A knot in Jungkook’s stomach disappeared. It was one of like 50 knots, but Minghao was right. They’d go into that room together and they’d come out together. New Age had gotten, really, really lucky to have seven guys who all liked each other. It was something rare. 

When they’d first debuted, there had been some talk about having seven people all the same age. 

Who would lead? How would they function without any kind of familial order?

They’d made due. They’d more than made due. Sure, their relationship wasn’t like siblings. Instead they were best friends.

They’d still be together, in some form, 20 years from now. 

Jungkook nodded and looked around the circle at his members.

“I’m ready. What about you guys?”

He put his hand in the middle of their little circle. One by one the others did as well.

“We are-”

“NEW AGE!”

Sejin called them over to enter the conference room.

Mr. Ahn was already seated, as was his two assistants and a few members of the marketing team.

Minyeom and his team entered and bowed right after the New Age members. Everyone sat around the large conference table and waited for Ahn to start the meeting.

Mr. Ahn cleared his throat.

“So, Minyeom, why don’t you present your concept?”

Minyeom stood and bowed again while one of the producers on his team pulled up a powerpoint.

“Ahn-sajangnim, we understand the theme of springtime was not to your liking, so we have restructured our album concept, and will instead show two different options for you to consider.”

Minyeom smiled. Shit, that was probably a good idea. What if they messed up by throwing themselves so fully into one concept?

“First, we have first love. We know that songs with a strong emphasis on our vocal line have been very popular, and since this album will still likely come out in the spring, we can include a song with that theme, as well as more pop oriented songs about a crush and possibly a song about first heartbreak, something along the lines of a ballad.”

Jungkook looked at Mr. Ahn. His face was blank, but he nodded once.

Minyeom went through the next few slides with lots of color and two song samples. They were short and Jungkook thought they weren’t that exciting, but they were catchy.

“Second, we could go in a different direction, really lean into the sex appeal of New Age.”

He flipped to a new page and Jungkook became uncomfortable. It was filled with some of the less...tasteful pictures fans had taken or edited.

Jungkook was a little embarrassed by the edits, but it didn't really bother him that fans found him attractive. (Unless they wanted him to kiss Seokmin, ew, was Jungkook not good enough for Jaehyun, or at least Mingahao? Come on!)

It was different knowing fans thought he was attractive and having semi-naked pictures shown to the CEO of his company in a bid to basically sell him and his members as sex objects.

“The boys aren’t children anymore. It makes sense to capitalize on their adulthood, focus more on sex and less on being cute.”

A new slide, with more colors and stock pictures. There were lots of red lights and black shiny leather.

Minyeom then played a song sample. It was...very suggestive. And demeaning.

Mr. Ahn nodded again.

At the end of Minyeom’s presentation he kept standing, as if waiting for feedback. Instead, Mr. Ahn’s assistant asked Jaehyun if he needed help loading his presentation.

Minyeom tried to hide a scowl and sat down.

Jaehyun and Minghao shared a nervous look. Jungkook reached over to hold Yugyeom’s hand under the table.

“Ah, no. We don’t.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, and tapped it a few times.

They’d put the full, rough edit of each song on his phone, as well as short edits of each song that gave the listener an overview of the piece.

Jaehyun and Minghao both stood. Minghao began the presentation.

“As Minyeom-nim said, we are adults now. New Age is in a between stage in life. We are no longer minors but we’ve truly just entered this new phase in life. This is the dawn of our adulthood. We want to make an album about these in between feelings, like waking up at dawn, moving to a new place, holding on to a promise even though the people who made the promise are not the same, watching the sunset with friends.”

Minghao and Jaehyun shared a look and their leader took a deep breath before he started his part of the presentation.

“We don’t have much of a presentation. We do have some mockups from Kim Taehyung.”

DK passed out the carefully prepared folder of potential mock ups from Tae. Mr Ahn and the marketing team looked through their folders while Minghao continued.

“We are thankful for Taehyung’s contribution to our presentation. What we have for you, is music. We have 11 songs, all still rough, but ready for the next phase of the editing process. We’ve prepared a short compilation of those rough edits. If you are willing to listen, Ahn-sajangnim, it is about seven minutes long.”

Mr. Ahn nodded, and Jaehyun pressed play on his phone. Their music filled the conference room. Jungkook didn’t think he’d feel so emotional hearing this.

It wasn’t even their full songs but, they’d put so much of themselves into this work. The producers too, and Sejin and the other managers had trusted them. Their choreographers had believed in them, and given them the break to focus on this project. Even, oh god, even the cafeteria workers had kept them supplied with tea and cider for their overworked throats, wishing them luck every day at lunch.

The room was silent after the compilation ended.

Mr. Ahn’s face was still carefully blank. Yugyeom squeezed Jungkook’s hand and he squeezed right back.

The CEO looked to the lead member of the marketing team.

“What do you think, Ms. Son?”

The woman hummed.

“We could work with any of the three ideas presented. Minyeom-nim’s first concept and the concept presented by New Age would certainly be preferable over the...sexy concept?”

She looked at the New Age members.

“We have more room to do something original with the idea that is most original, and that is the idea presented by New Age.”

Jungkook chanced a glance at Minyeom. The other man was clenching his jaw and staring daggers at Ms. Son.

Mr. Ahn nodded and then stood. The rest of the room stood with him.

“I agree with Ms. Son. The idea presented by New Age is in some sense a risk, but what they have presented shows promise. Songbird is unique and successful because we let our artists be unique with a team of talented people to make them successful. We will move forward with the album presented by the boys.”

He then gave a slight bow and left the room, followed by his team and the marketing team. Ms. Son smiled and bowed to the New Age members before leading her own team out of the room.

They were frozen, in joy on one side of the table and fury on the other. Minyeom and his producers came to first. Minyeom hissed some nasty statement, though Jungkook didn’t hear it and didn’t care, then he stormed out of the room. His producers scurried out behind him.

“You did it, you boys did it!”

Sejin started laughing and hugging them. One by one it seemed to sink in. They were laughing and crying. Yugyeom, BamBam and Jaehyun were holding hands and jumping in a circle. Tears streamed down Seokmin’s smiling face.

Jungkook couldn’t stop laughing.

He just, couldn’t stop.

Sejin and another manager, who was also crying like Seokmin, ushered them out of the conference room, through the building and into their vehicles to go home. Sejin had made sure their schedules were clear for the rest of the day, likely in case the worst happened and the members needed the afternoon to mourn their album.

Their album. They were really going to make their album.

Jungkook slid into his seat in the van and pulled out his phone.

“Hey JK, who ya calling? Jimin and Tae?”

Yugyeom snorted at Seokmin’s question.

“He isn’t calling the hyungs. But I should, I bet they’ll throw us a party.”

Jungkook listened to the phone ring. Pick up, pick up, pick up.

“Hello? Jungkook?”

Oh no. Jungkook hadn’t felt like crying until he heard Yoongi’s voice. He couldn’t stop it now. The stress, the fear and even the joy just rushed to the surface. Jungkook could hear Yoongi panicking while Jungkook sobbed into the phone. He needed to calm himself down, or at least get it out.

“They said yes hyung.”

Another sob, but he laughed through this one.

“Hyung, they accepted our album. We’re finally gonna make our music.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone is gonna hear our song hyung. I’m gonna make sure.”

Yoongi’s voice sounded so gentle and so warm when he answered.

“It’s your song Jungkook, I made it for you.”

Jungkook sniffed again.

“And I made it for you Yoongi-hyung. It's our song. I’m gonna sing our song, at every concert, I’m gonna sing our song.”

Yoongi didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so Jungkook changed the subject, asking Yoongi to call Namjoon and Hoseok. Yoongi promised he would, and congratulated Jungkook again, asked him to give Yoongi’s congratulations to the rest of the group as well.

“I’m, I’d want to talk longer. But I’ve got to start my shift soon.”

“Oh! Right, well, I ah, I just… wanted you to know… I’ll talk to you soon hyung.”

“Whenever you want Jungkook, hyung is proud of you, go celebrate.”

Jungkook said his own good bye and hung up. He stared at the vehicle’s roof.

“So.”

Jungkook looked over at Jaehyun sitting next to him. He felt his face warm.

“It isn’t just a crush, is it?”

Jungkook knew Mingyu and BamBam sitting behind them were likely listening, but Jungkook didn’t really care who knew. He’d given up trying to hide his feelings.

“No, it’s not just a crush.”

Jaehyun pulled Jungkook’s head onto his shoulder and someone, probably BamBam, reached up and massaged the back of his neck.

It was so, so much more than a crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer to the end guys! What do you think?
> 
> I have started outlining what will likely be my next work. I want to have a little more of an end goal in mind before I start writing chapters and publishing. As of right now, it will likely be longer than my Woven Threads fic. It will also be my most....adult fic, if it all comes together. We'll see.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close guys, so close!

This was not Yoongi’s scene.

He, Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin had been invited to a small party at one of Itaewan’s hottest clubs to celebrate New Age’s album approval. Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung apparently had some kind of connection and they’d managed to reserve the top floor of the club with four days notice.

Jimin had also personally called Namjoon and invited Joon as well as his partner.

Yoongi’s own invitation had come via text from Jungkook.

Jungkook had text Yoongi a lot during the last week, and Yoongi did try to reply to Jungkook’s questions, pictures of cute animals and weird memes. But...he didn’t try to respond quickly. It was better for Yoongi if Jungkook got over his crush.

The texts had petered out by midweek, to some degree. And then Jungkook had invited him to this party.

His first instinct had been to say no, but Joon and Hobi had already agreed to go, and Yoongi had first read Jungkook’s text while at work, so his co-workers had insisted he take the night off for his “fancy music party.”

Even knowing most of the people in the room, Yoongi wasn’t comfortable.

Most of the clothes he was wearing he’d borrowed from Hoseok, and he’d put in way too much effort in styling his hair. He still looked out of place.

Yoongi came to the party with his friends, but now Jin, Sowon and Eunha were chatting by the bar, Hoseok was dancing with Jungkook, Taehyung, Yugyeom, BamBam, Yerin, Jackson Wang of all people and some of the other Songbird artists.

He’d just escaped a conversation between Joon, Jimin and Minghao about some novel. Yoongi had a feeling they’d end up making some kind of book club.

But this, standing at the edge of the crowd, drinking a whiskey neat, watching everyone enjoy themselves, this is where Yoongi was most comfortable.

From his place at the edge of the party Yoongi watched Yuju take a few deep breaths like she’s trying to sike herself up. She adjusted her hair around her shoulders, then stood tall and walked over to...Mingyu.

Ah.

He’d seen the frustrating interactions between Mingyu and Yuju over cafeteria lunches during his week working at Songbird. It had surprised Yoongi at first, and humbled him. There was a lot he didn’t see, that no Navie or Buddy saw about their favorite idols.

Mingyu’s pining was obvious. Yuju obviously had not missed it. She gave Mingyu chance after chance after chance. And he blew each one.

If Yoongi could see what was going on, it must be bad.

He watched Yuju approach Mingyu with a bright smile. She said something to Mingyu, then he nodded and looked away. She spoke again and Mingyu seemed to give her another one word answer, still not looking at Yuju. Yuju scowled and said something else, something that must have surprised Mingyu, then rushed away blinking, likely to fight back tears.

Fuck, what a shit show.

Is it worth getting involved? Probably not. But this isn’t Yoongi’s first whiskey. And he’ll take any distraction to stop himself from just watching Jungkook dance and laugh all night.

He walked over to Mingyu’s little bar table.

“You know, Yuju wouldn’t be so upset about what just happened if she didn’t have some feelings for you.”

Mingyu looked up from his own glass and blinked at Yoongi, then sighed and looked away.

“Does everyone know?”

Yoongi nods.

“You don’t really hide it.”

“So does Yuju-.”

Mingyu bit his lip and didn’t finish his question, but Yoongi still answers.

“I’m a nobody who just hung out at the company for a week, but yea, I think she knows. And I think she’s trying.”

Mingyu looked back down at his glass and kicked out one of his feet.

“She shouldn’t try. I’m not worth that kind of mess.”

Yoongi snorted and took a sip from his glass.

“I think she gets to decide that not you. The only thing you get to decide is if she’s not worth the hassle of dating as an idol, or if you’re too good for her.”

Mingyu gave Yoongi a hard look, clenching his jaw, before putting his drink down on the high table and turning fully to Yoongi.

“So, is Jungkook not good enough for you then?” Mingyu asked. 

That, what?

Yoongi easily found Jungkook in the crowd, laughing with Jimin at Namjoon and Seokjin bickering at the bar, probably the same damn argument about having a tv or the time Jin dyed one of Namjoon’s favorite sweatshirts pink.

“I don’t think anyone exists who is too good for Jungkook.” Yoongi said. 

He looked down at his own drink. 

“There is a pretty big difference between you and Yuju and me and, and Jungkook.” 

Mingyu laughed, short and harsh. 

“There really, really isn’t. You know it isn’t new, right?”

Yoongi looked up. He, what?

Mingyu is smiling and shaking his head.

“He was into you long before he knew about Suga, rapper and producer extraordinaire. You know that fan meet, after you delivered food to Jimin and Tae’s place? You didn’t show and he barely made it through the event. Went to the wonder twins’ place that night and came back with his face all puffy from crying. And you’re the first person he called when our album got approved, like right when we walked out of the building, he was calling you. Not his parents, or his brother, or Jimin and Tae. He called you. So if you’re not too good for him, why is he still convinced you only see him as Jungkook from New Age, his favorite idol?”

Yoongi gulped, then took a big swig of his drink before clearing his throat, eyes never leaving Jungkook.

His head was thrown back while he laughed, no, cackled at Joon and Seokjin.

Yoongi made Jungkook cry. Not on purpose, of course not, never.

How much of Yoongi’s decision about letting Jungkook get over his crush was based on what was good for Jungkook and how much was because Yoongi was too fucking scared?

Maybe it wasn’t the best thing for Yoongi.

But, fuck it, when had Yoongi ever stood in the way of Jungkook getting what he wanted? And why was this any different, especially when it might actually be something Yoongi wanted too.

Fuck did he want.

Yoongi put his own glass back on the table and tore his eyes from Jungkook.

He must have looked crazy, because Mingyu’s eyes went wide.

“I’ll make you a deal. You tell Yuju how you feel, tonight, and I’ll do the same with Jungkook.”

The blood rushed in his ears, Yoongi could feel his heart racing, he was scared, he was so fucking scared, but he knew he couldn’t back down. 

Not if he was in anyway hurting Jungkook. If he made a bet like this, he couldn’t backout, he wouldn’t because Min Yoongi might be the kind of fucker who cheated at pretty much every single game on the planet, but he wouldn’t cheat a bet.

Mingyu’s mouth opened and closed a few times like a very cute goldfish, but he blinked a few times and nodded. Then he took a deep breath.

“You’re on.”

Mingyu downed his drink then headed back into the party. Yoongi saw Mingyu approach a very unimpressed Yerin, but he must have convinced her to tell Mingyu where Yuju went because after a few seconds Mingyu kissed the top of Yerin’s head and took off.

Yoongi finished his own drink, ignoring his shaking hands, then went looking for Jungkook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooooooooo....................


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to finish this up!

“Ah Jungkook-ah, can I talk with you?”

Jungkook turned when he heard Yoongi say his name.

He actually didn’t want to talk to the other man.

They’d mostly avoided each other throughout the night, Jungkook unwilling to be even more of an idiot in front of the producer. He’d gotten the hint over the last week as Yoongi’s replies to Jungkook’s texts got shorter and the other man never text him first.

He’d gone way, way outside his comfort zone for Yoongi and he just, he just didn’t want to do it any more.

Yoongi must have seen Jungkook’s hesitation, because he flinched and looked down.

“Please Jungkook?”

Jungkook shared a look with Jimin then nodded.

“Sure hyu- ah, I mean, um, sure.”

Yoongi led Jungkook through the crowd to a small balcony. It was cold, but the club had put a heater outside and the shape of the building mostly blocked the small outdoor space from the wind.

“So, um, what did you want to talk about?”

The balcony wasn’t well-lit, but Jungkook could still make out Yoongi’s face. He was looking back and forth between Jungkook’s eyes. The way he looked at Jungkook wasn’t fair.

“I think I owe you an apology Jungkook.”

Jungkook blinked.

He probably should have expected this. Maybe he was reading into things, Yoongi was a busy person who worked more than one job and-

“Hyung has been avoiding you.”

-oh.

He was right. 

Jungkook wrapped his arms around himself and looked out at the Seoul night skyline.

“I, I think you should know why.”

Jungkook closed his eyes and waited for Yoongi’s careful rejection. 

He’d already thought of a couple different reasons Yoongi didn’t want to talk to Jungkook.

He wanted to keep Jungkook as his favorite idol and getting to know the singer was getting in the way of that. Or Jungkook didn’t meet his expectations and Yoongi wasn’t sure how to say it. Or maybe he just found Jungkook too immature, or too quiet or too-.

“I’m a little in love with you, Jungkook-ah. And I don’t think you should feel that way about me.”

It felt like all the blood in Jungkook’s body stopped moving.

Jungkook opened his eyes.

Yoongi looked small, and cold.

The other man laughed, breathy and sad, and scratched the back of his head.

“I already cared about you. You know that. And, and I could tell you had some kind of feelings for me. But, but you shouldn’t. I live in a gross shoebox apartment and I kill myself working two part-time jobs just so I can keep my place. I don’t always have enough money for food. I can’t buy a new fucking coat. And I, I sometimes-. Sometimes my anxiety makes my brain feel like ants are crawling through my neurons.”

Yoongi looked back up at Jungkook. He looked so, so sad, like he had given up a long time ago. Jungkook just wanted to hold his hand.

“You deserve more than this. You are so beautiful Jungook. Everything about you, the way you sing, the way you laugh, your drawings, your work ethic, your sense of humor, your kindness, your eyes, your-fuck Jungkook, you just, you just deserve more. And if you don’t realize that now, you’ll realize it later.”

Oh

Jungkook’s face was cold and wet. He touched his cheek-yup, he was crying.

“I feel so safe with you hyung. When I’m with you, I feel like, like nothing can touch me. There is so, so much to you I don’t know. And I want to know everything, but, but I thought you- you didn’t want me like that. You only wanted the New Age Jungkook.”

Now Yoongi was crying. Jungkook carefully stepped closer to the older man, gently reached out for his hands.

He didn’t know if he could look at Yoongi’s face, so instead he looked at their clasped hands.

“But, I want you, and I know you are best for me. Yoongi, no one sees me like you do. No one makes me happy like you do. All I have to do is hear your voice, and, and, I can do anything. I can do anything if I’ve got you. And, I, I want to be that, for you.”

Yoongi made a sound very, very close to a sob and pulled Jungkook into his chest.

He ran his hand through Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook closed his eyes and breathed in deep. Maybe this would be the only time Yongi would hold him like this. Yoongi’s lips brushed against his ear.

“Jungkook-ah, I will always want you. Fuck, I think I might need you. I, I would do anything, fucking anything, for you.”

“Then don’t leave me. Don’t push me away.”

Yoongi pulled back and wiped the tears from Jungkook’s cheeks, ignoring the wet streaks on his own face.

“I’m a mess Jungkook, I-”

“Then you’re my mess,” Jungkook interrupted. “You’re my mess, and I’m your mess.”

Yoongi looked into Jungkook’s eyes, searching. Then he smiled, no, beamed at Jungkook.

It was that big, funny smile that showed his gums and stretched across his face.

“Hyung, I don’t care how many jobs you work, or where you live, as long as you’re, you know, safe and shit, but I just want you to be with me. And, and I want to be with you, even when I’m touring halfway around the world. I just-, I just want us to, to be an us.”

Yoongi pulled Jungkook’s face down to his own. He kissed Jungkook just beneath his eye, where Jungkook’s face was wet from tears, then he kissed Jungkook’s other cheek in the same spot.

“I’d do anything for you Jungkook.”

Jungkook rubbed his nose against Yoongi’s cheek.

“I’d do anything for you too hyung.”

“Can, can ah, can hyung kiss you?”

Jungkook’s heart flipped in his chest.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, ye-”

Yoongi giggled, he giggled, then gently pressed his lips to Jungkook’s. 

His lips were chapped and soft and perfect. Jungkook felt like, like he was flying. Or, maybe he was drowning.

Yoongi pulled back and Jungkook watched the older man blink like he was in a daze. Jungkook’s heart was up in his throat.

“Hey, hey hyung, will you be my boyfriend?”

Yoongi looked up at him and smiled, then laughed, his hands still on Jungkook’s cheeks.

“Yes, yes Jungkook-ah, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Jungkook leaned down and pressed his forehead to Yoongi’s. He closed his eyes, let this feeling, this happiness wash over him.

“Good, that’s good.”

Yoongi hummed and rubbed his thumbs over Jungkook’s cheeks.

“Me too hyung. I'm a little in love with you too. Maybe, maybe more than a little.”

“Maybe I’m more than a little in love with you too Jungkook,” Yoongi whispered against Jungkook’s lips.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the epilogue

Epilogue

Yoongi finds himself standing in the cold, once again.

“So, you’ve decided you’re not too good for us regular folk?”

Yoongi sipped his coffee and gave Ryujin a look.

She tried to maintain her faux offense but started giggling.

“She’s right Yoongi, you’ve neglected us, left us to rot while you ascend in the world of music!”

Ten was much better at holding his fake outrage. But he was also drinking an iced Americano that Yoongi bought, so the producer just rolled his eyes and focused his attention on his true love- coffee.

“Really though hyung, you could wait inside, why are you out here with us?”

Yoongi appreciated Yuna asking her question quietly.

Over the past year Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok had become well-known in the world of kpop. Most people wouldn’t recognize them in a store or anything like that, but Navies and Buddies were a little different. The three producers had become popular with a certain set of Songbird fans, like the girls who liked every picture GFriend’s choreo posted of their breakfast or called Sejin “daddy.”

It was strange, and it led to a long conversation with Jungkook about when Yoongi was a fan and if he crossed any boundaries and how Yoongi should handle the small group of followers he’d amassed.

Luckily, Ten still considered Yoongi his own special idiot. If Yoongi was particularly dumb, or didn’t get him VIP passes to New Age concerts, Ten would threaten to reveal Yoongi’s Navie identity. But Yoongi knew it was all a joke.

Ten would much rather wait for Yoongi’s identity to leak and then “cut the bitch” who hurt Yoongi. (Yoongi had learned that phrase from BamBam and Yugyeom, who used it constantly for about a week when their boyfriend Jackson had scheduled a concert series in China over Christmas, New Year’s and Valentine’s Day.)

“Ah Yuna, can’t hyung just enjoy time with his favorite Navies?”

Chaeryeong snorted.

“If I could stand inside, I would, and I’d leave you all behind happily.”

Ten laughed while the other girls gave their own outraged responses.

Yoongi looked up at the stadium.

Seoul Olympic Stadium. They did it, his boys did it.

Jungkook had been too humble when he told Yoongi they’d booked the venue for their annual all-day fan event, followed by an evening concert. A sold out concert.

The album, really the boys’ first album, at least to them, had helped the group take over the Korean market. Even non-idol people in the Korean music industry were excited about the New Age boys.

They saw a huge increase in popularity around the world too, leading to an extended international tour and long, sometimes frustrating phone calls between Yoongi and Jungkook. Neither was very good at calculating time differences and Jimin had actually built an excel spreadsheet to help them remember when they could video call one another.

Since that album, New Age produced a mixed language EP of that album focusing on their foreign members, another EP of all original work, and each member had also produced their own original works and collabs.

Jungkook still hadn’t convinced Songbird to let him do a real collab with Suga, RM and J-Hope, but they’ve worked as contracted producers on some New Age and GFriend projects.

Unsurprisingly, Jimin and Tae both went behind the companies back and worked with the trio.

He took another long drink of his coffee. He was nearing the dregs.

Today was an anniversary of sorts for Jungkook and Yoongi. This whole fan event celebrated New Age’s first small concert in a Seoul park.

The day Jungkook gave Yoongi that flyer.

It was nice to celebrate his own anniversary as a fan as well as the day he met the love of his life.

The event was a little bittersweet too.

Yoongi knows this next album will be the last one the boys put out as New Age. When their contract comes up with Songbird, most aren’t planning to renew.

Mingyu and DK planned to stay with Songbird as a unit, after they did their military service. THe8 was still trying to decide if he’ll stay with Songbird or sign with another agency with a broader international focus. 

BamBam and Yugyeom planned to move to Jackson’s company, since the three were fucking like rabbits and now refused to be separated for more than 48 hrs. The8 might join their company too since it has an international focus. 

Yugyeom was already throwing a fucking fit about military service since his boyfriends don’t have to serve and he’s stated more than once that BamBam and Jackson have lived in Korea long enough they should have to serve too. 

Jaehyun has already announced he’ll do his service after this tour is done. Yoongi knows he is excited about a solo career and Yoongi is also excited for him.

He’s become closer to the singer, though his relationship with Jaehyun is not as close as Seokjin’s relationship with New Age’s leader.

And Jungkook.

He was also planning on doing his service and remaining unsigned to wait for Namjoon and Seokjin to officially launch their new label. Namjoon already had commitments from Tae, Jimin and the members of GFriend to jump once their contracts come up. Joon also had a few indie rappers, an older ballad singer who wanted to come out of retirement and a few producers lined up for when they make the jump. Yoongi was pretty excited about this guy who went by the name Pdogg.

Hoseok will be leading choreo, Jin would take care of the business-side and Joon was on music production, with Yoongi’s assistance.

The majority of the crowd might not know this is one of New Age's last performances, but Ten and the girls did. 

Ten used his art world connections to find them some investors and it turns out the girls have a garage rock band with a heavy focus on the infusion of pop punk, grunge and traditional kpop sounds. At least, that's how Yoongi pitched the girls to Joon. So the girls might not know the details, but they aren't dumb. 

Yoongi was helping start a new company and Jungkook’s contract is almost up. They were smart enough to see what was coming.

He slowly moved through the line (and they’ve finally moved into the building, thank fuck) while thinking about their future.The past year has been rough at times. The distance, living as a weird open secret, and finally addressing Yoongi and Jungkook as equals in their relationship.

Yoongi never wanted to go back to the week-long fight they had when Jungkook claimed Yoongi would only stay with him to keep Jungkook happy, not because Yoongi actually wanted Jungkook.

And that’s when Yoongi finally started seeing a therapist again.

When they got to the band, Mingyu was first at the artists’ table. He had to hide his laugh and pretty much duck under the table. Next is The8, who smirked at Yoongi and told him Jungkook has been pouting all day since Yoongi didn’t join them backstage.

Next is Jungkook who is very surprised and very happy to see Yoongi. Yup, this was the best kind of surprise.

Jungkook laughed so hard he cried and almost fell out of his chair before reaching across the table and grabbing Yoongi’s hand, grin on his face.

How did Yoongi get this lucky? What did he do to deserve this man?

“I thought you couldn’t come until the concert tonight.”

Jungkook’s smile was dazzling. Fucking universe in his big, dark eyes.

Yoongi smiled and leaned closer.

“Come on, do you really think I’d miss this? I’m your number one fan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your support.  
> Please, let me know if you see any errors in the fic, I do want to correct them.
> 
> I am working on another story, but it will likely be very, very long so I might try to actually publish something shorter before I start putting out those chapters. I also want to branch out to other fandoms, but BTS keeps pulling me back in.
> 
> I absolutely want to hear all of your thoughts about everything, so feel free to comment!
> 
> Once again, shout out to my user subscriber! This one is for you dear!

**Author's Note:**

> It is done! It is finally done!  
> Thanks to all the people who sent me lovely comments throughout the time I was writing this, it really means a lot to me. I enjoyed creating this world and I hope you enjoy it too!
> 
> As always, I love feedback and I hope you like this AU!


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